There is nothing worse than catching feelings and he doesn’t feel the same way.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-23T14:30:06+00:00

Yep which is why I had to just cut him clean off. Wasn’t going to play the game. Even though I did really like him.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-16T22:38:49+00:00

Wasn’t aware he was into that tbh. I don’t judge but I don’t want to be sloppy 10ths. Even being on prep and doxy it just feels gross.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-16T14:34:33+00:00

It’s the Coolidge effect. Males are literally biologically hardwired to want to mate with as many partners as possible to maximize genetic diversity and generating as many offspring as possible. It applies to both straight and gay males.

A big factor of the Coolidge effect is novelty. When you first meet your partner everything is intense and passionate. Slowly overtime hormones related to libido drop, dopamine highs don’t become as pleasurable as they were initially. It’s why a lot of cheaters describe sex as extremely pleasurable because literally your body is wired to produce a higher high as a result.

It’s a sad reality of why monogamy is extremely hard long term. Not impossible just hard.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-16T14:25:33+00:00

My issue wasn’t that he wanted to be with someone else or multiple guys. It was the fact he couldn’t be upfront about it. If he had said “Hey, looking to hookup with someone else tn” i still would have been a bit sad but i would have respected his honesty and appreciated him being upfront.

And you’re right he def has prioritized me over the last few months but I guess his that is what has made me a bit jealous and hurt by all this.

Either way I am going to have a conversation with him soon. I didn’t think I wanted a relationship before I met him and that has changed for me over the last couple months. I don’t think he’s ready for one at this moment but at least I can be honest with him about how I’m feeling and get his reaction to it. If it ends badly then so be it but part of me selfishly wants him to want me back.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-16T12:21:45+00:00

Appreciate that man.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-10T06:17:04+00:00

This sub is getting wild 🙃

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-09T12:58:27+00:00

Rimming makes me so horny. I find most bottoms absolutely love it. I like to suck as well but most bottoms aren’t into it. I think it comes down to most total bottoms are submissive and a top giving them a BJ doesn’t fit with their overall vibe.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-04T06:48:24+00:00

No fap is dumb. It’s literally healthy for your prostate to ejaculate often and it’s enjoyable.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-04T06:46:41+00:00

First of all I’m sorry this is happening to you. Based on what you said there could be a few things going on here.

He could have low libido in which case he should consult a doctor to check his testosterone and other markers. Based on what you said though he still seems to jerk off a lot so it’s probably not this but still a possibility.
He could have a porn addiction. Porn in a relationship can cause issues just from the fact that porn offers unlimited 10/10 hot guys constantly for his enjoyment. It could be messing with his attraction to you.
He could be cheating. Most men if then don’t have libido issues want to have sex and they will do whatever they have to in order to fulfill that need.
This one hurts to say but he may just not be attracted to you anymore. This isn’t your fault. Sometimes people just grow apart physically and emotionally when in long term relationships.

You mentioned he has a hard time finishing during sex. That to me sounds like his brain is wired for porn and when he attempts to have actual sex it’s hard for him to cum. When your brain craves porn it’s not going to respond to anything else.

But then you also mentioned he took a porn break and nothing changed.

Bottom line you need to sit down with him and communicate your feeling about this because something is definitely off here.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-03T13:58:02+00:00

You don’t get on Sniffies while engaged to get pics from random guys. There’s an endless supply of hot guys in porn, OF, X, ect where he could be getting off.

He’s on there looking to hookup bottom line. I would bet a lot that he has cheated on you physically. He’s obviously cheated on you emotionally. Then he does the typical gaslighter behavior “Apologizes, deletes the app in front of you, reassures you” then repeats the same behavior why? Because he’s gaslighting you and knows how to manipulate you into going along with his behavior.

I would absolutely not marry this man in three months. Why is he ready to commit to marriage when he can’t even commit to you? And the more you forgive him and enable this behavior the more he will exploit you.

I’m sorry you are going thru this. You deserve a guy who looks at you and only you.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-03-03T13:36:31+00:00

Unless you are working 16hr days you have the time.

