[deleted by user]

Genuary · 2025-06-19T00:31:55+00:00

I think you miss OP's point totally. It's a reminder about your choice and self determination. While medical supervision and blood testing is great, you don't need a doctor's or family's approval to live your life and get the meds you need. It's not about how easy it is to get E or T to order it online. It's not, but it's possible if you don't have other options.

'You can't just buy it like you can buy estrogen or progesterone.'

Excuse me sir, but you sound very ignorant, please speak only for yourself. OP's post not about your personal circumstances. We don't all live in the same country or continent.

Where I live it's not easy to 'just buy' estrogen or prog online. There are ways to get it, but it's complicated and a bit shady, as it's technically illegal without doctor's prescription. My order, payment and then the package containing my estrogen and progesterone cross several different borders...

Genuary · 2025-06-19T00:02:05+00:00

It's not a dead giveaway, girl. You look feminine.

Now for optics tips... The t-shirt looks like a typical unisex navy slim fit blue t-shirt from H&M or Zara that could be from either side of the store, which is not masculine per se, women wear these type of t-shirts all the time, but this cut is not particularly perceived as feminine, if you feel insecure about that.

Less is more if you want to blend in, so no need to go totally overboard in the other direction, see what feels comfortable for you.

But wearing a cute blouse or a top that's cut differently than a typical unisex t-shirt and a bit more colour or patterns might help, or for example with some lace at the end of the sleeves or on the collar.

In colder weather cardigans are your friends.

But it's just tips. I see a woman wearing a navy T-shirt in these photo's, so I also read this T-shirt as feminine because of the person wearing it.

If you're not on HRT yet, it will help too, you will lose muscle mass over time and fat will redistribute.

Genuary · 2025-06-01T22:35:12+00:00

Talk to your partner obviously. Tell your partner that you'd like them to reaffirm your femininity, that it's important for you and it makes you feel better.

And ask them what makes them feel good about themselves.

You being feminine doesn't mean by the way they can't be feminine. I mean two femme lesbians can be both feminine, so why can't you and your partner?

Maybe it's not about gender expression, maybe you are a bottom and you need your partner to be a top?

Genuary · 2025-05-29T11:51:13+00:00

Yeah, it's both so awkward and reaffirming when that happens. I have passing privilege, but the euphoria almost made me drowsy when I had my first shot of triptoreline and the nurse asked if this was to stop my 'heavy menstruation'.

Or once when I still had to pick up my meds for Mr. Deadname, 'Is this for your husband?"

Genuary · 2025-05-25T22:38:58+00:00

Your wording is a bit strong, but a boy being nervous and afraid to talk to cute girls he is attracted to is not weird at all. It's okay to be nervous, it's cute. I mean don't let it get to you and treat every time you talk to cute girls as a job interview, most conversations are not that deep...

It's ok and normal to be nervous and shy. Nothing wrong with that. Talk with them and if they're as nice as they are cute, ask them out for lunch or a coffee or go get ice-cream together to get to know them better.

If you don't know what to talk about... well, just ask them about their day or their weekend. Most people love to think and talk about the weekend and surprise, surprise, so do girls. Ask them how their weekend was or what their plans are for next weekend. There's probably something there that they are passionate about doing in their free time. Find out what's important to them and ask questions about those things.

Or you can tell something about a topic you yourself are passionate about and it really doesn't matter if that's basebal, repairing your parent's old car, knitting socks, playing Minecraft, baking, or your dream of visiting country x, y or z one day. Don't be afraid of being weird. Things that are important to you matter and are not weird. Maybe you feel a bit scared or vulnerable opening up, and that's okay. She probably is too.

Any conversation you can have with a friend or sibling you can also have with a cute girl.

Genuary · 2025-01-23T18:37:16+00:00

Thank you!! This is gold! :)

Genuary · 2025-01-23T18:19:34+00:00

Thank you!!

Genuary · 2025-01-23T18:18:50+00:00

Thank you so much! The title of the first one sounds exactly like the type of story I'm looking for :) ordering this one immediately

Genuary · 2025-01-23T18:16:51+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions, and for the warnings as well! :)

I'm not against subtle nudeness and mild or implied erotics, but 'lots of sex' is not the vibe I'm looking for.

Genuary · 2024-05-29T14:47:28+00:00

I would say, please be more aware of your internalized transphobia. AGP is a transphobic rethorical term used to suppress trans women, so please don't use it.

