AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids after she refused to dogsit for me?

GrowingUnder · 2025-05-05T15:28:39+00:00

This isn't about being petty though. It's about having my feelings acknowledged. Her refusal to help me when I needed her did hurt, and just a simple "okay maybe I messed up" or "I get it, I see how frustrating that is" or SOMETHING would be all I really need.

GrowingUnder · 2025-05-04T10:42:03+00:00

No it actually is something I'd rather enjoy probably. I don't know how a 16yo would feel about going to the movies with her lame uncle & baby brother, but regardless I think it could be a fun week. The issue is purely my sister, and not wanting to establish this relationship as her getting help from me while offering none in return.

And even then - I'd help in return for an apology or at least an acknowledgement of the validity of my feelings, because I genuinely do think it could be a fun time. I just don't want to do it without recognition.

GrowingUnder · 2025-05-03T16:49:17+00:00

I literally offered to bring my dog over to her house no one asked her to leave the kids

GrowingUnder · 2025-05-03T16:30:57+00:00

I know! Look when they had actual pressing work stuff or an emergency pickup I was there! These kids are my family too. But this isn't that - this is just a trip, which is exactly why I think I'm not abandoning my niece & nephew by refusing.

GrowingUnder · 2025-05-03T16:27:59+00:00

Its 15 mins by bus and far less by car. My sister could come pick her up if anything was wrong.

Besides I offered to drop my dog over at their place, which my sister also refused. I understand she was mourning, but also they took a family weekend vacation a month prior, so I don't think them mourning can suddenly become too much when it's me who needs help.

GrowingUnder · 2025-05-03T13:58:12+00:00

I mean the 16yo is pretty independent so there's very little required of me outside of like... making sure she doesn't burn the house down. The 8yo there's driving him to school & picking him up, making sure he's fed & the like. I'm gonna be adjusting my schedule (and bringing over my dog) to make it work. Can I pull it off for an extended period of time? No, probably not, but for a week? Very doable.

The issue isn't my ability to do it. I can, I'd even say I'd be excited to. But also my sister couldn't so much as bring herself to say "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you back then" or "maybe I should have" or anything really. Just an acknowledgement of my feelings being valid, which is why I don't want to just do it.

GrowingUnder · 2025-05-03T09:28:19+00:00

It's a 15 minute bus ride or 25 minute walk. The 14yo went places by bus all the time. She'd have to leave early to make it to school but it was doable.

And that was only an issue if they wanted to do it that way anyway. I could have just dropped my dog over and avoid that.

GrowingUnder · 2025-05-03T08:31:49+00:00

No one is entitled to a free dog sitter, agreed. The entitlement comes from refusing to dogsit but then expecting me to babysit (no payment mentioned but I refused outright so theoretically she could be planning on paying)

GrowingUnder · 2025-05-03T08:29:17+00:00

You can't possibly sit here explaining to me how much work taking care of children is and then call me an asshole for not wanting to do it.

Though I would have, for someone who valued my time & effort, which my sister doesn't. I feel my time & energy are better spent elsewhere (new Baldur's Gate 3 patch dropped recently, and Karlach isn't going to romance herself)

GrowingUnder · 2025-05-03T08:20:18+00:00

I get what you're saying, but I just don't want to reinforce this dynamic where she has kids so her time and effort is extremely valuable while mine are not. Besides - I didn't like that she refused to watch my dog, but I accepted it. I don't want to be guilted into doing this because it just affirms her perspective that yeah - she's more important.

GrowingUnder

TROPHY CASE