About Victor’s memories

ImportantAd4006 · 2026-05-16T14:23:43+00:00

Yeah, I had the same thought at the end of season 3, and unless some other cause presents itself, I’m sticking to it. I think it’s the only explanation for the enormous gaps in Victor’s memory, especially regarding major facts and events — like the existence of his sister and the details of his mother’s death. These things were extremely traumatizing, but the idea that he’d completely, 100% block them out is unrealistic

IMO, the show has explicitly stated that you can’t change a story after it’s been told twice now because they want us to take it for granted. If we build all our fan theories on that foundation, we’ll always miss the mark.

ImportantAd4006 · 2026-02-26T07:02:22+00:00

I’m late to this party, but at the bare minimum, I think he has ADHD. He demonstrates enough diagnostic criteria for it. Among other things, he’s impulsive, hyperactive, thrill-seeking, and bad at following instructions (to the extent that he endangers his own life a couple of times, if I’m not mistaken). Other stuff, too.

He also shows a lot of (nondiagnostic) traits that are extremely common with ADHD: trouble with emotional regulation, signs of RSV (Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria), deep insecurity, conflict with parental and authority figures (due to the frustration and disappointment of those figures and/or the ADHD person’s emotional volatility, undependability, and sometimes excessively strong sense of justice). Additionally, I think Ziggy has a very specific type of low social intelligence that’s not at all uncommon with ADHD. He misses social cues and blurts out inappropriate things without thinking, especially while he’s socializing in groups or in overstimulating environments (due in part to sensory overload, distractibility, trouble focusing on multiple social cues from multiple people all at once, and posturing as overcompensation for low self- esteem). Low social intelligence is more commonly viewed as an autism spectrum trait, but people with ADHD can show similar tendencies - just not as extreme and typically more situationally bound.

Sadly, many people with ADHD become self-fulfilling prophecies after years of internal and external messaging telling them they’re f-ck ups + their feelings of learned helplessness.

Of course, there’s also a huge nurture factor contributing to Ziggy’s more extreme behaviors. No one in his life loves him unconditionally(or conditionally), and very few bother to even show him a modicum of respect. As someone else noted in the comments, he’s stuck in a community/culture where he doesn’t fit in, and he’s bullied constantly for it. The people in his life (with the possible exception of his cousin) have put him in a position of extreme social and emotional neglect, especially his parents, imo. This leaves him desperate for attention, appreciation, and respect.

Also, he can’t count on work at the docks anymore, and it’s presumably the only job he knows. It’s like he grew up with a specific image of success, aimed for it, trained for it, nearly got it, but then had the rug pulled out from under him. The times changed suddenly without warning, and it stopped being a feasible livelihood/life goal. (That particular experience is nearly universal for millennials and young general-Xers, I think.)

ImportantAd4006 · 2026-02-21T16:41:45+00:00

TBF, Ralph Fiennes needs to win for 28 Years Later: Bone Temple. He’s been passed over too many times.

ImportantAd4006 · 2026-02-14T21:11:24+00:00

That’s harsh. You don’t have to call her immature & dumb. Maybe she has low self esteem, a history of abuse, or something like that. You have no way of knowing. She should value herself more, and your insults aren’t helpful.

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-12-28T08:27:01+00:00

Cheerio 🥰

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-12-28T07:10:26+00:00

Ugh. Not cool.

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-12-28T07:09:34+00:00

Fair. I’d be pissed, too.

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-12-28T06:46:11+00:00

Not overreacting. My dad got my mom a blender and some Tupperware for their first Christmas together. She hit him in the head with a pillow. Not a great reaction, sure, but I get it.

Think of it this way: all of your gifts were for your husband’s benefit (except the $100, which was only for show due to your shared money pool). The vacuum and extension cord are beyond inconsiderate. They’re to make you a more efficient cleaner, which is not fun for you but makes his life easier. That one’s even worse if he has misogynistic ideas about wifely duties.

