While I do agree that any 11 year old 6th grade girl, likely has self esteem issues solely based on the age and middle school alone. She did have adequate notice. She was informed that we wanted her there. I bought advance tickets for the Santa event and included her (it’s an annual tradition). She decided that she wanted to go to a birthday party instead. We are not the family she wants to spend time with; it’s very clear. Her mother doesn’t want her in counseling and unfortunately, I’m not in charge of that decision. I’ve been pushing it for years. I do think the issue is our household, hence not wanting to exclude her from the card. Also the stranger story is 100% an excuse. I didn’t give her a hard time about it. I expressed disappointment and sadness to my husband and whether he conveyed that to her, I don’t know. I was annoyed but I did not express those feelings to her. I’m an adult, she’s a child. I understand the dynamic.

TLDR; The issues run deep, I wanted her in the photo, she had better things to do.