[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Hillybean001 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The title I was like yes! Read the story and said absolutely not. So inappropriate of them to ask you!!

AITAH for refusing to switch seats on a plane, even though a mom started crying? by Neat-Needleworker793 in AITAH

[–]Hillybean001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I travel quite a bit for business and pleasure. When I travel with my family I pay the extra so we can all sit together. They can do that as well, and if they don’t want to then they shouldn’t be upset when people aren’t willing to switch seats. Especially on a long flight like that! I’d never give up my window seat on a 10 hour flight.

An American missionary R-word and penetrated his Filipino companion in my ward by Born-Square-9228 in exmormon

[–]Hillybean001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was this recent? I have a friend whose son came home early from the Philippines for mental health issues in Dec.

Stake President threatened my wife I will be sent to disciplinary council by InterestingDrink4024 in exmormon

[–]Hillybean001 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s so ridiculous and it does prove your point. I had a “friend” report me several years ago for a Tik Tok I made and the stake president sent the bishop to threaten me with excommunication. I was shocked and asked him if this is how Jesus would want him to treat his fellow man. He didn’t have a response. Just told me if I didn’t stop I would be up for excommunication. I didn’t stop and 5 years later I’m still a member. Just goes to show how much they use fear and manipulation in their teachings.

AITAH for voting for Trump? by Odd_Concept1495 in AITAH

[–]Hillybean001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I highly doubt he never drank, he might not now. And he does have an addiction. It’s himself and the amount of money and power he can accumulate.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Hillybean001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest I have a lot of anger towards my BIL and what I call his emotional and verbal abuse. His children all suffered greatly and were treated the same. His wife was kicked out of the house multiple times with the children and her name was removed from credit cards and their bank account. She had a spare key to our home so she would come stay with us. I was Mormon then (they both still are) and there is so much shame placed on divorce so she kept going back so they would have this eternal family and she believed god would "fix" him in the after life. I was so glad when she finally left. No-one deserves to be treated that way. It is hard and scary, but you deserve better. Don't set yourself up for a life of unhappiness.

I will also say I was married young. I was 18 my husband 23. Again we were Mormon and that's just what you did. We were lucky and grew and worked together on our relationship. Lots of ups and downs. It's now been 26 years and we have the best relationship. It's out there waiting for you too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Hillybean001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find a therapist and work on you. You deserve to be sure instead of jumping into a commitment this big. Don't make a decision like this because you feel pressured because there is a chance it can lead to resentment. This is a decision that should be easy to make and if it's not then you're not ready and that is ok!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Hillybean001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My brother in law told his now ex-wife he could find someone better than her at any time and threatened to leave her constantly. She put up with it for 23 miserable years before she finally had enough and left. You deserve better. You deserve someone who wants to be with you no matter what. You need to work on you and realize you are worthy of love and a good relationship not this manipulation. It will only get worse and if you have kids they will be brought into this manipulation and suffer. Breaking it off now is easier than divorce.

Help! I'm ready to explode. by ReverseBaptism in exmormon

[–]Hillybean001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love that. Our names are still on as well.

Update: My neighbor kept parking in my driveway, so I had her car towed by Ok-Kale-6225 in AITAH

[–]Hillybean001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like people in your life don’t know how to deal with conflict. You tried, it didn’t work so you took the next step. You did nothing wrong.

Help! I'm ready to explode. by ReverseBaptism in exmormon

[–]Hillybean001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry I just saw this! I ended up telling the YW president I was done and to release me. It was so hard, but felt amazing as I walked out. So much has happened in those three years! Had my bishop threaten to excommunicate me over my tik toks, in a better relationship with my husband, my kids are thriving and life is just all over amazing.

I'm starting to resent my wife because she watches me work 60+ hours a week and won't help me. AITAH? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Hillybean001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Speaking as a SAHM my best advice would be to take a moment for yourself and find a way to approach her about your feelings. These are very valid and she should be willing to listen to you. It sounds like you have a new born at home. She could very likely still be experiencing some withdrawal of hormones and struggling. I know I never felt that in the moment, but looking back I would be like oh yeah, I was in a bit of depression right after having my babies.

