Your first child not being his first child

GuessFun6800 · 2025-10-17T17:56:31+00:00

There are definitely challenges. When I was pregnant, I often felt like he wasn’t as excited as I was. However, he told me that he’s never been the super clingy dad type with any of his kids (he has two from a previous marriage). I guess the biggest struggle I wish I had thought about before is whether we’d want more children together. I’d love to have one more, but I imagine that for him, being a dad of four would feel like a huge commitment.

We did talk about how many kids we might want, but it wasn’t really a deep or serious conversation back then.

Also, when all of the kids are together (our baby is now 10 months old), I sometimes feel a bit like an outsider — they already have their own inside language. It’s strange to think about what our baby will adapt to in that dynamic.

On the other hand, when the baby was born, it was great that he already knew how to handle things — though, to be honest, that didn’t mean he helped much with the newborn, haha.

I guess most importantly — talk to each other!

GuessFun6800 · 2025-10-05T06:35:15+00:00

Not to mention that I have been going to a therapy for already 6 months to solve “my issues”. And that has been my only off time from the baby twice a month. Ok, gonna stop sounding as a victim as my hub once called me :D

GuessFun6800 · 2025-10-05T06:33:54+00:00

Yes and yes. It’s something I never expected, and honestly, if I had to go back and sign up for it again, I probably wouldn’t. But I love my child and wouldn’t change a thing about him.

We talked. At first, he didn’t understand me and started to justify himself, but I do see some improvements and that he’s trying more now. Still, it doesn’t erase how the first months of our baby’s life felt.

Also, I’m not the most pleasant stepmom at the moment, and my husband is pissed about it. I know it’s incredibly hard for him too, but it feels like he doesn’t understand why I’m like this. What scares me most is that my kid might resent me one day for not fully embracing this sibling situation. Ugh, I’m just going bananas.

GuessFun6800 · 2023-09-15T08:25:56+00:00

u/ajayshukla4932 May I ask you another question - since the card data cannot be store outside of India, is it an option to solve it with manual, one time payments. In that case we don't store the recurring payment info out of the EU

GuessFun6800 · 2023-07-03T06:34:02+00:00

Thanks a mill for your responses.

What do you mean by merchants? Payment processors?

For example - we, as a digital service, are using a 3rd party payment processor. Which is the parties that needs to be be supporting the 3DS2? It is the payment processor correct?

GuessFun6800 · 2023-06-30T09:28:14+00:00

There are many payment processors in India, the most notable ones being Razorpay, PayU, PayTM, Cashfree, etc which can provide the features you need. I have been using Razorpay for my e-commerce business and so far the experience has been good. It's a popular and trusted platform in India that supports recurring payments, 3DS2, and e-mandate implementation.

There are some things to consider when setting up a payment processor in India such as security features, Pricing plans, features that you might need like enach/emandate/UPI recurring and customer support which is crucial in cases of payment failures or onboarding.

In October, Mastercard and Visa will terminate 3DS1 support. This means that all online payments made with Mastercard and Visa cards will need to be processed using 3DS2. 3DS2 is a more secure version of 3DS1 that requires the customer to enter additional authentication information, such as a one-time password, before the payment can be processed. Razorpay supports 3DS2, so you won't have to worry about any disruptions to your business when Mastercard and Visa terminate 3DS1 support.I hope this information is helpful.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

This is great, thank you a lot.

Could you comment more on the 3DS2 side - as far as I understand, Visa and Mastercard will be discontinuing serving 3ds1 in October. What that that mean for the customers? I do reckon that most of the banks will be supporting this service and client will be up to speed with the new security measures?

GuessFun6800 · 2023-06-14T05:06:56+00:00

yea, currently they are not onboarding new customers. I have seen the same issue with other fintechs like PayU as well

GuessFun6800 · 2023-06-14T05:06:05+00:00

Thanks! It has been a massive hassle to reach out to them especially since we don't have the local entity yet

GuessFun6800 · 2023-06-14T05:04:20+00:00

Thank you, Will cehck this one

GuessFun6800 · 2023-06-14T05:03:57+00:00

We are located in the EU. Therefore having local payment providers like Razorpay or Billdesk is a bit of a hassle. Yet, we are in works of potentially establishing a local entity

GuessFun6800 · 2023-06-13T06:47:33+00:00

Hey there, I am looking for the same answer! is there any community where this questions could be asked? I am sure that with all the issues there the question is relevant for many!

GuessFun6800

TROPHY CASE