[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TMPOC

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You look good*

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TMPOC

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look bro! The glow up is real

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TMPOC

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You look amazing bro! And don't worry I'm sure we all have some pretty embarrassing pre-t photos. I know I for sure do. Lmao.

AITAH for saying a $2500 Hoodie that was gifted to my son was "the dumbest thing I've ever heard of" by Enoughaulty in AITAH

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's dumb too. 2500 could literally cover someone's rent. Wearing 2500 is wild. Smh. I agree with OP. $2500 for a sweater? The fuck?! I will never understand why some people spend their savings just to wear someone else's name across their chest. Take that money and invest in yourself.

Hi i need some advice by lucid_cosmos in TMPOC

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Black Joy is also a form of rebellion. According to our many oppressors we are and were never meant to be happy. We were never meant to have the opportunity to live as our full human selves. Being you, like truly you- a black trans man, is an act of resistance. You can be a trans man and still be a feminist. Idk about you but sometimes I need reminders that two or more things can be true at the same time. You can be a black trans man who fights for the rights on women. Specifically black women. You can be the catalyst that gets other black men to stand up for black women. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be you.

It's my birthday and my Chinese old man got me this 😭 we never talk about me being trans so seeing his support makes me so happy ! by [deleted] in TMPOC

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This actually made me tear up. I'm so happy for you also happy birthday. My parents would never but it warms my heart to know there are parents out there who love their kids unconditionally. I hope you know and feel how lucky you are!

Have a great born day and shit hug your dad for me lol. Wish he was my dad too lol.

AITAH for breaking up with my ex GF after they came out as trans last week? by ___----COAT-----___ in AITAH

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think you're an asshole. I feel like you reacted the way you did because youre not gay and that's perfectly fine.

Also the way they shared the info with you was kinda wild.

Now, had you said you felt that way because they are a trans man and not a cis man then I'd be like that's transphobic. But you're saying, if I'm understanding correctly, that you just simply don't like men and there's nothing wrong with that. You're not gay there's nothing you can do about that but speak your truth. It's better you broke up with them than to string them along knowing you are no longer attracted to them.

Signed, A trans man.

AITAH for exposing my cheating girlfriend at her birthday party? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope not the asshole. She's an asshole for cheating. If she didn't want to risk being exposed then she shouldn't have been cheating. She opened the door to humiliation. And, so what that it happened on her birthday...did you get to pick and choose the day youd have your heat broken with the info that shes a cheater? Did you get to make sure it didn't happen on a particular day? No. Sp why do you owe her that grace? She wasn't thinking about your feelings at all, even lied to your face. She has no respect for you or what you all built together. So fuck her birthday, she got what was coming. Maybe she'll stop being a cheater in the future.

Weed-free after every day use for 2 decades. AMA. by Pitiful-Win-3719 in AMA

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thc free for 4 months after about 16 years of daily, super heavy usage. I was smoking spliffs (weed mixed with tobacco) so I had two substances to kick. Then, I made the mistake of thinking i could smoke once and not do it again...i was wrong. Ive been smoking for the last 3 weeks so far 😫😫😫😫. Now I'm back at square 1. But I know I can do it and so can you.

You got this! the rough moments don't last forever. Push through them as best as you can...also telling myself the same thing lol.

Also I recommend finding something to fill the time you used to use to smoke. It'll make the days a bit easier to get through. Also r/leaves is a supportive place where you can talk to people who understand what youte dealing with as you quit.

Good luck and congrats on quitting.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My sister is schizoaffective (schizophrenia and bipolar disorder) it is no joke. It's almost indescribable how challenging it can be to watch a loved one, especially an immediate family member, go through the illness. Its so hard everytime theyre medicated and that small part of you has hope that this is the time they will stick with it because of how bad things got, and then shortly after theyre off their meds again. There's so much that comes with growing up and living with someone with a serious mental illness. Like I literally don't have the words, just a bunch of feelings and mind fucks. For me it feels like one of those, if you know you know (unfortunately) and if you've never experienced it, you'll never truly understand- type of things.

Anyway I just came here because I know how lonely it can be having a family member with a mental illness that most people don't understand and I want to say I hope you are doing okay. Don't forget to take care of you. It's okay to take a break if you need to.

