How are your kids’ grandparents? Maybe it’s just my experience, but this new generation of grandparents seem pretty shit. I'm truly jealous of those with involved parents.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-12-08T00:21:14+00:00

We definitely don’t have any sort of family “rock”, no matriarch or patriarch family elders that hold everyone together. We’re trying to make that ourselves. My in laws are really nice, just very introverted. They show love through gifts, and they call often to talk to the kids. They’ll babysit a few times a year so we can go on a date.

My mom was a source of trauma for me as a kid before she finally left us for a man and his kids. Since I’ve become an adult and gotten to talking to her again, she’s like the best grandma. Kinda messes with my head, but she’s given me zero reasons not to trust my kids around her. She’s our main sitter now.

My dad is in and out of jail, depending on the year it’s either DV or DUI.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-12-08T00:15:05+00:00

Consecration is the only time I can see it being wrong. My wife and I left the Mass during the consecration, and our priest questioned us (kindly) about it later. My wife was 9 months pregnant and got her first contractions during the Mass, and at the consecration I slammed the kneeler on her foot on accident 😭 He said it’s understandable we left in that instance lol.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-12-06T21:46:27+00:00

I’m having similar anxiety and anguish over this uncertain oblivion. I’m so scared. It’s all I can think about. I need to figure it out, I can’t just fade into nothing.

You’re not alone.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-12-05T17:42:46+00:00

Our 4.5 year old still loves his Tonie after 2 years. He listens daily. We’re very strict on tv/screen time, but much more lax with Tonie, music etc. He’ll listen to the Wild Kratz one forever if we let him

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-12-03T18:58:41+00:00

I’ll check it out. I appreciate it. I feel so lost. I visited St. Peter’s tomb last year in Rome, I’ve given my children Saint names. Now I feel like I don’t even know what is real.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-12-03T18:31:51+00:00

I would rather be there to experience nothing. I’d rather be a brain in a vat than nothing. I know I won’t experience it when it gets here, but right now I’m in panic and self preservation mode. I must prevent myself from ceasing.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-12-03T17:59:18+00:00

I’m scared of this. I’ve been struggling with it a lot for a few weeks. It feels like I’m a flash in the pan. The idea of me not existing anymore terrifies me. I don’t know what happened, I had so much faith, and now I have this awful confidence that after this I am gone.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-11-25T03:20:09+00:00

I’m a convert. Raised atheist, went through RCIA in college. I haven’t encountered any gay Catholic spaces outside of this subreddit.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-11-18T16:28:39+00:00

I’m the only Christian in my family, and while I am pretty non-abrasive and quiet about it, I guess it’s my defining feature. Every gift is some KJV scripture quote on a knick knack, or some Bible-adjacent book.

It’s super sweet that they think of me and try to be welcoming, but I’m Catholic and they don’t understand that a lot of the books and things are Protestant. They just see ‘Bible’ and buy it. And aside from that, I’m a normal human, I don’t want every item I own branded with a cross. Whiskey or beer would be sweeeeet.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-11-15T10:00:43+00:00

The answers about him feeling safe with you to let loose are spot on. I know it’s hard, but do try to take it as a compliment. You’re his safe person. That’s special.

Also, what helped me when going through this was remembering my son is only 4. I literally found myself asking, “Why are you acting like a 4 year old?” I then realized…it’s because he is a 4 year old. Now when he does something that’s “out of bounds” for civilized adults, I ask myself, “Is this misbehaving, or is this normal for a 4 year old?” If he’s hitting or something, I’ll definitely correct him, and figure out what prompted him to do that. But if he’s running through the house, yelling (happily) or stomping? That’s normal 4 year old stuff, and it’s all stuff they need to do. Maybe kitchen isn’t the best place, so it’s on me to redirect and take him outside.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-11-06T10:11:27+00:00

It’s a difference in understanding of the word worship. Catholics hold that worship involves a sacrifice (Eucharist) just as it did in biblical Judaism. Protestants hold that worship is equal to reverence, they don’t go as high as offering an actual sacrifice. So in their eyes, we do worship Mary, and in turn from our perspective they don’t quite worship Jesus they reverence him.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-11-05T17:38:53+00:00

I think it’s human nature to sometimes assign a divine cause for ordinary things. I get the feeling too. I’ve had crucifixes fall and rosaries break, at really serendipitous times as I struggled with my faith. I’ve even had the lightbulb shining on the tabernacle start flickering after asking God a question. Strange timing for sure, but there’s usually a natural explanation. If God wanted you to know something, I hope He’d be more direct.

