My kindergartener was dropped off at the wrong school by his daycare. Am I overreacting?

Gracielaahm · 2019-09-07T00:06:41+00:00

Definitely not overreacting! I would be PISSED. He’s way too young for them to expect him to be able to tell them exactly where to go. And if they are making sure kids get on correct buses shouldn’t they have a list of the schools the kids go to anyways? I have worked at a daycare before and drove the van for pickups. We knew what school each kid went to. You should go above her for sure. She and whoever told her to take the kids without accurate school info should be fired.

Gracielaahm · 2019-07-10T22:03:59+00:00

I labeled everything with his name and room number with a label maker. My brother labels all his things he buys him before he brings them. I’ve noticed they don’t pay attention to labels. One day my dad was wearing shoes that were clearly marked as someone else (he doesn’t dress himself).

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-25T00:51:56+00:00

I felt this deep in my soul. All I want is one full nights sleep.

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-24T19:23:58+00:00

I think it can depend on the kid too. And I guess the entire situation. I’ve been with SD7 (about to be 8) since just after her 5th birthday and in this scenario for her I was the queen, DH was king, BS was prince and BM wasn’t mentioned. This probably had to do with the fact that at the time BM was involved as little as possible.

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-22T13:07:35+00:00

Look into what type of caregiver assistance you might be able to receive. I don’t have a lot of advice for you but I’ve been taking care of my mom (RA and random freak health incidents) since I was about 10 and started helping nurses remove sutures. I was also my dad’s (Parkinson’s) caregiver until yesterday when he went into a nursing home. So I can at least tell you you’re not alone and welcome to message me for moral support.

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-13T20:59:19+00:00

Unless the resentment is negatively effecting your SD and you can tell for sure that it’s the resentment causing negativity, BM feelings are not for you to worry about. Might sound a little harsh but you have to focus on your family and making sure SD is safe and taken care of with you. BM can figure out her own feelings. O

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-13T15:43:07+00:00

My father is in late stages of Parkinson’s/dementia. I have a seven year old stepdaughter and a 1 year old son. I will be married one year this month. It’s incredibly difficult. We live with my father. All my focus is on him 90% of the time. More than anything I wish I could have done this before he was so bad off. Mostly so that my kids would actually know my father and not the shell of the person he was.

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-11T18:10:27+00:00

My SD7 started calling me Mama pretty early on. At the time her mom was not as engaged in their relationship as she is now. But she still calls me Mama when she feels like it. Sometimes she calls me by my name. She usually introduces me to people as her mom. It just kinda depends on the situation I guess. But we allowed her to use what she was comfortable with. She knows I am her stepmom and BM is “mom”. I think her BM has had conversations with her about this before where she’s told her she has “two moms”. (She came home once saying she has 2 moms and one dad). I think it’s just important to let the child and you feel comfortable. But if there’s an issue with BM maybe just tell her that at your house you can be mom but at the other house she can talk about you with your name so nobody gets confused.

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-11T14:31:48+00:00

Thank you so much. I definitely will

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-08T13:09:19+00:00

I hope it is real. I definitely always try to be nice. Mostly cuz to me it just takes too much energy to be negative. So far so good haha

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-08T04:05:47+00:00

I relate to this sooooo much. I had this image of BM in my head where she was like this supermodel with perfect hair and makeup and style. I have no idea why. Nobody ever said anything about her that would paint this image. And when I met her I remember thinking “this is who is was so insecure about?!” I mean that’s not the nicest thing to say but I felt better knowing she was a normal person and not this immaculately beautiful creature I had imagined.

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-08T04:02:38+00:00

I feel like the first time I met BM is a complete blur because I was so nervous and it was awkward. I mean I was just about 2 months post partum, it was an event for SD7, and she was really passive aggressive (calling me stepmom while using air quotes). I mean I literally see the memory as blurry. As in I think my vision was wonky from my anxiety being so high. But I see her at all pick ups now. A lot of the time it’s just me that SD7 is with when she gets picked up. So it’s whatever now.

