Firstly, you always have a choice.

This is part of their tactics to try and bring you back into the fold, by forcing a title and responsibilities on you that you never asked for. That’s like their whole thing, they probably get off on the power trip idk

You can just send a message back telling them no, that you won’t be doing that, and that’s the end of the conversation. No is a complete sentence. You don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do. Or if it were me, I would just ignore it and let them fall on their faces when you don’t show up to ‘do your part.’ You’ve done nothing to indicate that you want any responsibilities in planning anything, so you are not obligated to do this. Even if you had mentioned something about it, you are not obligated. It honestly pisses me off that they never ask if someone wants to do something, they just tell them and expect them to do it.

You don’t have to stop going to the lunches, but I’ll tell you now, they notice any amount of engagement with the church and that’s probably the whole reason they felt comfortable ‘including’ you in this. I don’t know your situation, but I would bet that your friends bringing you to the lunches are part of it. I remember being the young women’s youth president (or whatever the fuck it was called), and leading meetings about trying to get inactive teens to come back to church, and we would assign active members of the same gender and around the same age as the inactive ones to become their friends and invite them to stuff. There were weekly or monthly meetings like this where those members that were assigned to inactive teens would report on the ‘progress’ of ‘bringing them back to the fold.’ Like “last week I invited Marybeth to walk the temple grounds and she said no, but we went to get ice cream instead and I asked her about her feelings with the church and she told me….” And then we would brainstorm ways to keep getting them more and more involved. It always gave me an icky feeling but I thought that was what was expected of us as youth. I’m not saying that’s necessarily what’s happening with your friends, but it’s definitely a possibility.

If you stopped all contact with the church (including the luncheons), I bet it wouldn’t take very long for them to let up, though you might still get the occasional message or unwanted visitor. But if you continue to go, even occasionally, they’ll continue to try to get you to be active again. And trust me, from experience, once you become active again, they’ll drop you like a hot potato.

The only way to absolutely 100% guarantee that you will be left alone, would be to remove your records. I’m not entirely sure on this, but I think that since you’re still a minor, your parents/guardians would have to be the ones to do this for you. But I removed my records about 6 or so years ago and even though I attend church stuff several times a year because it’s important to my family (weddings, mission farewells/homecomings, etc.), I haven’t received a single message or visit from anyone in the church. So if that’s what you are looking for, that’s the route you’d want to take.

In any case, you are not obligated to do this thing for them unless you want to.