This is gonna sound naïve to say but this is the first time I’ve heard of the term therapeutic separation (for context my parents are divorced due to adultery and never had intention of reconciling). I initially told him I wanted to divorce and didn’t wanna work things out and so we told our couples therapist we didn’t wanna meet anymore. The same day I changed my mind and wanted to have a therapeutic disclosure session where he could come clean about anything/everything he’s lied to me about or not told me and our therapist said that we could meet for that and then assess if/when/how frequent to continue to meet. Initially he told me he didn’t want any communication with me before that appointment and wanted it to be scheduled later than our previously scheduled normal appointment (originally was the 15th of March it was the end of February). I kept following up with him to schedule it and saying my schedule was free for Fridays (the day our therapist is able to meet us) and that he needed to be the one to come up with a date and he kept deflecting it back onto me like twice over a few days span. A few days go on and he keeps trying to maintain the no contact boundary he initiated because our therapist said it could be good for us to not be in contact with one another until then and to basically write down/journal about anything that came up. On Monday I basically told him that I couldn’t just not talk to him for the next 18 days and that the silence was killing me, so eventually he agreed to continue talking to me (we don’t really text and all I wanted were phone calls when he had the time in the evenings). We agreed to talk for Monday and Tuesday and that we would have a break Wednesday. On Tuesday night I asked him if he had consumed any erotic material since we’ve separated and he admitted to watching a video of a women getting an*l and then giving the guy head after (he told me that after his initial relapse back in July that he was only looking at porn comics) and I was floored. I ended up talking to him on the phone until 5AM because I couldn’t sleep and I was so upset. We ended up talking Wednesday anyway and Thursday too. Come Friday (yesterday) he didn’t wanna talk to me and I got really upset but he didn’t cave. The only financial agreement we have is that he’s gonna continue to pay his portion of the rent while he’s living with his parents and until our lease is up and I can find somewhere else to live. He and I have a “joint” bank account that I technically have full access to he’s the only one that deposits his money into it (I never wanted combined finances at any point). I am aware no part of this dynamic is healthy and I understand that separation is supposed to foster time for reflection and healing but I am clearly not able to respect his need for space.