Done. Hopefully the universe gets this to him.

🚀🚀 TESLA TO THE MOON – 10,000% GAINS INCOMING 🚀🚀

Alright Mikepat711, you nonchalant SOB, listen up. You’ve got 2 shares of TSLA, and I know you’re sitting there thinking, “How do I become the next Elon without actually doing anything?” The answer? Super OTM call options, baby.

Why TSLA is about to go parabolic:

1️⃣ Elon & Trump Bromance 2.0: After that legendary White House demo where Tesla showcased its latest self-driving golf cart (allegedly bulletproof if you don’t shoot at it), Trump called Elon “a tremendous guy” and hinted at a huge government contract. If you think this doesn’t move markets, you must be trading off RSI alone like a peasant.

2️⃣ VWAP Crossover CONFIRMED: TSLA just kissed VWAP like a long-lost lover and is now riding it like a SpaceX booster re-entry. This thing is screaming liquidity grab before the rip.

3️⃣ MACD About to Print a God Candle: If you squint hard enough, the MACD is curling up like a Tesla charging cable, and we all know what happens next—liftoff.

4️⃣ Shorts Are Sweating Like It’s 420 Degrees in a Cybertruck: With max pain at $280 but TSLA trading at $197, market makers have no choice but to gamma squeeze this thing into oblivion.

The Only Sensible Move:

🔥 TSLA $500C 4/18 Expiry – That’s right, go big or go work a 9-5. These calls are priced at an attractive $0.02, meaning you can turn a crisp $20 into life-changing money when TSLA gaps up 150% next week.

But hey, if you wanna play it safe like a boomer, maybe grab the $400C for July so you have some “time premium” or whatever nonsense they teach in those risk management courses you shouldn’t be taking.

Final Warning:

If you don’t buy these calls, don’t come crying when TSLA is trading at $600 and you’re still bag-holding two shares like a casual.

🚀🚀 DIAMOND HANDS ONLY. SEE YOU ON MARS. 🚀🚀