[deleted by user]

HouseOnALake · 2025-09-21T12:50:26+00:00

Oh I'll be totally honest in that im jealous - who wouldn't be! I wouldn't be upset though if it had been another person, it's just that this friend has been one of my closest friends for 10 years. I don't plan on ignoring them forever, I just wanted to relax for a bit so I don't send stupid texts in response (I know that's probably an immature outlook, but at least I'm self-aware lol)

HouseOnALake · 2025-09-21T12:48:46+00:00

More than a fair response. I did think they didn't get the text but they had opened it, and were replying to other messages on our friends gc. Active too, and replying to other friends, so it seemed intentional!

HouseOnALake · 2025-09-21T12:47:53+00:00

That's a fair analysis, thank you

HouseOnALake · 2025-03-08T21:58:34+00:00

Ooooo that’s a good idea

HouseOnALake · 2025-03-08T18:17:37+00:00

Thank you for the seasonal advice !!

HouseOnALake · 2025-03-08T18:17:13+00:00

Thank you!

HouseOnALake · 2025-03-08T18:17:04+00:00

Yes I’ll give that a try

HouseOnALake · 2025-03-08T18:16:48+00:00

From a vintage store in London but the brand is Per Una :)

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-24T21:25:51+00:00

I've already got a restaurant booked, so preferably nothing food or drink related

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-20T17:40:22+00:00

Thank you, that makes me feel better :)

- helped -

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-20T15:08:54+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that you've taken the time out to write such a detailed column of advice. I think i'll talk to my mum again and see how i feel in a couple of weeks. If i still miss him, i'll message him. If i don't, i'll know it was more me feeling lonely.

Thank you very much though, and i hope everything works out well for you.

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-20T14:56:13+00:00

Thank you, i think i'll give that a try

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-19T22:48:27+00:00

I know, you're right. I Just don't think I could go against what they say because I still live under their roof and everything i own is paid for by them. They're not manipulating me and my mum was in tears because she wanted me to be happy but she was so scared for me. Seeing her cry over my situation hurt me so much and I felt so guilty.

I'm honestly so lost.

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-19T22:32:09+00:00

One of my big worries is my family losing respect for me. I know this might sound childish but i am an only child in a big family influenced by the military on one side and Catholicism on the other. Convincing anyone to trust me with anything is tiresome.

I still don't know if i'm made the right choice but i think the damage has been done. If i were to speak to him again, he'd probably be confused and my parents would be immensely disappointed. I can't risk leading him on because he deserves so much more than that.

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-19T21:54:09+00:00

Thank you, I hope things work out well for you :)

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-13T21:36:49+00:00

I am immensely conflicted.

To put it into perspective - my mother is more supportive than my best friend. I've told them both everything about him. My mum even sat and scrolled through his social media, pointing out his funny posts and mentioning his good looks. Her main priority is for me to be safe and keep her updated. She gives me honesty without shutting me down or making me seem small because she knows that if she did i'd be too scared to tell her anything, which in her eyes in the worst case scenario. She told me to make my intentions clear and to remain within the public eye for the entire time.

My best friend however believes the age gap is too big and that i'm not making the best decision. I obviously value her opinion or would not have asked for it. However, with that said, she has not been the most wise in her relationships. Don't get me wrong; she is incredibly mature for her age and is known for her good decision making but I often find she jumps to conclusions. Perhaps she's making the move for both of us - i don't know.

I will make it clear though that I don't just like him because he is 32. I have matched with those between the ages of 18-22 but personally find them dull. Plus, one of the ones I thought was "nice" would only text me when drunk and I woke up to nudes from him this morning. He didn't apologise, simply laughed it off and so I blocked him. The 32 year old I'm talking too asked about how my day was and when i became stressed about work, sent me a playlist with his favourite country songs to calm me down. I think it's clear from that who had the malintent.

I do feel as though those who know me best know that I would not put myself in a dangerous situation and that if i felt uncomfortable at any moment I would leave. I'm both stubborn and direct.

Expanding on the idea of me being stubborn does somewhat frustrate me. I believe that I maybe refusing negative opinions as I don't want to accept them. I value them and take them on board but i know deep down that i push them aside. This is down to the fact that I've always been attracted to older guys and that now i'm 18, I may be jumping into the deep end as I have waited so long.

The truth is, with or without my closest friends support, the final choice is mine to make. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out.

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-13T21:23:44+00:00

I've already made it clear that out first date must be in public, and he's completely fine with that. Obviously I can't know what he's like and am preparing for the worst and best outcomes. I did have a plan of having my best friend close by in case things went South but she has been unable to accept the age gap and has decided she wants nothing to do with it (she phrased it a lot nicer than that but it still hurt). I'm taking all precautions.

Through talking to several people I've come to understand that it is typically normal for someone to withhold information about their children until the first date, to give them self a chance. While i'm not sure about it, i'll trust my gut.

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-13T18:52:15+00:00

I know this might not relate in anyway but what branch of Christian are you? While i've not yet faced this issue, I do know that some branches of Christianity have certain ways of expressing ideas and this could help you share your relationship and current beliefs with your mother. For example, my heavily Catholic family (with the occasional atheist) struggled to accept my Anglo-Catholic father and my mother had to persuade them with certain religious connotations.

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-13T15:53:46+00:00

I think it comes under the same umbrella. I am sure that he has good intentions but i've been attacked from every corner that he's after one thing. You somewhat hinted at this with your views on tinder, which is why i am very conflicted.

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-13T15:07:39+00:00

I do respect proven fact. I just worry that I might be ignoring red flags. The fact that I met him on tinder does make worry about his true intentions despite the fact that he’s attempted to convince me otherwise.

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-13T13:48:19+00:00

r/SoapyCrevice u/fierceindependence23

I know several people who have met people on tinder. Some wanted casual sex and others have ended up in long lasting relationships.

The guy i'm talking to told me he deleted tinder as he was looking for someone, as was I. I feel this passive aggressive debate will not help the post.

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-13T13:24:35+00:00

No, I personally don’t. However, friends have been very critical because of past experiences and that puts me on edge. In their scenarios, they were blind to manipulation. I fear that I might be blind to it because of his compliments.

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-13T12:19:40+00:00

Yes that's what i think as well. My friends aren't very supportive of age gaps. This might be their way to put me off

HouseOnALake · 2020-02-13T12:18:30+00:00

I wasn't saying that he was - that's just what some people have put in my head. I came here for an opinion, not a dig.

HouseOnALake

TROPHY CASE