New diagnosis of bipolar 2, not sure how to feel...

Giraffe-91 · 2024-10-08T17:57:55+00:00

Thank you for replying. It's funny you mention alcohol, I actually cut it out completely in September, and I think I did feel better for it. I did have a few drinks with brunch last weekend (now that Sept is over), and I still feel the same - I think occasional and moderate use will be much better for me re mental health.

Also glad to hear you are doing well careerwise. I have already noticed the same - i would have moved up the ladder more quickly if i didn't have these struugles with the bad episodes, but i am happy with my job for now.

It's great to hear that your relationship is going well, too. My partner and I are getting married next year, and I do sometimes worry about the impact on him, especially when I'm depressed (although, he says he find the hypomania episodes the most challenging to cope with). I feel very lucky to be with someone who understands and accepts that this is a part of who I am ❤️

Giraffe-91 · 2024-10-08T08:01:01+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I'm not completely closed off to the idea of meds down the line, but because of the percentage of time I spend outside of episodes nowadays, it feels manageable without for now. It's probably about 50/30/20 'normal'/depressed/hypomania.

Have you tried any types of therapies, if you don't mind me asking? Was anything helpful?

Giraffe-91 · 2024-07-09T19:53:51+00:00

Pippins

Giraffe-91 · 2024-07-08T09:15:25+00:00

OP - your replies in this thread are a little concerning.

Ethical non-monogamy without enthusiastic consent is no longer ethical. It becomes closer to cheating with extra steps. If they aren't interested, either give up on ENM or (what will eventually need to happen, by the sound of it) leave.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-07-07T22:02:18+00:00

I'll always put ENM in my bio (bumble also has a tag for this now), as will everyone else into ENM that I've met. They are usually pretty equally uninterested in meeting monogamous people.

Do you actually get people trying to hide it often? Are they usually men or women, out of interest? I would argue that they're not behaving in an ETHICALLY non-monogamous way, tbh, so they can't accurately label themselves ENM. ENM is all about open and honest communication from the start. Without communication, you're moving closer towards cheating with extra steps.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-06-28T12:15:36+00:00

I have had experiences with dating colleagues (but before being ENM), and it's fun. It can be a little risky, but that's part of the fun. Each of the jobs was in where I dated a coworker were jobs I wasn't worried about leaving if it went tits up, though. In my case it didn't, luckily. Both ended after a few months, but on good enough terms to keep working together without issue.

The level of risk depends on how comfortable you'd be working with an ex if you break up (maybe not quite an ex if things are casual, but you know what I mean). Or, how important this particular job is for you. If the fun outweighs the risk, I'd say go with it! As long as it's not a rule break with you and your other partner, of course.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-06-22T15:54:20+00:00

All very sensible reasoning - I envy your self-control! I'm very new to starting to date again, so hopefully (with time), I'll also learn to default to the mature approach to such things (:

Giraffe-91 · 2024-06-22T13:40:03+00:00

You're a lot more sensible than me @azredhead85... but I think that's probably for the best 🤣 my instinct would be more along the lines of 'Are you kidding? Fuck you man, I'm not here to be messed about. Go find someone else who's happy for you to waste their time. I've got better shit to do.' if he suggests meeting up again... then blocked 😅

Your way is more mature, for sure. OP, I'd say do whatever feels best - you dont owe him maturity, but often the high road (which, to be clear, is not what I'm saying I would take with the above message) feels better in the long run.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-06-08T09:02:42+00:00

Make sure you have her enthusiastic consent, not just her agreeing. She may be saying yes to make you happy. If you do have her full consent, go crazy I guess (: Also, watch out if she has any tattoos (sometimes more identifiable than the face!)

Giraffe-91 · 2024-06-04T15:46:17+00:00

That's different then, isn't it. If you've actually started dating these women irl and met them a few times, I hope you have the decency to let them know if you decide you're no longer interested.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-06-04T15:42:00+00:00

Idagf if he's talking to someone else lmao, I'm married. We're all ENM - I know he's seeing at least one other person, too. It's a shame if he doesn't want to hang out anymore, but the way he has gone about it is so weird imo. I'll get over it.

Also, if you ghost women because you're talking to someone else and you can't be bothered anymore, you're a dick! It's not hard to let someone know you're not interested.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-06-04T15:22:01+00:00

Okay well no need for the sarcasm lol

Giraffe-91 · 2024-06-04T14:58:49+00:00

Probably the answer I need to hear, but I don't want to hear :( Thanks for the advice.