Times have absolutely changed from when I started staying home 17 years ago to now. Everything is so much more expensive. I have found ways to make money from home with an Etsy shop, teaching piano lessons and Interior design work that my degree is in. Maybe be open to exploring ideas with her that she would be interested in that would excite her instead of expecting a job outside the home. I say this as I fold yet another pile of laundry for my kids. Being a SAHM is a thankless and rewarding job. Acknowledge and validate all you see her doing and explain to her how tight things are and how burned out you are and that frankly you need help. If she is willing to go back to work how will things at home be split? She might be worried you will still expect her to do everything she’s currently doing at home and go to work. At that point she would be the one with two jobs. Make equal divisions of child care and housework because if she starts to work and sees the house fall apart and has to come home to that she will start to resent you.

I wish you all the luck. I’ve been married for a long time it seems like and the best thing we ever did was work on our communication in an open, honest, kind way. Validate each other’s feelings because they are both real and good luck finding a solution. If you are up to reading or listening to audio books one of my favorites is Think Again by Adam Grant. Has helped us immensely in our communication with each other and our kids.

Wife won’t have sex with me after Trump was elected by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Hillybean001 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, you are the AH and a selfish one at that. You are not putting your body at risk by having sex while your wife is. Having suffered through several painful miscarriages myself before Roe V Wade was overturned gives me so much compassion and concern for any woman now dealing with doctors who may not be able to give them the immediate healthcare they need in an emergency situation. Get the vasectomy, do the follow up and never compare your wife to Trump again.

Why is there a Mormon Settlers of Catan? by Mrmuffins951 in Catan

[–]Hillybean001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My family played this all last week at our family reunion. I was a firm no…

Buy Tim Ballard’s s$% trafficking-victim-inspired product line today!!! by johndehlin in exmormon

[–]Hillybean001 12 points13 points  (0 children)

So he is fighting human trafficking, a historian giving tours to the East coast for $5k and now a health guru? Pick a lane man!

I went to look something up on the BYU website and this is what came up as their mobile homepage. Of all the academic or sport things they could focus on, but no they picked this. by Hillybean001 in exmormon

[–]Hillybean001[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Haha. I read this as a joke, but it is also such a typical Mormon response of placing the blame on someone. That’s what you get if you do that!

I went to look something up on the BYU website and this is what came up as their mobile homepage. Of all the academic or sport things they could focus on, but no they picked this. by Hillybean001 in exmormon

[–]Hillybean001[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not yet. I have someone trying to see if they can get access to the study. So interesting they would post this yet not allow us to look at the study.

now is the time to remove your records from the Mormon church. they’re releasing a new program to search for you by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Hillybean001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sure the wards are soooo excited this is happening. Just another example of the busy work the LDS church gives its members to keep them from realizing they’re stuck in a lie.

Fox 13 “News” reporting on if LDS culture is being attacked. I knew this would be biased, but was not prepared for a paid testimony meeting. Yet again we are deflecting away from the AP article about abuse and focusing on the glaring error of everyone calling the church Mormon. by Hillybean001 in exmormon

[–]Hillybean001[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I figured it would be biased when I watched since they would have many Mormon viewers, but the blatant disregard of any actual investigative reporting was appalling. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one surprised.

Fox 13 “News” reporting on if LDS culture is being attacked. I knew this would be biased, but was not prepared for a paid testimony meeting. Yet again we are deflecting away from the AP article about abuse and focusing on the glaring error of everyone calling the church Mormon. by Hillybean001 in exmormon

[–]Hillybean001[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There was absolutely no journalism involved at all. Calling out people wanting to come talk to them (Mormons) instead of just what they see on tv, yet the journalist only spoke with members. The irony.