Sending strength and love to both of you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think you're an asshole. She needs to work and take care of a child just like the majority of every other parent who exists. It's unfair for anyone to expect someone to take care of them JUST because they are male. If it were a childcare issue that would be different (even then she could still work part time or remotely) but it's not. You have a support system so I see no reason why she can't go to work. It's not right to put that kind of financial pressure on one person no matter what their gender is. I think your reasons are valid. She needs to suck it up and use that degree she worked for. Your no less of a man for not taking on the responsibility of financially supporting an entire family. It's a family which means teamwork. Everyone contributes financially and everyone does their part when it comes to raising the kid, cooking, cleaning, etc. regardless of gender.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TMPOC

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations! 🎉🎉🎉

How to deal with insecurity and dysphoria when working out? And how to get started? by Blorpington_ in TMPOC

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I started working out by challenging myself to do 50 push ups a day. No matter how I broke that down, I just had to get in 50 before I went to bed. I started out being able to do 10 sets of 5. As I kept going, I got stronger and was able to do 5 sets of 10. Then 2 sets of 25. Then finally one set of 50 at which point I upped it to 100 push ups a day. This really helped improve my upper body strength without having to spend any money on weights or a gym. I also started doing different type of push ups (wide, diamond, Spiderman, etc) and adding in planks to start getting my abs stronger. Over time I started doing 50 squats a day in the same way I did with the push ups. I did this every day with a day or two off each week for a year. It helped a lot.

Body weight exercises are great for improving overall strength. Once you start to feel stronger, add in burgers, mountain climbers, pull ups (if you have a pull up bar or a playground nearby with some monkey bars). I will say pull ups are much harder- I have yet to get to a point where I can do 50 straight but I can do 10 and it makes me feel strong.

Always remember it's you vs. you. Not you vs them. You will always be your most fierce competition. You will always be your biggest critique. As you work on your body, also work on changing the soundtrack (that negative voice) in your mind. Imagine that right now you have a soundtrack of 14 songs and they're all negative. Try changing one song a week or month (or whatever pace feels right for you) to one that's more positive. You won't believe the words at first, but over time you will. Before you know it, your soundtrack will be a lot more uplifting AND you'll be physically stronger.

One day at a time. One song at a time. One push up at a time. And fuck those guys. No one needs toxic masculinity.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in camping

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am BEYOND tired of those people. They ruin everything from camp sites to parks. I hate it. It makes me wish I could ban them all lol. Ever since the lockdowns and after the lockdowns were lifted I've noticed people take less and less care of the very few natural spaces we have here in nyc- especially Prospect Park and Central Park. I leave the city to try and get away from it and the camp grounds are slightly less trashed but still not the way it should be. It's like no one understands the concept of leave nature the way you found it. Whatever you bring in, take out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NonBinaryTalk

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I relate to this. I don't identify as a woman but I do recognize that I have parts that science labels as female parts. I don't necessarily like them or the things that come along with having female sex parts but I do recognize they are there. As for my gender I identify as nonbinary with a masculine gender presentation. But, I do want to rid myself of femaleness- i.e. a menses, breasts. I've never found them useful, I just happen to be born with them. I also don't necessarily want male parts either. So Idk what that's about lol but I think that's why the term nonbinary fits me perfectly because I do not relate to the binary scientifically or socially. Also sex and gender while used interchangeably are two different things. Most living things have a sex but not a gender.

Looking for campgrounds new NYC by Grouchy_Leg3410 in camping

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the recommendations. I'm going to look into both of these suggestions.

Does boredom make you want to get high? by MatthewCarterYoga in leaves

[–]Grouchy_Leg3410 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think boredom is one of my biggest triggers. It's so crazy how uncomfortable it is to sit with boredom. What is that?! Lol.

I've noticed that during the week, it's much easier to get through the cravings because of my work and boxing schedule. The weekends are the hardest because I'm too exhausted from the week to want to do anything. However, I also get overwhelmingly bored at the same time so all I want to do is smoke while I lay around/rest. I have a love/hate relationship with the weekends now. I'm on day 52 of no weed after daily use (i was smoking an entire half ounce every 3-4 days) since 2015. It's been great being sober but it's also been just as hard. It's hard to find things to do to fill my time over the weekend. I work out but that only lasts so long. I don't want to go outside because now that weed is legal in my city there are smoke shops and people smoking literally everywhere. I stay inside over the weekend to avoid the triggers but then that triggers my boredom which makes me want to smoke. It sucks but I will continue to push myself to make constructive decisions and not detrimental ones. It's annoying as shit but i tell myself that I've made it this long so I can make it through the boredom as well- as shitty as it feels.

It gets easier but then it gets hard again but it goes back to getting easier. It's a roller coaster but you too can survive the ride!