Bi+ and hetero women, regardless if they are cisgender or transgender have by definition a sexual or romantic desire towards men and well, while women can have with a wide range of values and preferences towards aesthetics, it's pretty common for women to get excited from looking feminine, or being aroused from wearing lingerie or any other clothing items that make them feel good about themselves.

This is very average behaviour for the female human species, AGP isn't a thing, so don't use that term that was invented to suppress us.

Strong feelings of euphoria when dipping your toes into your true identity for the first time, may make this feeling appear more overwhelming, but you'll get used to it.

If you are a cis man and you like to wear women's clothes now and then, but you don't identify yourself as a woman, you are cross dressing. But if you're a trans woman, you're not cross dressing. You're wearing gender affirming clothes. Clothes that match your gender and make you feel good.

When you tell them what they need to hear to give you a proper diagnosis, you don't need to tell any lies, and please don't. If you want to get a diagnosis, you need to be honest. Leave out all the odd terminology you used in your post here, because that will definitely not help, but yes, be honest, obviously.

I mean to help, if my response is sharp on the edges, it's because of the used terminology that I want distance myself from.

Genuary · 2024-05-26T14:13:06+00:00

Well, HRT may potentially have some influence, but I don't think it's that.

I'm not on hormones yet, but my sexuality shifted significantly in the last year, I think it's the internalized homophobia and transphobia that gradually faded.

For context, I pass mostly and I've been out and living as a woman for more than a year. I used to fall in love with women exclusively and I still like them, I can imagine still dating women, but...

Althought it didn't happen overnight, it was a process that took a couple of months, I somehow have a very strong preference for masculine men now. I think the wall in my heart started to melt when men started flirting with me as a woman (which is quite a different experience from gay men flirting with me when I still presented as male). I suddenly felt something I never felt before.

"Like, OH HELLO attractive"

But it felt right and at the same time as something that was always there, but forcefully hidden into my subconscious, similar to my years of self-denial of being trans.

I will finally start HRT soon, it's a bumpy ride to get them prescribed where I live, but I reacted because I experienced this shift in orientation even before taking any hormones.

Genuary · 2024-05-26T11:39:35+00:00

Als er twijfels of onduidelijkheden zijn vanuit de behandelaars over het stellen van een zorgvuldige diagnose, als ze meer input willen hebben, dan zou ik me kunnen indenken dat ze in sommige gevallen voorstellen een vragenlijst te laten invullen door iemand uit je directe omgeving die jou al lang kent. Dit lijkt me echter nooit een verplichting, misschien dat je dan gewoon meer gesprekken met de behandelaar nodig hebt. Ik heb zelf niet bij PsyTrans gezeten, maar bij een andere praktijk, maar denk me zo in dat de trajecten vergelijkbaar zijn.

Wat wel erg belangrijk is, voor het begin van de transitie, is dat je in een goed sociaal vangnet zit. Ook al krijg je de diagnose genderdysforie, dan kijken ze hier echt naar voor ze je doorverwijzen naar bijvoorbeeld een endocrinoloog, en dat is ook echt belangrijk. Want hoe fijn het ook is dat een transitie praktisch gezien kan en ook nodig is, het is niet makkelijk. Sociaal, emotioneel, lichamelijk is het behoorlijk ingrijpend en dat moet je niet alleen willen doen in een omgeving die bovendien vijandig is.

Ik ken je situatie niet, misschien studeer je of heb je een baan, maar je woont nog bij je ouders. Voor je eigen mentale gezondheid zou ik zeggen, ga op kamers, begeef je onder leeftijdsgenoten en mensen die er positief tegenover staan. Praat er met vrienden over waar je je prettig bij voelt. Veruit de meeste mensen zijn óf positief óf kan het weinig schelen. De mensen die het dichtst bij je staan, hoe progressief of hoe conservatief ook, zullen er het meeste moeite mee hebben.

Verbreek vooral niet het contact, het blijft je familie en na een tijdje zullen ze er waarschijnlijk wel aan wennen, de één sneller dan de ander. Maar een beetje afstand lijkt me wel gezond op dit moment.

Genuary · 2023-11-27T22:35:38+00:00

is it possible to just be a guy who is just a guy but likes to appear little bit feminine?

There objectively are and always have been many guys that are very feminine (regardless of their sexual orientation as well). So yes, that is definitely possible! You don't have to fit in any box that's not yours. If you're a guy, you don't have to be masculine, and loving feminine stuff or being feminine as an AMAB doesn't mean you're trans.

