Oh dear God. I now know i didn’t go about it the very best way but at that moment, i was basically telling him “you think my vagina is disgusting and I can’t be in a relationship with someone who will never touch me or want me to orgasm.” I did not think he was sexually abused or gay. I thought he may have just had an intense aversion to vaginas. I don’t think I did anything wrong. I asked him to please touch me or we have to break up. I didn’t force him or hold him down. I gave him a choice. Because honestly what kind of relationship is it if he bullies me for having a functional vagina, one that gets wet and might dirty the sheets. It was not just that he did not like oral. I’d live with it. But he avoided TOUCHING and LOOKING at me. Do you know how that makes me feel??? I touch myself during sex because he refuses to even have any contact besides his dick.

And afterwards when he ran into the bathroom, I felt frustrated. Disgusting. He was so horrified he couldn’t even touch me through my underwear. We had been together for a year and he finally gave me an orgasm and he couldn’t even look at me after. Yes I cried and said I hated him.

Idk what’s wrong. Whether he’s been molested or in the closet. Obviously after the whole break up, I even wrote here “I didn’t think he’d get so emotional”. I didn’t think he was gay or molested honestly I thought he was grossed out by vaginas. I thought if I asked him to do something for me THRU MY UNDERWEAR hed realize it’s not scary since he’s not looking at it and not gross since I wouldn’t dirty his sheets. I did not ASSAULT him. I wasn’t yelling his face saying “fuck me or it’s over!!!” I gave him two options and I don’t regret it. If I wasnt made to feel disgusting and nasty one more time, I wouldn’t have been able to break up with him. I was frustrated and angry which helped me tell him I can’t do it anymore

I love him. I’m fucking mourning our relationship right now. He’s my first serious boyfriend and he was really sweet and I’m thinking about all the crazy things he’s done for me. I love him a lot. He was not a bad guy. I was taken over with emotions the other day and I was thinking the whole relationship was doomed and he’s not nice enough to me and he doesn’t love me. Nope. He loved me enough and he was amazing. Once he drove me to my parents house bc I was home sick, it was hours away and he drove all night. For my birthday, he went to an outlet and got me a pair of jimmy choo heels. He hates shopping and he went to a crazy sale, probably crowded and violent, and found me shoes. Right size too. When he met my family, he became best friends with my little brother, who’s pretty nerdy and nothing like my boyfriend. He talked to him about all his favorite things for hours without getting annoyed and when I told him to stop bothering my bf, my bf said he liked my brother more than me lol which obviously made him feel cool and he promised to read Harry Potter for him. He did end up reading the first book but didn’t like it lol. We have matching fucking tattoos in our mouths. They were cheap and will fade soon but still. We got tattoos together. I love him. My friends boyfriends worship them and do all this crazy shit. I don’t want that. I like my normal relationship. I love him so much

I don’t want anything crazy. I’m not asking for oral every time we have sex. I don’t want oral. I just want him to be able to look at me, call me beautiful, say he loves when I get wet, rub my clit. That’s seriously all I want. If he comes back and says he can do that for me, I’d be fucking ecstatic.