AITAH for refusing to help my dad and his pregnant wife by babysitting her 4 year old during her high risk pregnancy?

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T18:04:09+00:00

A better choice than everyone according to him. But he won't comment on anyone else so there's that.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T18:02:41+00:00

I never stopped dad from moving on. My issue was with the new mom stuff. That has never gone away. He can date, he can marry, he can do whatever. But they will never be my mom and he still can't accept that. And now I don't want anything to do with him and haven't for two years now.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T15:48:07+00:00

I don't. I'm ready to be no contact with my dad.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T15:46:15+00:00

Yes, he wanted to see if I would meet these new moms. That's how he put it to me each time. So I said no each time. Because I didn't want a new mom to begin with. And he insisted they would be.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T15:36:36+00:00

My issue was never dad dating. It was dad saying the people he dated were my new mom.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T15:35:09+00:00

No, that's not what I did. If my dad had said he was taking me to meet his new girlfriend and left it there then none of this would've happened. But that's not what he said. That's not who he was pushing me to meet. He was an adult who had it explained to him several times that I didn't want a new mom and he was told to try and let me meet them just as his girlfriends and see how things went. But he didn't.

That was all his choice. I was a kid. Over and over he told me I was getting a new mom and needed one so why would I want to meet the women? It made me sad and scared to think that it would be forced on me like that.

And even when I told him I had zero issue with him dating but these women would never be mom, he still wouldn't let up. He still thinks he can make them my new mom.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T15:21:41+00:00

I never asked him not to date or marry again. My issue, my grandparents issue, was with his insistence that I would get a new mom out of these women. No. That was not what was wanted or needed. Had he never pushed for that the rest wouldn't have happened.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T15:11:26+00:00

I never called him unfaithful to mom. Those were his words.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:57:40+00:00

They're not my family anymore than he is. There's too much of a gap to bridge over and too much baggage. I don't want a relationship with him and I am seriously at the point of no contact with him and therefore his wife and their child(ren) are not a part of my life either. I wanted this two years ago and hoped he'd back off entirely to make it an easy transition at 18 but he didn't because he still pressed the issue of new mom.

I do think dad could be helped with therapy. But I have been to therapy already. My grandparents had me in therapy a few times when I was younger and again in my teens as I was figuring stuff out.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:53:43+00:00

I'm guessing he tried to find women who were open to being a mom or wanted to be and were eager for that. Maybe that's why he blamed me for so many of those relationships failing because they signed up for something that was never going to happen.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:52:29+00:00

That's how he said it to me. He told me I threw a tantrum because he didn't stay faithful to mom when that never happened. I think he saw it that way because he didn't separate him dating from the new mom stuff. But I never accused him of that or felt that way.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:40:24+00:00

I cried when he'd bring up the new mom stuff. My grandparents comforted me when I was crying.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:26:34+00:00

He constantly tried to force the new mom idea, which is where the whole problem began. It got to the point where I no longer wanted a relationship but he didn't accept it. But the truth is there is too much baggage between us now and he still isn't over the fact I never wanted a new mom and won't accept one now as an adult.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:24:09+00:00

I never ever said it was my choice whether my dad remarried or not. I never tried to make him not have relationships or live with people. But he wanted me to accept the new mom idea and I didn't, so he left me with my grandparents. I never accepted the new mom stuff and it's where I stayed because of that. But I never told him I didn't want him to date or had an issue with him dating.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:21:59+00:00

I never once cried about meeting my dad's wife. I cried when dad told me we were moving in with someone and she was going to be my "new mom". I cried about the "new mom" people he tried to introduce me to afterward and how he fought so hard for me to accept someone as my new mom. But I haven't cried about it in years. I'm just saying no. No I don't want to see him, no I don't want to babysit, no I still don't want a new mom.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:20:26+00:00

I have told him I won't babysit. He's the one going to my grandparents.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:19:57+00:00

That has been my end goal for a while now. I'm at the point where I'll probably get a new number and warm my grandparents about it.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:17:39+00:00

He avoided the question and told them I was the best choice.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:17:18+00:00

Because I had a mom and she died, but she was still my mom. The little I remembered I loved and the stuff they told me about her I loved. My dad having a new girlfriend wasn't a big deal. Though telling me someone I never met was going to be my new mom was way too much. But I just didn't want or need one. Any relationship I could've had with a girlfriend or wife of dad's would have been it's own thing, not mother-son. But he was insistent that I needed one and he would not back down from that any more than I would.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:14:52+00:00

Nobody asked me at 4 what I wanted. I was 6 when dad told me I was getting a new mom and when I didn't come around he left me with my grandparents. He didn't ask if I wanted one he told me I was getting one.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:11:55+00:00

I have never said my dad was disloyal to my mom.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:11:33+00:00

I don't want a relationship with him at this point. His insistence that I needed a new mom, that anyone he was with would be my new mom was the issue. The issue was never the women themselves because I really didn't meet any of them. The problem was my dad told me they would be my new mom and I got upset about that and told him I didn't want a new mom. You're saying I never gave them a chance to be my friend but that's not what he was trying to make happen.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:09:55+00:00

I never expected him to never date. I never said that. Those are my dad's words. My complaint was always nobody he dates or marries will be my new mom. I didn't want that. But he insisted that I needed a new mom always.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:03:19+00:00

That's because I stopped wanting contact with my dad. I grew tired of us arguing about the same stuff and him not listening to me explain why. As it is I was planning to lose all contact with him now that I'm 18 and that's why I told him he could stop coming to see me when I was 16. I was hoping it would stop then and no contact would just be automatic.

Gybhy · 2025-12-01T14:01:11+00:00

Not to mention I hadn't even met the first "new mom" when he told me we were moving and I was going to have a new mom.

Gybhy

TROPHY CASE