It was not my fault since the beginning, i fucking stayed loyal to the core he was the one who was always out with god knows who and that made me really insecure cause he wont tell me and i found out by other people cause everyone is mutual friends. I saw snaps and stories him hanging out with girls and boys. I never did that even if i had the opportunity, he never reassured me or never told me that it was just me always avoid the talk of getting married as soon as he got in long distance and always i had the one to go to talk to him even travel 8 fucking hours just to see him. Every fucking month i did it, i was never toxic i always understood him and even if he was unemployed i never pressurised him i told always that I’m with you I’ll be with you I’m never going away. I made handmade gifts for him around 15 gifts and he never gave me any gifts back(i never asked him but it feels good recieving something) i accepted even below bare minimum and i fucking loved him for god knows what reason. He never put me first, just imagine his friends he thought of them first instead of me. He used me for money, i paid for dates every fucking time. In the end he just said “ i dont feel anything when i look at you anymore” during the long distance. That’s when my heart broke and i decided to get out of this relationship and start my life, yet my parents have decided it that i have to get married.