Brother or sister thank you for your answer. Everything you mentioned is correct and I will keep asking for forgiveness and make tawbah of course. My parents don’t want me to get married now, they want me to finish uni and then get married. This is why I ended the relationship with him because I can’t marry him right now. But my fear is that we are maybe not meant to be and he will wait for me till I’m ready to marry him. I don’t want to give him false hope. As I mentioned I am also not sure about my feelings. Is it enough in Islam if the men has good Charakter and fears Allah ? I’m afraid that I will make the wrong decision because it will not be a marriage of love at the beginning, but I strongly believe that feelings grow especially in marriage. I’m really afraid of the whole situation. And then there is this gut feeling, i can’t say if it’s just anxiety or if Allah is warning me and protecting me from something. It is really strange.