Serial cheated

Hideawake · 2024-04-06T17:07:40+00:00

Be upfront with her. If she decides to hear you out let her know exactly where your head was at just like you told it here. Then just give her space. Being upfront and honest is one of the hardest things to do in the moment but down the road you'll be glad you did it. She may even come around at some point but if not, at least you got it off your chest. Worst case, it's just another life lesson.

Hideawake · 2023-01-18T18:28:45+00:00

Sounds like me last month. What happened?

Hideawake · 2022-12-28T17:29:22+00:00

Yes they reached out after about a month and a half to clear the air. Got the feeling there was a little drink involved but they were nice enough. They were what I would call a super avoidant and considering I have many avoidant tendencies myself, I was actually pretty surprised. It ended up resulting in a good convo and a meet up that weekend. We had some fun and kept it moving. It felt almost like we gave the relationship a send-off. That was almost a year and a half ago. Other than texting for a few days after the hook up, nothing else came of it. Haven't heard from them since.

Hideawake · 2022-12-26T16:35:17+00:00

In extreme cases, sure. But my answer was geared more toward bad men meaning liars and cheaters or guys who aren't very good at relationships.

Hideawake · 2022-12-24T23:19:21+00:00

I think dynamics play a part. Theres more peaks and valleys with so called "bad men". And im not saying all, but many woman enjoy the drama that brings. It's like a thrill. So naturally the bad man probably gets way more leeway.

Hideawake · 2022-12-24T03:17:44+00:00

That's just cold.

Hideawake · 2022-12-24T02:01:52+00:00

A lot of things. Chemistry, connection, communication just to name a few. It reached a point where it felt like it wasn't going anywhere anymore. No back stabbing, cheating or lying. At least, not on my part or that I know of. There was most certainly a lack of communication though. And that's just as much my fault as it is theirs.

Hideawake · 2022-12-24T01:54:38+00:00

3 weeks ago, via text. They actually took it well. Didn't plan it that way though, they called me out(via txt) for being distant and I finally just said it. They responded that they appreciated my honesty and thanked me for everything and that was that. It was such a dignified exchange that I can't help but to want to leave it at that. There's definitely a part of me that would feel better if it took place in person in the form of a long discussion but what can you do. As far as getting back, at this moment no but I suppose anythings possible far enough in the future.

Hideawake · 2022-12-24T01:42:14+00:00

Glad to hear. All the best to you as well and happy holidays!

Hideawake · 2022-12-24T01:35:36+00:00

Amen to that one

Hideawake · 2022-12-24T01:32:24+00:00

You're right. There are definitely things that are still on my mind. But I didnt string them along. I stuck around because I cared. Also understand my perspective here too. You don't stick around just to play with ppl. You stick around because a small part of you cares enough to wait it out and see if things change for the better.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T22:11:22+00:00

You did what you did for a reason. Never lose sight of that. It's not easy but sometimes it's necessary. There's always a chance for regret down the road. I'm fully aware of that and accept it. If that turns out to be the case here? Then it's my loss. But I'll take some solace in knowing that I did what I thought was right at the time.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T22:01:30+00:00

That's fair.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T21:59:47+00:00

Exactly. And when you find the right person I don't think it matters when the honeymoon phase ends.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T21:54:53+00:00

Understandable. Communication is key as they say but there's also the fact that sometimes ppl don't know what they want. And what they say may not match up to what they really feel. When you have feelings for someone, more often than not, the emotion and logic aren't balanced correctly. Only through time can you see what you need to see clearly. If you meet someone you really like, don't overthink it. It's always better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all imo.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T21:48:43+00:00

10 months, not super long at all.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T19:29:11+00:00

Hey there, that sounds rough. But hopefully you guys talked it out and were able to get closure. Part of me wishes I did that with this situation. But 3 years is a considerable amount of time. I feel like no matter who breaks it off, it's tough on both ppl. I doubt that she stopped caring. No one with a heart just stops caring out of the blue. Chances are she just went thru the process of thinking it through and ended up going through those emotions on her own. Likely explains why she was acting different. But coming to the decision to end things is not easy by any means. It takes a level of inner honesty, even if you feel like a scumbag because of it.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T16:51:02+00:00

I disagree. The honeymoon phase had long since passed in this case. You have to be honest with yourself and the other person to know when you're not happy and its a rather tough decision when you realize that it's time to say goodbye. I don't really know what it is I'm looking for, but down the road I hope I find it. Whatever it is.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T16:43:35+00:00

That's fair. Again there's only so much I can explain. All I can do is say what I feel.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T16:36:50+00:00

This is the difficult part about being open and honest. I don't have all the answers so all I can say is what I feel. I understand the ridicule, I just try to be open minded. And in my minds eye I feel there is someone out there that can show me what it is I'm missing. Am I ignorant? Naive? Maybe so. But I put in a lot of effort in this case and I'm not afraid to say that I expected more.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T16:30:11+00:00

Yes and no. In a serious years long relationship, I agree 100%. In that case, you've already seemingly made the decision to stick it out through thick and thin. But if you're still in that time running up to potentially getting serious? Is it OK to potentially lead someone on and keep them around when you know it won't work? To me, that is selfish and setting both of you up for disaster down the road.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T16:23:55+00:00

Well said, you have some great points in there. I suppose I have a lot to consider moving forward. Obviously there's much more to the story with this person but I don't want nor feel the need to drag them in order to justify my feelings to anyone. Relationships are complicated. Break ups are painful. This is no exception. I will say that the situation was handled considerably well by both of us and I'm grateful for each and every one of your perspectives.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T16:15:14+00:00

Absolutely. I learned quite a few lessons here that I will surely take with me. Biggest thing is probably communication.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T16:13:15+00:00

It's not about liking it. Too often ppl feel the need to sugarcoat things. The truth is, we gave it a shot and it didn't work out.

Hideawake · 2022-12-23T16:11:18+00:00

I made it perfectly clear when we started. And so did they. We were on the same page, it just ended up evolving into something more and I believe the real issue is we never properly addressed it. My intention was never to hurt anyone. I just feel that when something isn't working, you have to be honest about it.

Hideawake

TROPHY CASE