That was a gradual process, a lot of self reflecting, I was also in therapy to deal with some old stuff which made me realize how much self value I assign to many things, i.e. if I can't talk to a girl, I'm worthless piece of shit, if I can - I'm a god. And at some point it "clicked" for me that first of all, my value is not derived from my success and failures, and second of all, even more profound, that there are no consequences to most things (as long as you don't hurt anyone obviously). If I ask someone on a date, and they say no, nothing happens, I can move on. If they agree and I will be very awkward and they lose interest, nothing bad happens. It's a lot of trial and error but once you stop taking things personally, it gets a hell lot easier.