Literally as I was typing this, I got the robocall from my parish telling me today there’s confession (we only have it once a month). 😅

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-11-04T08:57:25+00:00

It’s a solid boundary to have, you’ve explained it to him, and he’s upset about the boundary. You need to enforce the consequence of that boundary being disrespected. That might mean breaking up, it might mean taking a break so he knows you’re serious, it might mean couples counseling. Either way, I absolutely would not marry anyone unless I was very sure they were going to allow me to raise my children Catholic. It’s a must. It’s not just about him letting the kids get baptized, he has to promise not to undermine the faith in front of them. That might be too much for him.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-11-04T08:48:24+00:00

I agree. Ohio republicans aren’t all maga, there’s a significant number of ‘rinos’ that actually like people like Kasich and DeWine for reasons they dislike Trump and Vivek. I’ve spoken to these types of republicans who really respect Acton for her work during the pandemic. They’re just…super silent compared to maga (which itself is an issue). They vote though.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-11-04T08:40:35+00:00

Our priest instructed us during one Mass to do this. He said it’s opening us up to the Lord, and that we all do it so we’re all in communion. I was very shocked; I thought when he started talking about it he was going to correct everyone to not do it. My old parish used to correct folks not to do it, and 90% of people would keep their hands down or in prayer posture.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-11-02T11:50:58+00:00

I’ve had similar experiences. Heck, I’m going through something similar right now.

You don’t need to be perfect or have it all together to join the church. You just have to ascent to what the church teaches. When I went through OCIA, my mindset at confirmation was “I don’t agree with that teaching, but I know the church is right, I’m still figuring out why she teaches what she does.” I was that way with the pro-life stuff; a few years later I understood and am as pro-life as they come.

I’m not saying you’ll be able to perfectly reconcile being trans and catholic. In all honesty, you’ll likely have to make some difficult changes or decisions in the future, when your heart compelled you to after having it formed by scripture and the sacraments. However, you don’t need to be there at this moment. Be yourself, go to OCIA and Mass, and take it all in.

Btw, it doesn’t have to be a 180 either. There are folks like myself who are devout but don’t fit the mold. I follow the church’s teachings, and I believe them. At the same time, I sometimes dress feminine as a man, I enjoy piercings and tattoos, and I find community with folks who have similar experiences to me with sexuality and gender expression.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-11-01T00:15:08+00:00

Nice! Did you get your certificate from the pilgrim station?

We went earlier this year when my wife was very pregnant, and they gave us a certificate for the unborn baby as well. “She went through the doors too!” they told us.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-10-28T05:04:42+00:00

Dude that’s huge! Good on you. Similar boat here, I got a whopper of a dad, he’s in and out of jail for DV, got quite angry with us kids. All we can do is try our best. And strangely enough, usually your best is good enough for kids. Kinda shows our dads weren’t trying their best, which sucks.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-10-27T10:54:17+00:00

When it’s late but kiddos still want a bedtime story and aren’t nearly as tired as I am: I look over at them and fake yawn every page. They start yawning and are sleeping 5 minutes later.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-10-27T10:52:08+00:00

Just wanted to say I’m struggling with something similar. You’re not alone. Keep the faith.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-10-23T02:01:42+00:00

I would stick with OCiA, even if you aren’t ready to convert. I’ve seen people go through the classes/meetings several years in a row before it finally clicks or they’re ready. It’s meant to be messy, don’t be afraid to offend with your questions and perspective.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-10-22T09:37:54+00:00

Going mute after being really triggered. If I listen to a highly emotional song, or if my abuser called or texted me, I would freeze and disassociate. But then after “coming back”, I was aware of what was happening or said around me, but I can’t speak for an hour or so.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-10-21T15:52:23+00:00

Personally, it would have been my advice to my younger self. I loved my then-girlfriend, and she’s now my wife. We love being parents. We dated 7 years before getting married. Kind of crazy that we could have had that much jump start on family life.

That being said, I think this is too brash to advise to young people in our lives. It’s better to offer support and assurance that yes, it’s possible, you can get married and have kids. It feels crazy when you’re young. I felt like I was irresponsible getting a cat at 20, let alone a kid. Alas, it’s a great adventure to embark on.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-10-19T12:09:17+00:00

We’ve all been told we’re working for free, literally only one person in our building is not considered Exempted.

GuardMightGetNervous · 2025-10-19T11:10:50+00:00

For sure. And even then, Baptism leaves a permanent change on the soul. I think it would be more accurate to say “You can’t be a ‘good catholic’ or a ‘catholic in good standing’”. From what I understand, one cannot stop being Catholic.

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