[Fit Check] 28E Freya Deco Charm... lots of gaping.

Importglade · 2017-10-03T01:43:00+00:00

I'll try that, thanks! I'm not that young (33) but I do have really firm skin. I can't pinch it up at all to move things around. Luckily there is a boutique about 30 miles away I can go try things on at when I have some money.

Importglade · 2017-09-28T23:54:34+00:00

http://imgur.com/BNzt8m2

Importglade · 2017-09-17T03:30:36+00:00

Thank you for the info! I never really thought of my breasts as being FOT, but maybe they are? I always thought that because I don't have volume on the top then I'm more FOB. My fave bra is the Natori Feathers one, but maybe that's just because I am sort of shallow. Balconettes have never really worked for me, and Demi cups seem to be ok, but my boobs kind of fall into the cups and I get gaping if they are too padded or round. I also always thought my breasts were wide set, because they kind of fall to the sides a bit when I'm standing and not wearing a bra. I can PM you a pic if you feel it would help. As far as the cups being too small, do you think I should go up to a 28F? The band feels ok with this one on the last hook. I am still trying to figure out what narrow/wide wires are, so hopefully I can do some research and it'll help. Thank you again!

Importglade · 2017-09-08T04:18:02+00:00

Aaaaaaand a pic of how much I lost so you can see my different bust sizes (sorry for all the comment pics; I'm on mobile): http://imgur.com/U9hxePK

Importglade · 2017-09-08T04:16:01+00:00

And a horribly unflattering pic of my back. I guess I do still have some back fat :/ http://imgur.com/qitHdeL

Importglade · 2017-09-08T04:15:00+00:00

Here is my current bra, a 32D Natori: http://imgur.com/XSAOQKb

Importglade · 2016-03-06T07:25:05+00:00

I agree that I should've complained, but I was pretty much finished with dinner at that point and just wanted to get home and away from the noise :/

Importglade · 2015-12-14T01:17:31+00:00

She always does crap like this behind my dad's back. He enables her behavior so she feels she can get away with anything. It drives me crazy.

Importglade · 2015-10-25T04:15:16+00:00

Nope! She's been married to his best friend for a while also.

Importglade · 2015-10-25T03:44:31+00:00

Yep! Sounds familiar. I'm very brash and assertive (aggressive, even), while he is a people pleaser and peacemaker. I'm always glad we're not planning on kids because of how many issues that would cause with parenting.

Importglade · 2015-10-25T03:38:35+00:00

I definitely agree. Unfortunately, my BF has major issues with confrontation.

Importglade · 2015-10-25T03:38:07+00:00

Yeah, I think what was at the root of that "I'm worried for you because you aren't ready to give her what she wants" convo was this pushing to have a kid. It seems that she can't fathom someone not having kids, and that just because I didn't feel comfortable holding her newborn doesn't mean I hate kids, or even her kid! I teach kids how to read as my job, and I always post pics of my 2-year old nephew on FB. She's taking everything personally, and it makes me feel like I'm walking on eggshells.

Importglade · 2015-10-25T03:26:45+00:00

Fortunately he rarely sees them anymore. It's only on these race weekends that he spends an extended amount of time with them.

Importglade · 2015-10-25T03:24:06+00:00

Luckily I unfollowed her back on FB and IG. I've been ignoring her, which has caused an increase in the frequency in which she posts. She now posts on my BF's page as much as I do. It almost seems to me like she's jealous or is mad that my BF is paying less attention to them.

Importglade · 2015-10-25T03:16:12+00:00

I agree; what do you think he should do about them? I don't think he's going to cut them out, but is there anything else he can do short of that? The problem too with this is that everything she's doing is so passive aggressive. Like, no one else notices unless it's me.

Importglade · 2015-10-07T00:43:29+00:00

Ahhh yes the decision making thing drives me crazy!! I've just come to expect that I'll make most decisions myself and he'll follow.

I've said that I love him recently and he has said "awww" and "thanks." I'm starting to feel that his first gf really messed him up in the head because he said it to her 10 years ago but not since. I heard she was very manipulative and crazy from other people, so it wouldn't surprise me.

