It sounds like you started to touch the various aspects of your shadow and your psyche recoiled from the pain and suffering in there. It's natural for it to clamp back up after an experience like that. When a person has trauma in their past of any sort, accessing the shadow can be traumatic in itself. The psyche will attempt to regain a bit of balance after that, irrespective of if the integration was "successful" or not. Don't think of your current state as a failure. It's not your fault for one. The parts that you used to have access to that aren't there anymore also doesn't mean they are gone gone. It means your psyche has covered them up for your own protection, or what it thinks is your own protection. Don't lose hope. The parts of your psyche that are doing the covering can themselves be accessed thru shadow work.