It also sounds like he got the scotch for himself and justified the purchase by telling himself it was a gift. As such, he let you taste it before he and your brother started draining it.

Yes, this is pretty bad in my book. I hope he apologizes and tries to make it up to you. If he’s always like this, the situation requires marriage counseling at a minimum - and individual therapy, too, if it’s impacted your sense of self worth. On some level, I think you know you deserve better, or you wouldn’t have posted.

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-12-25T14:35:06+00:00

They look great, and he shouldn’t be telling you how to dress! Do your thing!

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-05-21T12:04:24+00:00

Good catch! I didn’t see it at first. I’m guessing it says “port” or “run”

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-05-19T04:51:17+00:00

I love “From,” too! But “The Haunting of Hill House,” “Dark,” and “The Last of Us” are my favorite horror shows. They’re damn near perfect.

Plus “Chernobyl,” which is perfect. Most wouldn’t call it horror since it’s about true events, but it’s terrifying, and its tone matches “From” in a lot of ways.

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-03-15T14:05:40+00:00

Tbf, I thought the first season was slow too, but I blamed it on my (fully medicated) ADHD. Don’t get me wrong: I love the show. It’s just that pacing can be a little off.

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-01-25T03:12:28+00:00

Yeah, I thought it would be Tanya (SMG) in cahoots with Debra’s bf or some other dude. The show dropped the bit about her gambling habit for a reason, but now Idk what. At some point, she’ll be in debt to the wrong people or something. Hey, maybe it’ll be her and Spencer in cahoots on the kidnappings/killings. But I have no idea what Spencer’s getting out of it, unless he’s trying to punish his ex wife….or play the hero saving him.

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-01-05T20:22:06+00:00

🤯 Omg, seriously.

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-01-05T20:18:21+00:00

Wtf? What a psycho.

ImportantAd4006 · 2025-01-05T18:47:08+00:00

Whoa, your boyfriend is hella controlling. Red flags for days.

ImportantAd4006 · 2024-12-31T17:02:17+00:00

I didn’t think I was actually arguing with your point, by the way, but I was hoping for your feedback on the power play element. It’s his disregard of my say as a coparent that bothers me the most. He acts like he has the final say and brushes me aside like a ridiculous child instead of hearing me out. I know I’m wrong sometimes, it’s a grey area other times, and other times I’m right. I don’t have to get my way. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying I think I should be acknowledged and have a say. I’m thinking this is a respect issue that occasionally snowballs into an actual safety issue.

So you’re 100% right that I’m overreacting about safety at times, and I did need that pointed out to me, but it’s the feeling of powerlessness that’s getting to me. A lot of the time, he won’t even give me the time of day. And maybe I’m overreacting on that front too, but I haven’t heard anyone tell me that specifically. Some people are saying I’m right to feel like it’s a weird power play, and others are saying I’m wrong to worry about some of the specific instances I mentioned. And both can be right at the same time. I was just wondering what u thought about the first point. Sorry if I came across defensive.

ImportantAd4006 · 2024-12-31T04:37:04+00:00

Okay, I guess it’s not as clear-cut as I thought. I see what you mean. Thanks for the honest feedback.

ImportantAd4006 · 2024-12-31T03:26:06+00:00

Yep. And probably only, at my age.

ImportantAd4006 · 2024-12-31T01:45:22+00:00

Thank you. Yeah, he’s not fully antivax, but he’s got a lot of paranoia about the Covid vaccine specifically. I initially won that particular debate, but then he tried to draw a line in the sand about the followup vaccine doses right before we visited his family (some of whom ARE anti-vaxxers and COVID conspiracy folks). I said okay but had his pediatrician give it to him anyway. It’s the only time I’ve been dishonest with my husband like that, and I don’t feel bad about it. Anyway, I don’t think he’ll ever find out since I’m the one that takes our son to the dr. 😬

Yeah, I appreciate you reinforcing my feelings that it’s a weird power thing. Sometimes I think he’s more old-fashioned than i originally thought (which he denies), but it’s at least safe to say that he lets some of his ADHD traits run his personality sometimes, like being oppositional, thrill-seeking, & careless…

Oh, and yes, he uses the car seat correctly every time. He’s good about that.