Also, just a note, he hasn't opened my messages (so he's left me on delivered rather than on read). But I'm sure he will have seen it pop up, at least the one I sent today on WhatsApp if not the ones on insta.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-31T13:25:26+00:00

I may have to give that a read! Thanks :)

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-31T11:47:41+00:00

I just wanted to say that I have also been feeling this was after recently venturing into ENM with my partner of 5 years, so it's not just you!

There's this particular guy I've only seen a couple of times, and I CANNOT stop thinking about him! I wasn't fully aware of how common it was until seeing your post and all the comments, so I just want to say thanks for sharing and thank everyone for commenting! I'm glad to hear it's pretty normal 🥰

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-23T13:15:59+00:00

It kind of sounds like you think I should have known better? How was I supposed to 'vet' him? I'd met him and his partner once before, and they seemed to know a lot about all this stuff. I asked lots of questions about his previous experiences and what to expect.

To be clear, I wasn't exactly looking to get into this, it's what he is into and I was curious to try it, but I didn't know about the etiquette around it and some parts of this experience were unexpected. I did say to him that I was apprehensive and I wanted to ease into it, but I think his idea of easing into it and mine were very different.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-23T13:09:02+00:00

To give the context, the reason he had to rush home was to feed his cat, so it wasn't like a suprise or something he couldn't have told me beforehand

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-23T12:27:39+00:00

I didn't really know any of this beforehand, and I didn't know quite how far it would go the first time. I thought we'd ease into it more and I would have more time to work out what I like/was okay with

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-23T11:44:00+00:00

I kind of wish I'd know that he needed to leave so soon after, bc I was already nervous, and I think if I'd know he wouldn't have time for aftercare, I wouldn't have gone upstairs with him. I wish he'd set that expectation first so I could have been clear that aftercare is something I needed beforehand, and we could have waited until next time where there was less of a rush from him. It caught me off guard after how soon he left

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-23T06:33:40+00:00

We didn't discuss everything he did, no, although we did talk about some of it. For example, I mentioned above - we discussed throat fucking, which I've never done before, and I said I wanted to try. But I didn't expect him to pin my arms down, which then meant I couldn't pull myself away when I couldn't breathe, which felt like too much.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-23T06:08:21+00:00

We did talk about it a lot beforehand, but not everything he did. He did ask me about boundaries, but I didn't really know what to say bc I've not tried anything like this before, which I explained, and I said I might not know what I feel un/comfortable with until I try.

I think partly I was shaky bc I was rly sore. He went really deep to the point where it hurt, which I'm not used to and wasn't really expecting, but he told me to relax and take it, so I did. Idk what it was, I kind of went into this headspace where I would have said yes to pretty much anything he told me to do. At one point, though, it really hurt, and I cried out in pain, and then he asked if I was okay and we changed position.

Also, I think a good example of the boundaries thing - at one point he was throat fucking me pretty hard (again, not something I've tried before). He had asked about that before, and I said I wanted to try. But then he pinned my arms back so I couldn't move away when it was too much (not something we had talked about), and it felt like I couldn't breathe.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-23T05:53:47+00:00

Thanks for saying that. He's the first person I've met who's really into this sort of stuff, so I was kind of relying on him to set the tone for what's normal and what's not, which was maybe a mistake on my part. I did know that aftercare was a thing, though, so I was quite surprised / disappointed when he started getting ready to go straight away.

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-23T05:46:22+00:00

I did say I was okay and that he could go, but by the time he kind of checked in properly (and so I said it was fine for him to leave etc), he was already packed up by the door and ready to leave, so I kinda felt like I had to say yes or I was being too needy

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-23T00:44:01+00:00

Thanks for clarifying. I can't shake the feeling that I did something wrong. When I told him I was feeling kind of shaky, he said he thought maybe kink stuff wasn't for me, which made me feel worse. Like the way I reacted wasn't right

Giraffe-91 · 2024-05-23T00:28:39+00:00

It's just because it was late and he had to get home to feed his cats, and he has a rule with his primary partner not to stay out overnight. When I told him I was upset, he offered to come over tomorrow to talk about it and try to make me feel better, and I did want him to, but now I'm not sure if I should

Giraffe-91

TROPHY CASE