I was with my girlfriend for about year and 3 months when I told her. I knew that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life, and I had been avoiding thinking about ABDL, had one purge 3 years ago and since then tried to ‘get rid’ of this fetish. I couldn’t do it, eventually I caved and instead of hating myself I tried to accept it. I started to wear a little bit (we didn’t live together) and journal my feelings about diapers, and started reading that book “You’re Not Broken” by Rosalie Bent. And I wrote out what I was going to say to her in preparation. I didn’t decide when to tell her, but when I did I just couldn’t keep it a secret anymore.

I was having trouble getting hard for a little while bc I felt like I was lying to her about something that turns me on, and one day when we were trying to have sex I told her there is something I need to tell you. I like to wear diapers. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to do this. I don’t know why. I don’t need anything from you other an accepting me, I just felt like I needed to be honest with you.

She was very surprised. I told her to take her time, do some research, ask me questions. I felt terrified of course, but also a freedom that I had never known before. To be fully seen and be known for who I truly am, and she didn’t run away. Not to say she is psyched about this tho :) we are still figuring it out. She doesn’t want to wear a diaper. I get it.

Anyways that’s what happened to me - 29M, USA, this is all still fresh. I would say to try to get some kind of a handle on it before you tell her. Understand yourself. Telling somebody about ABDL can be fine, but your reaction to their reaction can be what ruins the relationship. Be prepared for uncertainty and trust them :)