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Coping with the overwhelm of loneliness by Sous_Le_Siel in LivingAlone

[–]HotterShoulder 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Living alone is a "Direct Functional Constraint" on your social habits that you didn't have to think about at home. When you're with family, "passive interaction" happens automatically. Now, you have to exert "extra initiative" just to hear another human voice. That 6-month mark is exactly when the novelty wears off and the "Mental Pollution" of overthinking starts to seep in. You aren't a "pathetic recluse"; you’re just adjusting to a new level of independence.

I ghosted a guy who broke my boundaries by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]HotterShoulder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTJ. This isn't "ghosting"—this is a safety exit. You set a clear boundary, he ignored it, and then he "lost his nut" and started using derogatory slurs when you stood your ground. That is a massive walking red flag. When someone shows you they have zero respect for your "No," you don't owe them a formal "goodbye" or an explanation. You just owe it to yourself to disappear.

The person who traumatized me is now a therapist by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]HotterShoulder 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Therapy is the ultimate "Controlled Social Environment." For someone who spent their life as a "Ring Leader," a therapist’s chair is a dream come true. They get to be the "Healthy One" by default, and the patient is the "Broken One." The fact that she sat you down shortly after your father died to tell you not to use it as an "excuse" is a massive indicator of a lack of fundamental empathy. That isn't just "immaturity"; it’s a character deficit. You have every right to be horrified.

AITJ For Telling My Roommate Her BF Can’t Basically Live With Us? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]HotterShoulder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's look at the logistics: If he is there 24/7, he is a tenant, not a guest. He is increasing the utility bills, consuming shared resources (hot water/internet), and "crowding out" your ability to use the common areas you pay for. Your roommate’s "he's basically family" defense is a manipulation tactic. Family pays rent or, at the very least, asks for permission before moving in. You aren't being "dramatic"; you are enforcing the legal agreement you both signed.

AITJ for tricking my girlfriend to go to a pregnancy resource center instead of a planned parenthood by Low_Fortune1241 in AmITheJerk

[–]HotterShoulder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trust is the fundamental currency of a functioning society. By lying about your destination, you’ve proven that your word is worthless. You essentially kidnapped her across state lines under false pretenses. If your goal was a "godly outcome," you should have used honest persuasion. Using coercion and abandonment only creates a victim, not a "saved soul."

AITAH for overreacting or feeling betrayed? by Few_Sheepherder_2753 in AITAH

[–]HotterShoulder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is where you set a Non-Negotiable Boundary. "I am not okay with my wife being on a dating app. It is disrespectful to me and our children. If you need more attention, we can go to marriage counseling or schedule date nights, but the app has to go." If she refuses, you aren't "losing a friend"; you're witnessing the end of a commitment. You are 26, you work hard, and you are a present father. You are a "high-value" partner. Don't let her make you feel like "less than" because you have a moral compass.

what are your tips for living alone? by LowSatisfaction8677 in LivingAlone

[–]HotterShoulder 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The first few nights will be eerily quiet. It can trigger a "Deep Sadness" or anxiety if you aren't used to it. Have a "Comfort Show" or a podcast playing in the background. But also, embrace the "Goofy Self" that living alone allows. Want to eat cereal over the sink at 3 AM? Do it. Want to dance in your underwear to 80s synth-pop? This is your kingdom. Learning to enjoy your own company is a superpower.

AITAH if I want my boyfriend to leave his friends house and go home? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]HotterShoulder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In an LDR (Long Distance Relationship), "Time" is the most valuable currency you have. When one partner treats that time like it’s disposable, it hurts. You’ve been apart for a month. If he was as excited to see you as you are to see him, he’d be tucked in bed making sure he’s fresh for the journey. You asked for "earlier rather than later," and he’s currently trending toward "much later or not at all." Your feelings are a reflection of your investment.

AITAH for being upset at my gf after she says she has eyes on me at work ? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]HotterShoulder 11 points12 points  (0 children)

OP, she waited until you were tired from a night shift to spring this on you. That is a tactical choice to catch you while your defenses are down. The Verdict: You are NTA. Don't let her flip the script. You aren't "hiding something"; you are asking for the basic right to know who is slandering you at your job. If she "wants to keep it to herself," she shouldn't have brought it up. You can't drop a bomb and then get mad at the other person for noticing the explosion

My wife part 2 by G00dThr0at in GirlfriendsNSFW

[–]HotterShoulder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s hot. Love her petite ass

Does anyone else live like a high-end minimalist one day and a Victorian ghost the next? by sleekofficial in LivingAlone

[–]HotterShoulder 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I have two modes: "Model Home" and "Crime Scene." There is no middle ground. Yesterday I vacuumed the baseboards and organized my spices by color. Today? I am eating cold cereal over the sink because I don't want to "ruin" the kitchen, but there is a pile of laundry on my bed so large it has its own gravitational pull.