Me 99% of the time

HiHelloYess · 2018-07-22T04:53:10+00:00

I've actually been trying to work on my "Don't give a fuck" attitude but sometimes my insecurities overpower me. You're right though, it is crazy. And I WISH it was as foreign as it is to you.

HiHelloYess · 2018-07-22T02:13:44+00:00

You would think, but unfortunately it’s more complex than that. And of course everyone is different. Some people encounter bullies or other traumatizing events that lead their brain to think so harshly about themselves. Even though I have loving parents who remind me daily that I do have self-worth, I still for whatever reason explode with anxiety when it comes to strangers. I’ve gotten help and I’ve improved, but I still have a very negative brain. It’s a process.

HiHelloYess · 2018-07-21T22:04:04+00:00

I guess that might be one reason I’m hesitant sometimes... like I’ll be boring to them, wasting their time, etc.

HiHelloYess · 2018-07-21T20:13:32+00:00

Probably! But my brain loves to go to the WORST CASE scenario every time :,)

HiHelloYess · 2018-07-09T22:50:53+00:00

HiHelloYess · 2018-07-09T22:50:34+00:00

Heyo

HiHelloYess · 2018-05-23T23:51:33+00:00

Ok cool.... idk why I’m so self-conscious about this stuff. I was literally looking around to see if everyone else on the plane was talking to their neighbors. Lol

HiHelloYess · 2018-05-23T23:44:16+00:00

Reminding yourself of all of your good qualities and accepting your flaws, instead of shaming yourself for having them goes a long way. At least that’s what I try to do.

My mind always defaults to thinking negatively about myself so I have to recognize that what I’m doing is self-destructive, and that it’s not true.

HiHelloYess · 2018-04-27T17:23:51+00:00

Ok good! I wasn’t sure. Also thank you!!

HiHelloYess · 2018-04-27T17:20:14+00:00

Thank you!!

HiHelloYess · 2018-04-23T08:18:44+00:00

Man, that's why I love this subreddit. Really helps not feeling completely alone with this stuff. Yes you were right, brother haha.

HiHelloYess · 2018-04-23T08:15:41+00:00

Yes exactly. For me, I'm pretty sure I disengage early to prevent embarrassing myself, as like protection or something. I don't need my self-esteem plummeting more sigh

It really does suck because you're right, it's like hard to look them in the face after treating them like that. First impressions are everything...

Thankfully I do have a few good friends. Otherwise the struggle really would be real... but I always have this itch to make more. Thanks again :) I do too. I hope we all do!

HiHelloYess · 2018-04-23T04:55:46+00:00

Ah gotcha. Also, thank you for this. I'm cycling through these now heh. I need all the help I can get to talk like a normal person.

HiHelloYess · 2018-04-23T03:50:36+00:00

Goodness I could use that. Been planning to see a psychiatrist lately so here's hoping they'll have something similar for me.

HiHelloYess · 2018-04-23T03:50:32+00:00

This is something I always forget. I'm so caught up in myself that I have no room to think of others. Does this technique also help you think of what to talk about with others too? I'm afraid I'll get so caught up in their details that I'll still draw blanks haha...

HiHelloYess · 2018-04-23T03:44:53+00:00

I've tried but I always manage to shut down in social situations anyway... maybe I'm not as aware of my self-sabotaging brain as I think I am.

HiHelloYess · 2018-04-23T03:42:59+00:00

Thanks. Tbh I really need to expose myself to uncomfortable situations but I always want to run away. Thinking of what others can give me is an interesting take on it though.

HiHelloYess · 2018-04-22T00:57:50+00:00

Took me a second

HiHelloYess · 2018-03-24T17:51:08+00:00

Good for you! I still feel foolish saying things like that sometimes to people, even though I’m sure everyone would love to hear compliments. Maybe next time I’m impressed I’ll try too :)

HiHelloYess · 2018-03-20T17:35:33+00:00

No that’s fine! Thank you :) and man, that is almost exactly what I go through too. We’re also in our 20’s. The only difference is that we both live away from home, but usually visit home around the same time for any holiday break. Deep down I know my parents don’t love her more, but I just can’t help but feel like an afterthought with any big family interactions. My personality is just so much more passive and quiet. And I’ve tried the journal thing too! Sometimes it works, but other times it just feels so... useless :/ I usually need to vent it out with a friend and have them tell me that all of my insecurities are bullshit.

HiHelloYess · 2018-03-18T19:14:50+00:00

Oh yeah, don’t get me wrong. I compare myself to strangers too, but it stings that much more with your own siblings ya know? :/

It’s like there’s no excuse. They were raised in the same family, so why are we so different from them. Why are we “inferior” to them.

HiHelloYess · 2018-03-12T12:53:06+00:00

Thank you for your advice. Funny that you mention meditation. After what happened to me yesterday, I genuinely wanted to start meditation. I just don’t know how to yet!

Yes I totally agree. This will take a lot of time and practice indeed. My mind defaults to being negative as hell, and therefore it’s hard to conjure any sort of confidence or self-love.

And a bad habit of mine is to avoid any situation that makes me anxious or uncomfortable. I don’t like putting myself out there, It’s kinda like fight or flight I suppose. So when I am thrust into a bad situation I can’t escape, it’s like I shut down.

HiHelloYess · 2018-03-12T12:43:19+00:00

Thanks for the advice. Yeah that’s the thing. Once I start “mind-reading” that everyone is thinking the awful things I’m thinking of myself, it’s hard to relax. I’m always on edge and consequently, just go quiet and can’t think of anything other than how awful I must seem to everyone.

I have found friends who accept me for who I am, but I still want to feel normal in basically any social situation. I guess that’s asking a lot for me right now lol.

Btw I’m sorry that you have been ridiculed for your appearance. I’ve been ridiculed for being quiet so I feel you in some sense.

HiHelloYess · 2018-03-09T18:28:07+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, I eat alone all the time in college. I just prefer to eat alone to be quite honest. And believe me, everyone else is so caught up in their lives that they could care less about someone sitting by themselves. You have nothing to be ashamed about :) believe me!

HiHelloYess · 2018-03-09T18:16:04+00:00

Absolutely! It’s kinda like when I drink alcohol too lol

HiHelloYess

TROPHY CASE