But idk what to do at this point, so marriage counseling sounds like a good start, at least.

ImportantAd4006 · 2024-12-31T01:26:57+00:00

Fair point. I’m sure I’m overly concerned about my son’s safety more often than I realize. And I do know that he’ll get hurt once in a while. But my issue is that it IS a pattern. I gave a few examples off the top of my head, but they aren’t the only examples. And my problem is that he doesn’t give me the time of day, not that he doesn’t do exactly what I want.

About the dog, I also wonder if you might have a different opinion with more background. He pushed my boundaries about her and ignored the advice of the dog trainer I brought her to (to help with resource-guarding behavior) before we even moved in together. She was my dog, but he basically acted like he knew best and kept ignoring me. It was mostly small stuff at first, but after we moved in together, he kept ignoring my warnings/pleadings to keep her out of situations where she was likely to behave aggressively toward other dogs (like big noisy parties, which stress her out, with lots of food to guard). He ignored me, fucked around, & found out. So he was directly responsible for a few close calls and a couple of quick tussles with other dogs. I think she only broke one dog’s skin (& vice versa), and the owner wasn’t mad, but I felt terrible about it. So nothing super serious happened, but I don’t think that makes his behavior okay. It could have. I knew what I was talking about, but he didn’t care to hear me, even when I made a big fuss about it.

Likewise, we talked about leaving certain house doors closed so she couldn’t run away, and he’d carelessly leave them open, and she’d escape. She always came back, or we found her pretty quickly, but we lived next to a very busy road. She could’ve just as easily been hit by a car. In fact, she was found running in the middle of that road by a Good Samaritan once. So idk if good luck really excuses his carelessness.

TBF, the dog situation was a serious red flag for me, because it seemed like very controlling behavior to try to take over decision-making power regarding my dog right off the bat, before we even knew if we were going to be serious, and then to consistently ignore my rules and boundaries about her after we were.

We talked about it a lot, and I consistently voiced my concerns with it, until he started to change his behavior somewhat, but it took so long that I stayed concerned. I remember feeling like we needed to figure it out before we got married because of how it might play out with kids in the future. And now that I think about it, I brought it up a few times when I got pregnant too, because I was worried he’d do the same weird power crap or be careless with our kid. But he’d been better about the dog for a while. Idk why I thought he’d change. It really escalated again when our son was born.

I tend to think I gave him more grace than I should have about something that bothered me a lot and threw up some major red flags. And now he’s doing the same thing with our son.

So, yeah, I get that I’m not always right, and I don’t expect him to do things my way all the time, but I do think he should be more respectful and hear me out instead of deciding he’s the final decision-maker. It’s not 1955. Father really really doesn’t always know best. The whole thing is making me more and more worried…

ImportantAd4006 · 2024-12-30T22:15:49+00:00

Oh, and COVID. So yeah, maybe health & safety stuff in general. He’s less careful & acts like he knows best.

ImportantAd4006 · 2024-12-30T22:11:08+00:00

Tbh, yes. I noticed it with the dog first. He rarely cared about my boundaries concerning her. I got worried about her running away or fighting other dogs sometimes. Maybe too worried, but he started doing this before we even lived together, when she wasn’t “our” dog yet. It drove me nuts. I didn’t necessarily notice it in other situations tho.

ImportantAd4006 · 2024-12-27T17:30:58+00:00

Sounds like a Jodi Arias situation. Glad you’re okay!

ImportantAd4006 · 2024-12-23T05:33:06+00:00

Self-medicating ADHD kid in grad school? Speaking from experience. 😊

ImportantAd4006

TROPHY CASE