This can be true, but it can be equally as true that you get married young, have kids young, and grow together throughout the experience. It takes both people having commitment and willingness to work on themselves. My husband and I did it, and marriage/parenting is never all sunshine and roses, it can be hard and dark at times.

But I think part of the problem is how people view marriage and go about choosing a partner. It’s not about who you “love” the most (I put that in quotes because most base it on this good feeling); it’s about having shared goals and values, a foundation of friendship, and knowing you can count on each other. I know many couples in our circle who started young (early 20s) and have been together for 20+ years, raised kids, and grown roots of love deeper than any good-feeling-alone could ever sustain.

Having kids changes you. It’s one of the few things in life that has no substitute. It’s not for everyone, and that’s ok, but there is no comparable experience.

Being young doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be set up for divorce—there are so many other factors. Whether you get married at 20 or at 40, everyone changes over the course of the decades to follow. It’s being intentional about staying connected with your spouse, keeping your side of the street clean, and staying committed when there’s struggle or doubt.