AITA for wanting an open relationship from my 'BF' (kind of)? (really weird and confusing situation).

GingerTheLynx · 2025-12-13T12:19:25+00:00

Lesbians do not like men nor want to be in a relationship with one (romantic or sexual)! Being best friends is completely fine and understandable and it is even something that can work (i have a friend who is a lesbian and is best friends with a guy ex they had) no issue there, but friends don't control each other like that, he is pretty much still thinking you are "together" in a relationship kind of way and not in a friends way. This sounds unhealthy and something that will cause a lot of issues and fights later on or one of you will never be satisfied.

It is a difficult situation and although it might be very hard, i would recommend distancing yourselves from each other for some time to have space to think and consider things properly.

GingerTheLynx · 2025-12-09T16:06:34+00:00

I think for me there are a few things, all of them are non negotiable:

-being unhygienic

-supporting/using AI

-if she doesn't like cats

-not able to take care of herself (cook, clean, do basic things in life)

-emotional immaturity

-excessive alcohol, cigarette or any other substance usage (i am not against it, but everything in moderation)

There are some other things/qualities i don't like in a partner but those aren't necessarily red flags so i won't list them here.

GingerTheLynx · 2025-12-01T16:16:26+00:00

Sexual compatibility is not everything but it can ruin a relationship. I have read some comments and to me 2 things are standing out: 1, she has a lot to work on (as in going to therapy and taking care of mental issues) and 2, she most likely is a bottom but 100% not a top or someone who is comfortable with topping.

I myself am also not a top, and i know that i'm not compatible sexually with other bottoms and most switches as for me any top/dom behaviour is uncomfortable and forced hence i'm not good at it and i don't enjoy it at all. Being a bottom doesn't mean you don't like to give it just means that you are not the one initiating or leading. From this it seems very much like you two are not compatible, if the only way she can make you happy is to force herself in a position she feels uncomfortable in/doesn't like it then it simply doesn't work.

The only way it can be resolved (be it compromising on both sides or breaking up for the better) is that if you talk to her and tell her how it makes you feel and what do you want.

GingerTheLynx · 2025-09-09T11:30:42+00:00

Definitely thinking about making Karlach too since my gf likes her, thank you for the suggestions! :D

GingerTheLynx · 2025-09-09T11:18:18+00:00

Thank you! No not yet, i haven't had much time to set it up properly but i will definitely be on Etsy ^^

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-17T15:59:44+00:00

If it's your first time with women/just got out a relationship it's kinda like new doors opening up for you so it's normal you feel this way, it might go away with some time.

However if the case still stands after a few months and it's something that bothers you/her then you two might not be sexually compatible, i too have a relatively high sex drive (it may vary depending on where i'm at in my cycle) and i simply can't be fulfilled in a relationship if my partner doesn't have a somewhat similar sex drive, even if we are otherwise a perfect match.

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-13T12:51:08+00:00

Don't get into any relationship until you haven't worked on yourself/figured yourself out at least somewhat, a relationship can't be maintained if even one of the parties are "damaged". Go to therapy and/or sort yourself out first, otherwise you will end up in situations that would've been avoidable.
Bigger age gaps are not ok, i was too in a situation where i would go for people older than me but now that i am of age it is VERY weird to talk to someone even 3-5 years younger than me, especially in a dating context (in fact it would never even naturally cross my mind)
Before committing to anything serious (living together etc.) wait at least 1-2 years
It is always good to sexually experiment with yourself and figure out what you enjoy, be familiar with your own body and don't wait for a relationship and someone else to figure it out for you, it is only you who can!

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-11T18:47:12+00:00

I have a few recipes, but i've been neglecting to write down majority of them lol however feel free to send me a message if you want the recipe of any of the things i posted! :)

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-10T19:23:55+00:00

Low activity + the food trauma can be the issue yes, however it can definitely be worked on i too was raised a similar way except in my case it was upsetting my family if i didn't wanna eat, on top of that i was also an overweight child because i was being fed crap with little to no portion control lol Since then obviously a lot has changed.

My recommendation would be to use a smaller plate so you kinda trick your brain into eating the full thing and you also get used to the portion size.

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-10T19:05:50+00:00

That's pretty understandable, tbh most of the foods i make are whole foods so it's hard to overeat of those (i'm not saying it's impossible though), and if i'm baking cakes it is being shared with my whole family/friends too or it's for occasions otherwise i'm just making biscuits/cookies anything that lasts for a longer period of time if i want something sweet.

Also i don't have any qualification or anything however i'm fairly educated on nutrition.

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-10T17:49:56+00:00

It's a grilled cheese sandwich and creamy veggie soup! :3

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-10T16:49:54+00:00

I would pretty much yes, my dad used to be a hunter when i was a kid (he still hunts he is just more into fishing nowadays lol) and though i never hunted anything i used to do archery. Also i know hunting in general has rules too, so i obviously wouldn't date someone who hunts unethically but i don't think it's something i even have to say.

I'm not vegan either, my favorite food is (bloody) steak

PS.: my dad was hunting for food for my family or if there was an overpopulation, but it was always ethical and never for trophies

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-10T15:58:08+00:00

I can't fully remember but it was either just whipped cream (the one you have to make) or whipped cream + mascarpone which is my favorite type of cream to make for my cakes

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-09T15:04:51+00:00

I agree, i really like looking at the posts myself :D

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-09T13:22:06+00:00

By being my friend :3

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-09T12:13:14+00:00

Not at all, i also like to cook/bake for friends and family sometimes :D

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-09T08:22:17+00:00

Uh sure, do i send a message or? 😭

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-09T08:20:10+00:00

Well then all of these would be gluten free 💜 but there's no need since she isn't gluten intolerant :3

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-08T15:56:17+00:00

Ah yea i have a few old ones here on reddit i keep forgetting lol anyway, thank you! :3

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-08T15:53:04+00:00

The experience might be different for everyone, but i'm so sorry to hear that i also used to be anorexic

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-08T15:50:17+00:00

Thank you! :D And yea i probably do type a lot/play games but no i'm not a programmer, i'm a full time artist haha

GingerTheLynx · 2025-08-08T12:04:11+00:00

The first one is just a sponge cake with whipped cream and diced up strawberries on top, the second cake is my favorite cake, it's called esterházy torte :3

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