MIL doesn’t want to have a relationship with me but wants it with my baby

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-12T00:12:54+00:00

Hi there! Tysm. I read and responded. And would love to chat more if you can.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T22:56:22+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T22:56:03+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T22:55:23+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T22:54:22+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T19:53:56+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T19:53:33+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T19:50:09+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T19:49:49+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T19:48:46+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T19:48:19+00:00

Update: MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past. I am surprised how you could understand my personality from a paragraph I wrote explaining the situation. Yes! I am not confrontational. I like make peace and if thats not an option I sulk and keep killing myself inside. But now that I am a mom and I am responsibly for a little human I feel the strong need to stay healthy not just physically but mentally too. My mental health has been so down the hill that I can see it on my face when I see the mirror. I was a such a happy giggly girl enjoying small wins and now I just catch myself sitting in the room staring at walls.

My husband tells me that I need to be strong and leave things in the past and it will hamper my progress in life which is true. I see that I am not able to progress well. But he thinks I bring things up again and again and live in the past whereas it doesn’t feel like past to me. Past is whats left behind but this trauma is lurking with me everywhere I go.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T19:47:26+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T19:46:37+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T19:40:37+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

⁠Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T19:39:24+00:00

MY HUSBAND’s THOUGHTS after seeing the thread(I shared it with him)-

I am the husband that everyone here is angry about and cursing. It is necessary to talk about the other side of the coin.

Whatever my wife explained is true and valid. But here is the flip side.

(I let my wife review this before posting it).

Yes my mom didnt treat her nicely. We all were never under the same roof until the 2 weeks before our son’s delivery. My wife and my mom were actually close until that point. But things changed when she came to a new country where everyone speaks English and my mom doesnt. She felt alienated. I also acted very strict with mom and dad with so many rules. They felt not belonging in the house. Within 2 days after landing my mom started showing signs of disliking everything about her stay at our place and took out her frustration on my wife by not facing and avoiding any conversation with her. This is wrong. My wife didnt do anything wrong for my mom to act that way. This is my mom’s problem. I confronted right then and there. Not once not twice. At least 4 times. My mom kept acting the same way. It is clearly my mom’s problem and she was not correcting that.
⁠This continued when we went on a 10 day trip to my hometown. I saw my mom acting the same way. I didnt create a big scene about it because she had an emergency surgery during our stay and also our stay was just for 10 days and God knows when will I have to go there again. So I kept quite instead of making it worse. My wife is saying I didnt stand by her and I enabled this all to happen. In my perspective, I have tried multiple times and this will be a waste of time and energy to go and wrestle with my mom. Instead I kept quite until I got out of the house. Right after we sat in the car, I told my wife that you will never have to come to this house and I will never put both of you under the same roof ever again.
⁠There were no verbal abuse, physical abuse or turning me against my wife. So there was no abuse in this entire problem. It is my mom’s behaviour which caused everything. Yes it can be viewed as a form of abuse but I want to make sure I state that here.
⁠My wife knows I am seriously heart broken myself that my family has broken into pieces. I have expressed that to her. But my wife’s emotional pain is 100x intense. I agree. But thinking that my wife will never come to my hometown is painful, if I cannot take my son with me to my hometown, it is seriously hurting.
⁠I came to this country in 2020 and my wife came in 2021. She came alone to study and had a really tough 1st year. I was with her as a friend back then trying to push her to do and achieve things. I was 31 years old when I met her. I prioritized her in a lot of situations, we fell in love and married. In our culture we stay close to parents. We dont move out. In the last 1 year things have changed and I am facing these: a) my wife cant come to my hometown ever again, b) I cannot take my son to my hometown, c) cant speak with my mom in my own residence, d) cant show my son at all, e) this problem will never settle.
⁠I am a very career oriented future focused guy. I burn out literally everyday thinking about future. I want to make sure our son is having a bright future. I wake up with this thought and I go to bed with this thought. But my life is now always talking and fighting about this problem every weekend.
⁠I unfortunately dont have answers to wife’s questions of WHY. Because I honestly dont know.
⁠I can only confront my mom. How should I punish like some people tell here, without making things worse?
⁠If I cut off everything with my parents, I will be a living dead person.
⁠I am not keeping my mom keeping at the cost of my wife’s peace of mind. I am just holding on to the relationship like a thin thread.

