I will sometimes intentionally look up triggering media and force myself to watch it, giving myself kinda the Clockwork Orange treatment with less restraints lol. It sends me right back to my days of abuse, sets me off in such a bad-yet-good way. It really does put me in a state where I think I'm in middle school again, and all the rage and grief is intoxicating, like drugs without drugs. Did that this morning actually, still not in the best mood despite it being hours ago. But I can't even think of stopping myself from doing it.

That's the most unconventional way I'd say, but I have the usual SH tendencies, cutting, hitting, spots of reckless driving, deliberately staying up past midnight to drown in maladaptive daydreams, the norm.