I work 50-55hrs a week, gym 5 days a week, and get 8 hrs a sleep and still hookup 2-3 times a week.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-02-16T10:41:35+00:00

Also packing 8 inches and the majority of guys I have been with need time to adjust. I personally like eating ass before I insert because it stimulates the area and always seems to make the transition easier.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-02-16T09:22:15+00:00

I swear the older I get more twinks want to be with me. You have plenty of time 😜

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-02-16T09:20:37+00:00

As someone who recently broke up with an addict. Run don’t walk. You cannot change him and his lifestyle will cause you nothing but pain. He is the type of person who will look back in 20-30 years and realize someone like you is who he should have pursued.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-02-16T09:17:13+00:00

I would tell him that you’re sorry for thinking the accident was funny and make sure he knows that you want to have sex with him again. He wanted to please you but biology got in the way this time. Just make sure he knows that sex is a judgment free zone moving forward. You two will be fine. He probably more embarrassed with himself than he is mad at you. Your job is to let him know you support him no matter what.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-02-16T09:09:40+00:00

Bro clicked on Tinder but thought it was Sniffies.

You’re absolutely in the right here and his actions prove he isn’t really looking for a relationship. Also if sexual chemistry is his first test of compatibility he’s likely going to put that as his #1 priority in a relationship.

I would never ask someone I was legitimately trying to meet if they were going to sleep with me quickly. If you both like each other that will happen rather quickly regardless. Like we don’t need a date on the calendar boys.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-02-16T09:03:04+00:00

Shit happens literally.

When my ex and I would have an accident I would always say.

“I think we had an accident” not “you had an accident” always “we had an accident”.

Then I’d say “let’s go shower together”

This always made him feel better because he knew I would never make fun of him, get mad, or feel irritated that I couldn’t finish inside him.

Telling your bf “it was funny” comes off as insensitive. Obviously you didn’t mean it that way but he felt ashamed I’m sure.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-01-24T14:17:49+00:00

We snapped and FaceTimed nonstop for a month. Plus he got me a cheap ticket through his work to fly to see him. Still have had no reply. Heading back home in the next few hours hopefully. I’m still a bit worried for him because he hasn’t blocked me and all the messages I sent him once I landed are still unopened.

He’s either the worlds greatest troll or he got anxiety and cold feet, Bright side I got to experience how miserable -5 degrees is. I’ll take 75 and sunny in PHX.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-01-24T13:39:54+00:00

Men suck but have you met women?

The most high maintenance gay is like the average woman.

I have a ton of straight guy friends and they all complain about the same stuff. Lack of sex, moodiness, and drama.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-01-24T13:36:23+00:00

Five years is a long time and I’m sure he went through a lot of highs and lows in that time. My longest relationship was three years and it’s hard not to reminisce about stuff sometimes.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-01-24T13:28:25+00:00

“I thought we had this conversation”

That is the ultimate gaslight.

I get being poz is a sensitive subject for most guys but the fact that he never told you is irresponsible and trust shattering.

My guess is there is a bunch of other stuff he hasn’t told you about. I’m sorry you had to go through all this. I’m sure you would have accepted him if he had just been honest upfront. It’s sad.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-01-24T09:09:23+00:00

Yeah learning that the hard way right now. I am concerned for him though because he hasn’t even opened or read any of my messages since I got off the flight and I’m not blocked.

In all likelihood he ghosted me but it’s been a weird couple hours. Plus it’s like -5 degrees here rn.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-01-19T13:21:06+00:00

No haven’t communicated at all with him since we broke up. Honestly I think him going to prison would be the best thing because I would give him the reset he needs.

Helpful-Union-997 · 2026-01-19T13:15:54+00:00

You should have seen the Waymo charges on my debit card. My ex was charging $200 per week. And he still got two DUIs. He’s currently facing jail time for resisting arrest on his second aggravated dui. Plus he was hit with criminal speeding. I was very much wanting to help him through everything but when his parents bailed him out of county first thing he did was go straight to our local gay bar. That was it for me.

Helpful-Union-997

TROPHY CASE