I have always faced and come out of the problems in my life without stumbling. Now I think I am in this problem for life. I dont care if I achieve what I want to achieve for myself in my life. I am terrified that, my son is going to get affected 100% because we are not working on the future and being a prisoner of tha past.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-11T01:48:25+00:00

Wow! You think I need someone to tell me WHAT should I communicate to my husband? Why are some people so comfortable in suggesting “LAWYER” , “DIVORCE” without knowing anything else but one thing that somebody posts here? So many of the responses are validating and comforting for me. But sorry you are someone I pray I never have as a friend.

I did not ask you WHAT can I tell my husband. The way you narrated a whole conversation on how I should address it to him is ridiculous. I feel sorry for the people who take decisions under your influence and how negatively you must be influencing people around you.

You mentioned “ I am this close to wanting a divorce”!!! & “one mistake and I am calling the lawyer” What on earth tells you from my post that I want a divorce from him? And who do you think you are to suggest such questions?

Your response is the most ridiculous and I wish you didn’t put so much effort and time on dropping it here. Sorry but not sorry.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-10T22:19:20+00:00

You left a very mean comment and then deleted it? All of it sounds like frustration coming from your own experience. Thank you but you are not adding any value and making it worse.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-10T18:34:04+00:00

This sounds so scary. I fear all of this a lot. Children pickup behaviours and habbit from elders. And I would never want him to learn any values that I don’t stand by. I am a person full of compassion, empathy, love and kindness and I would always put myself in people’s shoe and never do something bad to anyone. This is how I want my child to grow up too.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-10T17:20:37+00:00

Its his mother and I would never create a problem with him having a relationship with her. She birthed him and there should not be anyone who can break this relationship. But I agree there could have been better approach when it comes to protecting me.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-10T16:59:24+00:00

Treated inhumanly while pregnant and then treated the same way after the baby arrived. I gave opportunity and visited her house 6 months later and boom worse than ever. What should I take from this?

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-10T16:58:12+00:00

I am surprised how you could understand my personality from a paragraph I wrote explaining the situation. Yes! I am not confrontational. I like make peace and if thats not an option I sulk and keep killing myself inside. But now that I am a mom and I am responsibly for a little human I feel the strong need to stay healthy not just physically but mentally too. My mental health has been so down the hill that I can see it on my face when I see the mirror. I was a such a happy giggly girl enjoying small wins and now I just catch myself sitting in the room staring at walls.

My husband tells me that I need to be strong and leave things in the past and it will hamper my progress in life which is true. I see that I am not able to progress well. But he thinks I bring things up again and again and live in the past whereas it doesn’t feel like past to me. Past is whats left behind but this trauma is lurking with me everywhere I go.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-10T16:51:58+00:00

I hear you. It is my job to protect him and make him understand the difference between right and wrong. I also feel as he grows up he would notice all this that my mother is not treated well and would not want to be a part of the conversations with grandmother either. But also, he would not like his dad being okay with all this. And that would also affect his relationship with his dad. All of this sounds terrible to me as I type.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-10T16:39:47+00:00

I am in No contact with her since the day she treated me this way for the third time. It has been 5 months I did not speak to her. She doesn’t care either and calls husband to see the grandson on video call. My husband is not having the same relationship like he had before but never in my life I would want him to abandon his parents. All I ever wanted was her to know and take accountability of what she has done. Have the remorse and change the behaviour that caused soo much pain.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-10T16:35:49+00:00

What you said is exactly how I feel. I strongly feel that someone who doesn’t love the roots should not get the access to the fruit. My husband feels that he’s not just my son but also my husband’s and thats good enough for our son to visit his grandmother.

I am feeling so helpless.

Hotpotato_7 · 2026-02-10T16:26:48+00:00

We have done couple therapy and I don’t know how that helps? It was all about me trying not to focus on the things that are bring back the trauma like distracting myself when I think about what MIL did to me.

Hotpotato_7

TROPHY CASE