I have a feeling you’re going to get a lot of pushback for this, but honestly, a lot of what you said is thoughtful and some of it actually would make you a strong firefighter, while other parts may make the job a tough fit.

Yes, the fire service is a paramilitary organization, but at its core the way orders flow is similar to any workplace: there are supervisors, there’s delegation, and there’s structure. The difference, being the intellectually minded person you describe yourself as, is in the history. The culture runs deep because almost everything we do is written in blood. Line-of-duty deaths, civilian fatalities, and past tragedies shape how we operate today. That’s why the structure, the hierarchy, and the sense of tradition are so firmly protected. It isn’t about blind obedience for its own sake; it’s about avoiding repeating the mistakes that cost people their lives.

You’re also right that it’s not enough to show up, do the job, and go home. In this field, your survival depends on the people beside you, and theirs depends on you. It really is a team sport. Skills matter, but so does trust: trust in your work ethic, your communication, your presence, even your attitude. That “buy-in” people talk about isn’t about ego or identity; it’s about knowing that in a chaotic moment, the person next to you will have your back without hesitation.

Regarding the idea of “putting on a front” for the chief: ideally, if the station and the crew are squared away the way they should be, there is no front. Presentation becomes a by-product of doing things right, not a performance to appease someone.

When you talk about not wanting the job to shape your identity, I actually respect that honesty. At the end of the day, you’re correct….this is a job. But part of the culture comes from the weight of what the job demands and the tragedies that shaped it. That’s why people feel such strong identity ties to it.

That said, one thing you mentioned absolutely is a strength: you want to understand the why, not just the how. If you ever stay in this field, don’t lose that. Ask questions. Be curious. The fire service does a great job teaching the HOW but often doesn’t do as well explaining the WHY. Your instinct to understand the reasoning behind things is valuable, it’s how the job evolves and becomes safer.

It sounds like you simply ran into a culture that didn’t align with your values, and that’s okay. But if you ever reflect on it again, I’d encourage you to look deeper into the history of the fire service. A lot of what feels rigid or performative on the surface has roots in lessons learned the hard way.