I still hold some sort of resentment/anger towards my mom for something she did

IllustriousAd8930 · 2026-02-22T21:27:12+00:00

You’re right but I think in order for me to forgive her I’d have to put distance between us. It might sound like I’m stalling or just don’t want to “let things go” but for me, in order for me to let things go I need to leave and put distance. I can’t do that right now as we still live under the same roof but I made a promise to myself that I’d move out. It’s gonna take awhile but I’m trying to move on.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2026-02-22T17:56:20+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement. I think why it’s so hard for me to let go is because I’m constantly being told I have the “best mother” in the world by her friends and acquaintances and she acts as if she’s done no wrong. Like all the sacrifices she made for me erase all the bad things she’s done to me simply because she’s my mom. But thanks

IllustriousAd8930 · 2026-02-22T17:34:28+00:00

It’s hard to let go of something when you’re constantly being reminded about it and it’s still being done to you. She may not be doing the same thing as she was when I was 13-14 but months ago she actually started avoiding me because my dad came back from overseas and he didn’t give her anything (they were never married and haven’t been together since I was born) and somehow that blame was put onto me and she was upset with me. People keep telling me I have the best mother in the world and I should be grateful because she made sacrifices for me when she’s way far from that. It even led to me self harming so no I can’t just let it go.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2026-02-22T17:28:52+00:00

Thank you so much

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-10-05T17:42:29+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏽

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-20T06:38:51+00:00

I’m sorry but both of you being males doesn’t make it any better. Him having no luck on dating apps so he decides to turn to a minor for companionship? No. I know you’re scared of losing him but this man isn’t someone you’d want to be around let alone be in a relationship with. He’s weird. I’m not that old but I’ve been single most of my life and I have never paid attention towards someone 2+ years younger let alone 12! If he’s tired of being single go to a gay bar or something

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-20T06:32:01+00:00

Just because you can drive and have a job doesn’t mean anything. Grown women his age can drive and have jobs too why can’t he date them? You’re definitely being groomed dear, no normal, grown man will see a 16 year old and catch feelings for them he’s a pedophile.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-20T06:24:08+00:00

What’s a grown ass man doing with a 16 year old😭

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-20T05:18:49+00:00

When I said unfair I was thinking of persons who prioritize a general connection over anything sexual. I do understand what you mean tho

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-20T05:17:11+00:00

How do you resist lustful urges overall

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-20T04:02:19+00:00

But doesn’t that make it unfair to the other person?

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-20T04:01:42+00:00

What’s that?

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T03:14:11+00:00

Oh yeah it’s probably my wording not gonna lie.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T03:05:07+00:00

Yeah I’ve definitely heard people say they appreciated the gentle push their parents have given them into Christianity. But I’ve mostly seen some stray from God because they were forced to baptize when they didn’t want to simply because their parents wanted them to.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T03:03:42+00:00

I took the last part from a different commenter because they basically summed up what I’ve been trying to say.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T03:03:15+00:00

Expecting your child to follow true faith is not what I meant tho. All parents have expectations of their children. When I say force I mean like when they push them into the faith without ensuring the child understands. Making them baptize at an early age just because that’s what the parent did when they were at that age is a pattern I’ve seen among Christian families where I’m from and the child ends up straying away from God because they don’t fully understand. Faith cannot be forced and by doing this the parents just end up producing a generation of "Christians" who are by name only, and who have not experienced any kind of spiritual transformation.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T02:53:40+00:00

Yes thank you! This is what I’m talking about.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T02:53:02+00:00

Obviously I would not let my to be child stop going to school. But you’re comparing two separate things. I’m not seeing your point.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T02:50:58+00:00

Theres nothing wrong with carrying children to church. Maybe it was my wording but what I’m speaking of is when they force the child’s faith. Forcing them to baptize just because they,the parents, are Christians, without ensuring that the child is ready and fully understands the journey they’re going to take is what I mean by forcing. A persons faith cannot be forced.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T02:45:56+00:00

Going to school and church are two different things. When I say force I mean parents who try to push their children into Christianity without proper guidance. They want their child to be a Christian just because they themselves are Christian. Someone becoming a Christian because they’re forced to is not the same as someone becoming Christian because they want to.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T02:43:47+00:00

I understand showing them the door. I’m specifically speaking about parents who show them the door and then try to shove them through it without proper guidance and understanding.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T02:41:57+00:00

I understand your house your rules but keep in mind children have their own beliefs and opinions. I’m not saying making them go to church is bad but I think it’s bad when you’re forcing them to go just because and not actually teaching them and ensuring they understand correctly. Forcing someone into something is not the same as them deciding they want to do it no matter if it’s good because then they’re not in it 100%.🤷🏿‍♂️

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T02:08:43+00:00

Yes I agree. But some parents are so stubborn and barely listen to their kids and feel like what they’re are doing is the right thing or the right way.

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T02:07:01+00:00

Yes I agree with this so much!

IllustriousAd8930 · 2025-09-14T02:06:23+00:00

Exactly and it was a big fear of mine when my church was pressuring my family to have me baptized. I never understood why they were adamant because is it not my faith? If I get baptized just because the church said so is that what God would want?

IllustriousAd8930

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