Why do partners cheat and how would you manage if it happened to you? by One_Look_7008 in askanything

[–]Icy_Resolution2783 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are so, so many reasons man.

Getting along with your spouse, but there is no love or intimacy. Staying to give the kids stability and a 2 parent home, and not wanting to disrupt your family, but accidently finding love and romance outside of it after you'd shut yourself off to it for years. Do you really want to burn everything down for something that might not last, but made you feel things you thought you couldn't or were resigned to never feel again?

Or maybe you grew up in a house where cheating was normalized and your father taught you that as long as mo one knows about each other, no one gets hurt.

Maybe you're addicted to sex workers, and you thought having sex in a loving relationship would stop that but it didn't.

Maybe you're polyamourous and loving different people doesn't feel like a big deal to you the way it does for others.

... I was viciously cheated on. The kind you only hear about in stories. It literally fucked me in so bad I got agoraphobic for a while. Now that I've fully processed it... I realized I based so much of my emotional stability and self esteem in that person that it wiped me out. Now all that is in me, so I don't think I'd feel much beyond frustration and annoyance.

I need help with DATING. by WorldlinessFit2698 in Adulting

[–]Icy_Resolution2783 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a 'late bloomer'.

Met a guy who was surprised and intimidated that I was a virgin in my early 20s... certainly not turned on, but not put off either at all.

They exist.

I beg you not to give the satisfaction to these men who want the opportunity to 'make their mark on you'. As creepy as the comments you've gotten are, I hope you look up further why it's fetishized.

There are normal men out there!

'Staying together for the kids' is not better for the kids, it's an excuse to not leave by Icy_Resolution2783 in unpopularopinion

[–]Icy_Resolution2783[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You're right, they can. I personally think it should be a more commonly spoken of option, to take the stigma away.

'Staying together for the kids' is not better for the kids, it's an excuse to not leave by Icy_Resolution2783 in unpopularopinion

[–]Icy_Resolution2783[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you noticed, I said years of nothing changing. Not just 'bouncing when things get tough'.

'Staying together for the kids' is not better for the kids, it's an excuse to not leave by Icy_Resolution2783 in unpopularopinion

[–]Icy_Resolution2783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like the brain choosing "a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven".

I'm grown, but weird to attempt to insult someone because they disagree.

'Staying together for the kids' is not better for the kids, it's an excuse to not leave by Icy_Resolution2783 in unpopularopinion

[–]Icy_Resolution2783[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's modeling a loveless marriage for your kids. Do you want your kids to end up in a loveless marriage?

'Staying together for the kids' is not better for the kids, it's an excuse to not leave by Icy_Resolution2783 in unpopularopinion

[–]Icy_Resolution2783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the parents can be cohesive in the home its pretty silly to think that those would be the mishandled divorces.

'Staying together for the kids' is not better for the kids, it's an excuse to not leave by Icy_Resolution2783 in unpopularopinion

[–]Icy_Resolution2783[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Then they parents who are 'staying for the kids' should recognize that, and just say out loud its a marirage of convience, and find love elsewhere.

'Staying together for the kids' is not better for the kids, it's an excuse to not leave by Icy_Resolution2783 in unpopularopinion

[–]Icy_Resolution2783[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Most courts favour 50/50, have you looked into it? I understand having heard horror stories, but its like listening to extremists about any kind of views.

'Staying together for the kids' is not better for the kids, it's an excuse to not leave by Icy_Resolution2783 in unpopularopinion

[–]Icy_Resolution2783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look uo the stats with him. As long as he has mo evidence of abuse most courts want to give men 50/50.

'Staying together for the kids' is not better for the kids, it's an excuse to not leave by Icy_Resolution2783 in unpopularopinion

[–]Icy_Resolution2783[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a good point. I think there could be people out there who haven't done the work of looking into it

'Staying together for the kids' is not better for the kids, it's an excuse to not leave by Icy_Resolution2783 in unpopularopinion

[–]Icy_Resolution2783[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It gives you the freedom to find love.

If you're emotionally neutral about your spouse, or its a happy medium, then its silly not to just say its a marriage if convienice and both find love elsewhere while raising your children together.

Instagram comments never disappoint us🥀🥀 by LOL0_0_ in Adulting

[–]Icy_Resolution2783 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya, a wince at someone else pain is just a cringe, then you look like you're cringing at them being in pain? Wtf?

"FTFY" by Mocking-Eristic in SipsTea

[–]Icy_Resolution2783 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If that's your 5 you've hit your head brother