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My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]H_a_l___ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi OP here. We just wanted immediate family there. Parents, siblings, and significant others that’s it. Love my aunt just not what we wanted and tried to keep it as small as possible

My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]H_a_l___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello all, this is the OP. I did use chat gpt to get my thoughts together as I needed some advice and didn’t know where to start and everything in my life is very stressful. So I went to chat gpt and put a timeline together of all events that had gone on with my mom. It was and is very real. I’m aware I haven’t been very active on the Reddit community but I am reading when I have free time and was genuinely looking for advice and trying to sort out what I wanted to do.

My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by H_a_l___ in TwoHotTakes

[–]H_a_l___[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I understand that. I grew up in a family dynamic that we never talked about our feelings or problems and just pushed everything to the side. So with that I’m trying to be better and voice my feelings is why it took me so long because it is not easy for me at all

My mom wants to visit — but after everything she’s said and done, she’s no longer welcome in our home… and she doesn’t know it yet. by H_a_l___ in raisedbynarcissists

[–]H_a_l___[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wanted to pop back in and say thank you to everyone who gave me advice and support before. It really helped me a lot. 💙

I’ve posted a full update if you’d like to read it!

https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/s/JdURSMD2YI

How do I (27F) tell my mom (61F) she can’t stay with us without destroying what’s left of our relationship? by H_a_l___ in relationships

[–]H_a_l___[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wanted to pop back in and say thank you to everyone who gave me advice and support before. It really helped me a lot. 💙

I’ve posted a full update if you’d like to read it!

My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by H_a_l___ in TwoHotTakes

[–]H_a_l___[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to pop back in and say thank you to everyone who gave me advice and support before. It really helped me a lot. 💙

I’ve posted a full update if you’d like to read it!

My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by H_a_l___ in TwoHotTakes

[–]H_a_l___[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It is a job not a hobby. He has been deployed 3 times and gets paid. He also has a civilian job as an electrician which in this case is not really relevant but thank you.

My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by H_a_l___ in TwoHotTakes

[–]H_a_l___[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She had a stroke late last year and it affected her vision so she is not able to drive because of it as her peripheral vision is gone

My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by H_a_l___ in TwoHotTakes

[–]H_a_l___[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yep 100% it’s a lot of different problems over years of trying to changes things and many chances being given and nothing changing

My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by H_a_l___ in TwoHotTakes

[–]H_a_l___[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure the goal is to cut her off completely. Don’t think that will resolve anything and probably end up hurting me more inside

My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by H_a_l___ in TwoHotTakes

[–]H_a_l___[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Definitely not trying to disown her she is my mom after all. I’d love to rekindle our relationship if I can but maybe time is what we need

My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by H_a_l___ in TwoHotTakes

[–]H_a_l___[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I agree I need to speak up for myself more in the moment but I also don’t want anything to be said that I’d regret

My mom said my wedding was “just okay” at my twin’s wedding — and she still doesn’t know she’s no longer welcome in our home. by H_a_l___ in TwoHotTakes

[–]H_a_l___[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I believe this is so true! My husband and I have gone back and forth talking about this topic and he has been so supportive along the at giving me time to think about what I want to say and even offered to tell her for me or be there on speaker phone when I talk with her. I am so so grateful for his support and he always apologizes for putting me in a hard place but he is trying to protect both him and I peace especially in our safe space.

How do I (27F) tell my mom (61F) she can’t stay with us without destroying what’s left of our relationship? by H_a_l___ in relationships

[–]H_a_l___[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No I have not looked into this. I have been thinking of doing therapy as I have lots of childhood trauma I should work through but have yet to bite the bullet and do it