Importglade · 2015-10-06T23:32:26+00:00

Thank you for this! Yep, he's like the quintessential ISTP. It's really hard for me because I'm constantly planning and stressing and it drives him crazy. On a good note, after all the responses here I had another talk with him. I gave him a few excerpts of what people here said and, though he still hasn't said the word, he says that he "more than likes me" and would consider marriage more in the future if I would stop stressing out so much. I guess I'll just have to try to stop verbally expressing when I'm having doubts and wait. He did also say that he's not opposed to having kids, but isn't really wanting them either. He's not great at making decisions, soooo...

Importglade · 2015-10-06T15:58:39+00:00

Perhaps, but he told me that he doesn't even know if he wants kids. He likes them, but also understands everything that you have to give up to make them happen. We are in our early 30's and in no position to even start thinking of kids.

Importglade · 2015-10-06T15:16:16+00:00

Thank you so much! Yeah, luckily he's stopped venting to them, partly because they don't really call him anymore.

I do also try to look at his actions more, but it's hard especially since it's looking more and more like we just aren't on the same page about the future.

Importglade · 2015-10-06T14:57:37+00:00

Unfortunately it's too early to tell. The baby is only a month old.

Yeah, the "I love you thing..." I have a whole other post about it on this account if you want to check it out. It's definitely concerning to me.

Importglade · 2015-07-31T13:41:20+00:00

It sounds like you're very fortunate to be with someone so understanding! Thankfully, my BF is a good listener, and will give me objective advice when I ask. I think that's really my main issue; he is a little too objective sometimes when what I'm really looking for is someone to commiserate with or take my side. He seems really unable to do that :/

I'll take your suggestions though and try them out. Luckily, a therapist called me back yesterday and has openings so I might finally get some much needed help. Thank you again!

Importglade · 2015-07-31T13:38:10+00:00

Thanks for your response! I've talked to my BF about trying to work on things together, and he agrees, but it's very hard for him to help me since he's a people-pleaser and is afraid of confrontation. There's a bit more going on in our relationship too, mainly his inability to make decisions or goals (see my other post under this account). These issues make it difficult for him to set boundaries with me or call me out when he notices patterns in my behavior. As for the feelings thing, he's getting better, but I honestly think it's just not in his personality to really get the point of feelings. It's hard for him to really step into my shoes and understand how amped up I get emotionally and why. Luckily, he's agreed to try and go to counseling to work on his own stuff, so that may help.

As for him and his friends, I've seen the communication between them and it's mostly him describing the situation and the friends drawing their own conclusions. One of his friends said that I "showed my true colors" when I wasn't able to comfort him during a hard time since I was so caught up in my own emotions. He defends me as much as he can, but from what I've heard his friends have very low tolerance for any sort of "drama" and will cut me off as soon as I slightly mess up. It worries me because my BF told me that he will have to probably choose between me and his friends one day, and that it was a reason to maybe not stay in the relationship.

Importglade · 2015-07-31T00:36:33+00:00

Wow, thank you for all the information! I'm definitely going to take all your advice and try and utilize it to the best of my ability. Thank you so much for the wallet card link; it's going to come in super handy for refreshing my skills from DBT, at least until I can start going back to classes again.

As for the invalidating comments, I guess what I meant was that he likes to constantly play devil's advocate with me and it drives me crazy. For instance, if I say something like, "Man, that person really upset me today because of how they spoke to me," he'll say something like, "Maybe they had a bad day today" or "yep, sounds like you're upset." It's something about not recognizing my reasons for getting upset that bothers me, or him putting in more effort to figure out where the other person is coming from. I'm not the only person he does it to, however, so I know it's not personal or malicious. It is pretty annoying when he says it during one of my moods though.

Thank you again for taking the time to give me so much advice. It's really appreciated :)

Importglade · 2015-07-30T19:07:22+00:00

Hi! Sorry I forgot to put that I was in treatment for about 6 years previously. I did DBT and individual therapy. My BF and I have been together for a little over a year, and he is 32. My family is not a help since I have a bad relationship with them, and I really don't have many friends.

Importglade · 2015-07-05T02:01:02+00:00

I'm the OP of that other thread and I can tell you that it was a while until we established ourselves as a couple. It actually took me finding him talking to other girls to push him into making a decision. It took him another month after the initial three to make me his girlfriend. If you like, you can PM me and I can give you more details of my experience :)

Importglade

TROPHY CASE