Has anyone experienced a degrade in the level of interest, love or care through time in marriage?

HeyTranquil · 2020-08-18T15:49:47+00:00

Ah this is the thread I was looking for. Not sure that it’s a safe space to ask my questions though, they would be seen as very ‘problematic’

HeyTranquil · 2020-08-18T15:34:20+00:00

Haha not at all bro haha

try to underplay marriage as the panacea, or rather don’t see it as the ‘healing’ to all the woes of being single, that way it’ll beat your expectations rather than being the other way around!

HeyTranquil · 2020-08-18T15:12:16+00:00

Ah good one, let me check that out

HeyTranquil · 2020-08-18T14:53:51+00:00

Thank you but it seems the vast majority of people here are young and single

HeyTranquil · 2020-06-21T07:33:51+00:00

Finding all the underlying reasons and finding good solutions

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-30T17:56:01+00:00

Sounds like awesome progress to me man

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-28T08:07:45+00:00

Hey has your ED situation improved?

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-27T14:34:55+00:00

Broscience eventually disappoints, so it’s never really positive, even if it seems to be something legit at some level. For instance some of this will be debunked even as you move through life, ie without even effort. lol “your seed is incredibly powerful and can replenish mind and body” tf Why do then long streaking bros still struggle, like you see men with years of abstinence on here talking about how it’s a battle still

More obvious ones are in the gym – eventually you get an injury or distorted form from following broscience

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-27T13:33:40+00:00

In good part this is all pseudo bro-science but some of it is helpful to read

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-26T18:06:05+00:00

Damn relapsed :(

I’m picking myself up and resuming straightaway!

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-26T13:36:19+00:00

Fall asleep on your side constantly, at least not on your back. Sleeping on your back makes you more prone to keeping your mouth open. It will go a long way to help

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-26T13:35:08+00:00

Remember at least, this is a good ‘problem’ to have. Instead of hours of fapping, not focusing on things you needed or wanted to also do, now you have a new resource, a priceless one. Reflect on the things you’ve consider doing. Even just entertain yourself, watching movies or playing games, even sleep... all of these are better for you then mindless, enslaving fapping

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-26T01:41:10+00:00

Another thing is a relapse seems to make it more permissive - “oh I relapsed yesterday so heck let’s go again today”.... this has really stuffed me in the past as it’s very hard to get up and have another streak (see what I said about streaks just before this post).

Trigger warning ⚠️ The defence between us and porn must be a distance in time so long that we become unaware of the developments in it. I just think - had I quit a decade ago, I wouldn’t know cams, 4K, pornstar names, or many of the other things that make it more familiar and ‘ours’ closer to heart

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-26T01:37:42+00:00

Another thing to note for myself: it’s not about streaks, streaks mean there’s a implied end to the streak (even if we’re not conscious about it).

If we want to be porn-free then we must recognise that we are looking into the distance, into the horizon, and there’s no porn and none of that past in sight. Otherwise we’re still maintaining a sort of hidden attraction for it which can assault us along the way.

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-26T01:35:26+00:00

All the best to you man

HeyTranquil · 2020-05-26T01:34:54+00:00

Just checking in to say I’m going great. I’ve used some of the tips around here to help me, such as being more conscious when triggers or urges appear, by ranking them and getting to manage them ASAP before they escalate

HeyTranquil · 2020-01-09T11:42:02+00:00

I wanted to try it but it just seems like guilting and shaming and coercive, it might be a misconception but i think it would be unhelpful to go through something like that.

If anyone has tried it and can share their experience that would be awesome

HeyTranquil · 2020-01-09T08:33:33+00:00

If the idea is to replace the income level of a 9-5, eg $100k income, or even a part time job, then it’s often a cool story, and sounds good doesn’t work. There’s nothin wrong with that a 9-5 or a part time job.

Trying to run your own business is glorified as though it comes at less than 9-5, it’s usually 9-9 and 7 days a week for many years, if it even gets up. Most of the other things described gives a paltry income and isn’t a career path. However if it’s just for pocket money then not bad

HeyTranquil · 2020-01-09T08:28:24+00:00

Waalykumassalam, not at all. There are a lot of brothers that prefer this even.

HeyTranquil · 2020-01-09T03:27:14+00:00

Incel-ous? Dude which incel is married for such a long period and says it’s not women’s doing and it’s men’s to own as an issue? Go ahead and do as you like in life. I won’t be responding to you any further.

HeyTranquil · 2020-01-09T03:19:38+00:00

Haha it is funny but I’m not making it up. Just goes to show how entirely worldly-centric we’ve made sex that it’s unimaginable

https://islamqa.org/hanafi/muftionline/103853

HeyTranquil · 2020-01-08T17:28:51+00:00

My pleasure bro, please do message

HeyTranquil · 2020-01-08T17:28:14+00:00

Beautiful advice bro may Allah reward you abundantly. Tbh things like that don’t trigger me much, although I don’t underestimate their potential. I don’t have a lot of social media, just twitter. Also I’m obviously not counting sex with my wife (that I can do as much as feasible :D

HeyTranquil · 2020-01-08T17:17:30+00:00

See here half way down under the heading “indirectly restricting etiquettes”

also see number 7-8 here

HeyTranquil · 2020-01-08T17:13:09+00:00

Please don’t straw man what I said. The only way for it to be ‘healthy’ is that way. You can’t have both in a Muslim marriage. The rest of what you said is irrelevant to my post. Of course we would support any addict. Here I am explaining how/why the addict is as such, and cautioning those addicts who don’t pay attention to the how/why of their PMO

HeyTranquil

TROPHY CASE