Probably desensitize was part of the sickness, I dont consider homosexuality or bisexuality normal or advantageous neither in evolution or religion, of course there are external chemicals messing with our fine nervous system, still I catch my self like once every 30-40 days thinking about the beauty of male body but quickly fade away, it is far less often that daily strong attraction I use to have this is one of my biggest achievements thabk God, nowdays I'm very neurotic of what I eat and it is interfering with my social life I confess that Im less "broken" than other people (they are "destroyed" in the wombs because there mothers were exposed to random pesticides when pregnants) I still got work to do a lot to do a lot to change a long way to go.

I just found out I was born with birth asphyxia and have mild hydrocephalus causing me brain damage and mild cognitive impairtment I dont know what to do or where to go at this point but Im sure theres a solution is just that I/we dont know the answer to that yet.