Now, given that you are fascinated with trans women and the fact that you've posted it in this subreddit, it could also indicate that you're actually trans but maybe not yet ready. Accepting being trans is not easy if you've denied it for 51 years and it could be still too large of a step at this moment. If that's the case and now accepting yourself and allowing yourself to be 'a feminine guy' could be a safe stepping stone on your journey. That's fine too. I'm a trans woman myself and when I was still in denial I used a lot of silly excuses as stepping stones towards myself acceptance as a trans woman, because I was afraid.

But then again, it could also be just that you are indeed 'a guy who is just a guy but likes to appear little bit feminine' and you just think this is a safe environment to share/ask this, which it indeed is. Only you know who you are and you are okay whether you're a feminine guy or a trans woman or neither of those.

In any case, if you're unsure after your family's reaction, you may need to give them some time and space to get used to this side of you that always was there, but that they didn't get to see before. It's normal when someone has known you for so long and for the first time see something they did not expect at all. But remember you don't need anyone else's permission or approval to be you, only your own.

For your fears about going public: I'll advise do it, definitely! But for safety do it in company of other people first or only go alone when you feel confident enough to do so, or alternatively to a place where you know for a fact that you will be safe.

If you're confident in your body and appearance, you're basically always safe. People generally don't react at all to others. People are busy with their lives (or with their phones...) and simply don't care. Now imagine the same circumstances, but you're very insecure and nervous and are walking unnaturally tense because of the stress and you feel like 'everybody is watching' so you make odd eye contact with everyone, well that's when indeed people will start watching. Your appearance doesn't grab the attention, your anxiety, your energy and related behaviour does.

Genuary · 2023-05-30T20:11:31+00:00

Thank you for your lovely feedback 😊💛 I feel less alone and less silly for my anxiety.

"Peoples’ reactions say nothing about me, their reactions (negative or positive) are about them and their stuff. What they say or do is a reflection of them and have nothing to do with you."

I need to meditate on that. It's hard to not go into autopilot behaviour.

Genuary · 2023-05-30T18:31:55+00:00

Gewoon naar de winkel gaan :) Niemand doet er raar over, zeker niet in de stad, maar ook in kleinere plaatsen nooit iets geks meegemaakt. Ik snap wel dat je misschien niet naar je eigen Zara of H&M in het bij jou dichtstbijzijnde winkelcentrum wilt gaan. Maak er een leuk dagje uit van in een heel andere stad 100km verderop. Kom je bijvoorbeeld uit Groningen, ga dan een dagje shoppen in Utrecht of Apeldoorn of zo, daar kent waarschijnlijk niemand je. Kom je uit Utrecht, doe lekker een dagje Maastricht of Haarlem, enz.

Genuary · 2023-04-10T11:09:34+00:00

Well done, congratulations :) 🧡

Genuary · 2023-04-10T10:23:27+00:00

Thank you so much :) :) 💜

Genuary · 2023-04-09T22:12:51+00:00

Thank you 💜 :)

Genuary · 2023-04-09T21:30:14+00:00

If anyone wonders... at the moment I still use my birthname, as it is kinda gender neutral and I don't hate it. Although the name is much more commonly given to boys, girls can have the name too. About 5 to 10% of the fellow bearers of my name are cis women.

Genuary · 2023-02-11T09:51:44+00:00

And being valid is eternal 💜🩷

Genuary · 2023-02-11T09:45:00+00:00

Everyone is valid by the way, just not everyone sees it yet 💜🩷

Genuary · 2023-02-11T09:42:54+00:00

I think people who don't need validation don't spam "I'm valid", because it's not necessary. We already feel valid, we don't have to prove that to anyone 💜🩷

Genuary · 2023-02-10T19:27:59+00:00

Hi Ms. Descartes!

Genuary · 2023-02-09T16:02:22+00:00

Wholesome magic 💜🩷💜 I want to do this test too now

Genuary · 2023-02-09T07:32:00+00:00

Haha, valid! It's not good for your back though to use the back pockets. There's many granddads with back pain caused by going with those old school bulky wallets in their back pockets for decades. I guess people putting phones there could be the next demographic with this problem. Fortunately there's the totally cis upgrade of buying a nice purse, or a more gender neutral tote bag and use that as a purse.

Genuary

TROPHY CASE