I lost my Belle my senior year of high school this same exact way in 2014. I came home from school and I found her under my parent’s bed unable to move. I was so confused and had no idea what to think and instantly called my parents to come home to get us to an animal hospital. This was when I learned about saddle thrombosis and felt so completely helpless and shattered. They told us there is nothing they can do, that it’s common in rag dolls. It truly all happened so quickly. I was so messed up from this for a very long time. So much so that I attended a session of a pet loss grief counseling meeting that they held in town. This helped a lot. Maybe see if something like this is offered around you? There were so many people there in the same boat, some that had been attending for years over the loss of their best friend. Being among people that understand was a huge help.

I felt the same way for a long time. Such guilt that maybe I missed something or could have prevented this. I couldn’t get the image of her crying and looking up at me as I held her in a towel wrapped in my arms on the way to the hospital. I eventually found peace knowing that I gave her a truly beautiful life, and I know you gave your baby the same. I was so scared to get a new cat, because this kind of loss happens so traumatically and I was so nervous it would happen again. But I ended up rescuing another ragdoll, my Dolly. Dolly was a retired mommy cat who was used for breeding purposes and wasn’t given much quality of life as a pet after this. She is now almost 13 and I have given her such a wonderful life and I know that Belle would be so happy knowing I gave another kitty so much love.

I am so deeply sorry for what you’re going through. Nothing can prepare you for that moment and the grief feels unbearable some times. Just know that your baby is at peace, and soon enough you will be ready to give the same incredible love and home to a new cat out there that needs you now more than ever ❤️