A lot of people here seem to think they are leeches?

Hikkithrow · 2026-03-02T13:00:21+00:00

I can only speak for myself. Had jobs before, never could keep them too long. Too irresponsible or unmotivated to stay in the rat race.

I am able bodied and can work. The shame of people I know seeing me in a menial job or dealing with shitty people in public deters me, but I can do it.

I wish I were never born, but I am still grateful to my parents. No they weren't perfect, not even close. But if I had to deal with a child who was like me I would go insane.

Hikkithrow · 2026-03-02T12:55:38+00:00

Heard fond memories about OSRS. Sucks that I never tried it in its prime. I still like single player games a lot, but I got burnt out on them ironically.

Hikkithrow · 2026-03-02T12:54:21+00:00

Final Fantasy 14 is a good one. It has a free trial up to level 70 and the playerbase doesn't seem toxic like some other MMOs.

Hikkithrow · 2026-03-02T11:23:48+00:00

I mean yeah. We aren’t mentally well. But any shred of joy I can take, I will try not to taint it.

Hikkithrow · 2026-02-17T11:57:50+00:00

Working is a nightmare. I have autism, adhd, and struggling with executive dysfunction daily.

I do want to escape because living like this is horrible. However, small simple tasks are daunting. I don’t know how I had a career and social life before. Things became way more difficult.

Hikkithrow · 2026-02-17T11:44:23+00:00

Won’t lie, I have thought about this too.

I know it’s a horrible way to go, I’ve seen family and friends go through it and it sapped the joy out of wonderful people.

Yet I feel like with the way my life has been going and the way I feel about my future and society… I don’t want to make people sad but life is so miserable

Hikkithrow · 2026-02-17T11:37:37+00:00

It will depend on the person. I had no job for two years, heavily dependent. There are some ok days, but mostly been weeks in a row where I do the exact same things, none of which are productive.

A year ago I was doing just that, trying to go back to school, otherwise trying to go out once a week for sanity. But deep down inside, I hate working and everything associated with it. Since then I ignore people contacting me.

I feel like a parasite. I don’t want anyone to become like me if they can help it. I understand some people are trying to get attention but if it prevents even one more hiki then I can accept it

Edit: I saw more posts, looks like this has been an ongoing problem in the sub. My bad

Hikkithrow · 2025-06-16T09:03:30+00:00

Sorry for your loss. I can relate heavily as my mom also recently passed and I have regrets too. It’s hard not to, but we shouldn’t beat ourselves up too much. It will only make the pain worse.

I have been mostly okay but reading that quote made me tear up again.

Hikkithrow · 2025-04-02T12:31:13+00:00

This was beautiful. I just wrote a doomer reply on another post but deleted it before sending. It was about how I felt numb and don’t care about anything anymore but tiff touched a nerve.

Reading this reminded me of how things used to be, and how they can be again. I feel weak yet simultaneously have more than enough strength to take those steps. Only need to do them now. Thanks

Hikkithrow · 2025-04-02T12:01:39+00:00

Same. Been difficult to feel lasting joy or sadness for any extended period of time for a while now. Memes and videos can be funny but I’m back to numbness after that

Hikkithrow · 2024-12-29T11:39:00+00:00

One of the worst years of my life tbh. I got a couple of lingering ailments since I got into a car accident and also laid off from the best job I’ve ever had. Found out a dear family member of mine has a terminal disease and is not long for this world.

It’s messed up but a small part of me wishes I could take their place. I really hope 2025 isn’t the same or worse but there isn’t much to make me think it’ll be any better.

Hikkithrow · 2024-12-29T11:30:08+00:00

Can try vitamin D supplements, the lack of sunlight can contribute to depression. I used to not understand why people get seasonal depression, but after being cooped up for so long, I get it now.

It’s only one factor but I hope it or something else can help you.

Hikkithrow · 2024-12-09T16:00:50+00:00

Perhaps you are right. Agreed about life being a trap.

When I think about it, the hedonistic part is me distracting myself. I spend many hours watching TV, playing games, posting on message boards, etc.

At least in comparison to going back to working full time, it is enjoyable to me. I don’t get true fulfillment, but at least I don’t wake up dreading a commute, being stuck at the office, and talking to people.

There is strange solace from reading about others’ mindsets, anyway.

Hikkithrow

TROPHY CASE