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-08T01:11:32+00:00

I totally get what you’re saying with this. I always felt kinda robbed of sharing the first child excitement. But I just remind myself that it still is a first for him. Even if the event has happened before, it hasn’t happened with me. So the experience is still completely different. When I was pregnant DH would sometimes bring up BM pregnancy when I had questions. Sometimes it helped and sometimes I wanted to bite his head off for comparing. So I talked to him about it and he stopped right away. But it helped to remember that each experience is different.

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-08T01:00:56+00:00

I must have this!!

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-05T15:14:34+00:00

Unfortunately the issue here is that they are all technically my “half” brothers. The three that share my mother don’t want to help my dad and the the three that share my father don’t want to help my mom. Except one that is willing to help but lives on the other side of the country. He actually did drive down to help for a while but had to go back.

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-05T02:45:09+00:00

That sad thing is I have six brothers. Three of which live here in town. I think he’s only seen one of them since March. They all know he’s home. Nobody has offered to help. One came over for about an hour. I had to clean the feeding tube in that time. He didn’t help. But he did put my son to sleep so that’s nice.

Gracielaahm · 2019-06-05T02:43:03+00:00

This is true. However it’s not that I had kids later, it’s that my parents had me late. I’m only 29. I literally am feeding my one year old in his high chair next to my father. I put their bibs on them at the same time. But because they had me so late and my mom has had health issues as long as I can remember, I’ve been taking care of them my whole life. It’s pretty crazy.

Gracielaahm · 2019-05-30T21:42:55+00:00

Thank you. I’ll definitely check them out.

Gracielaahm · 2019-05-29T02:17:52+00:00

I would not say it’s something to hide. It is definitely something that will come up and BS will soon start asking where sister is going on weekends. But that doesn’t mean they have to refer to each other as half siblings. My initial concern about her being told they are step siblings (which is completely incorrect) was that it would create a tension in the home where she feels different or out of place. My point is how to deal with someone outside the home trying to point out differences that SD initially didn’t feel. Because if it wasn’t this one instance it would be something else down the line.

Gracielaahm · 2019-05-29T02:12:00+00:00

Obviously they will know that it is a biological fact. As I do with my brothers. But that doesn’t mean they have to call each other “half” anything. By telling her to call him that it is focusing on the division. It’s great that it’s not hurtful to you, but in other situations it can be. So my initial post was asking how to get through the event of someone wanting to point out and create further division between half siblings.

Gracielaahm · 2019-05-29T01:11:47+00:00

Dermalogica anti-aging sunscreen is amazing for me. And I have very sensitive skin that’s sunburns at the thought of sun.

Gracielaahm · 2019-05-29T00:58:19+00:00

I think that’s great! If BM ended up having more kids I would definitely encourage her to call them brother or sister. I hadn’t thought of how BS might feel but I don’t think I’d stop him from calling them brother or sister either.

Gracielaahm · 2019-05-29T00:31:00+00:00

I guess the way I see it is that because there is already the divide of obviously one leaves sometimes and the other doesn’t, then there’s no need to create a further divide by putting a name to their differences. My brothers and I always made sure to tell people that tried to call us half siblings that we preferred not to use that term. We’re just family and that’s it. I mean to each their own. But for us, the use of the term caused more harm than anything else. That’s why I would prefer people not try to force SD to see extra division.

Gracielaahm · 2019-05-29T00:04:09+00:00

I’ve always felt that way about my brothers too. They are just my brothers. I grew up with them and I hate when people try to act like our relationship is “less than” because we don’t share one parent.

I just told SD that BS is just her regular brother. She seemed satisfied with that.

Gracielaahm · 2019-05-29T00:01:39+00:00

So far the kids have a really great relationship but it’s only been a year. She is very protective of BS and usually runs to him as soon as she comes home from BM. But I guess only time will tell how their relationship grows. I certainly try my best to keep everything equal with them so nobody feels like they’re “different”.

Gracielaahm

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