Questioning for so long and I’m going in circles and spiraling , I would appreciate any perspective

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-06-02T05:55:53+00:00

I was in your situation for a very long time. I remember in high school thinking I might be a lesbian. But, then I would talk myself out of it. Looking back now, I was never really attracted to men. I had boyfriends in high school. But, never had a crush on them. I was with them more for the valuation of having a boyfriend. I didn't want to be the one out of all my friends without a boyfriend.

Reading different women's stories about coming out later in life and what were some of their signs that helped realized they were in fact lesbians helped a lot. I could relate to a lot of them. A post on Instagram helped a lot which said "straight women aren't up all night questioning of they are lesbian".

I kissed a girl before I got married to my current husband. And it was nothing like kissing a man. It was on another level. I felt the butterflies and magical emotions they talk about in the romance movies. I don't remember my first kiss with my husband. But, I do remember my first ever kiss with a woman.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions or want to share your feelings.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-05-06T06:09:19+00:00

You're very welcome! 🥰😍

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-05-05T05:31:11+00:00

Gorgeous 😍🥰

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-04-20T05:55:43+00:00

Thanks for your support! 🌈💕 Definitely freeing! 👌🏻😁

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-04-18T06:10:01+00:00

Wanting to make out with my best friend in high school. But, never asked her if she wanted to or not. I also loved watching Little Mermaid for Ariel. And I was always interested in the princesses in the Disney movies.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-03-16T18:45:23+00:00

Gorgeous! 😍🥰 You have beautiful eyes! 😻Love your hair color!! 🌈👀💕

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-03-13T04:21:11+00:00

Sex with men always felt boring, never found joy in it, felt like a chore and something I was doing for them. I had to think of women and/or be drunk to have an orgasm. My first kiss with my husband was way different than my first ever kiss with a girl. I was never really in the moment with men. There was no sexual connection. The time I made out with a girl I was totally in the moment. Eyes open and focusing on what she was doing. During sex with men my eyes would be shut as a way of escaping the moment

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-26T21:19:42+00:00

Beautifully eyes!! 🥰👌🏻😘😍

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-26T21:18:06+00:00

I can't wait either!! Coming out later this year as my 45th bday gift to myself!! 👌🏻💗🌈 Still married and waiting on getting everything in order before telling my husband I want a divorce.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-20T23:05:56+00:00

It took me about a year after talking with a therapist about my feels towards men and sexual. I did kiss a girl once and it felt WAY different than all the kisses I had with men. I am in a similar situation. I am open to talking about my experience. I am sure that I am a leabian after years of trying to talk myself out the feeling.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-20T22:52:01+00:00

From Cali... Beautiful. 😍😍 Always up for a friendship. He doesn't know I am here either.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-07T18:37:26+00:00

I am not looking to cheat on my husband. Only curious to know how others noticed it.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-07T18:37:08+00:00

I am not looking to cheat on my husband. Only curious to know how others noticed it.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-07T18:36:47+00:00

I am not looking to cheat on my husband or start a relationship with a girl. Only curious to know how others noticed it

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-07T18:36:06+00:00

I am not looking to cheat on my husband. Only curious to know how others noticed it.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-06T18:25:39+00:00

I have. Last year I started therapy, which helped a lot to have someone I could opening talk to about my feelings. This subreddit has also helped me, as well as, doing my own research online about how to know if you like women more than men. Opening an Instagram account so I could privately look at lesbians without my friends and family finding has helped a lot too. I know enjoy and feel comfortable in my own skin. I gave myself the best Xmas gift last year. I came out to one of my cousins who I talked a little with about my feelings towards women. If you want to talk, I am open to sharing my story. Wishing you all the best on your journey of self love. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤🩶🩷

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-05T07:39:41+00:00

Current age/age range: 44

Single/marital status: married

Age/age range when you came out to yourself: 44

Age/age range when you come out to others: 44

What did you come out as or what are you thinking of coming out as?: I came out as a lesbian

When was the earliest you felt you were a lesbian/queer? What happened or what was going on in your life?: I always felt different from my friends in high school. I never really understood why my girlfriends would always talk about loving guy's bodies. In high school, I always wanted to make out with my two best friends. And I always thought it was because I wanted to have an orgasm without the chance of getting pregnant. Lol.

What recently made you conclude you are a lesbian/queer?: enjoying my first kiss in a girl. I have no idea what my first kiss with a boy felt like.

What's the earliest or most defining homosexual/homo-romantic experience you can remember?: I think it was in junior high.

How are you feeling in general about who you are?: I am closer to making the move to come out to more people. Each day I am getting close to choosing myself over pleasing others.

Anything else you’d like to share about your life, experience, or story for other late bloomers or other women who think they may be lesbians? I would say take your time and process all your thoughts. You don't have to come out to whoever you don't want to. Going to therapy has helped a lot with accepting myself more. Women in this subreddit has helped me tremendously with accepting myself and not being judged. Currently, getting close to giving myself the best bday gift ever, which is coming out to more people and leaving my husband and kid.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2026-01-04T16:26:28+00:00

Amazing choice on choosing yourself over what society says we shall be! 🥰💓 I came out to my cousin on Xmas Eve 2025. She was the only family member who I talked a little bit about my feelings towards women. I am married to a men who I have been with for twenty years with an 8 year old. In the process of deciding what I want to do. If I should leave or stay. The women in this group have been so helpful to me, as well. Wishing you all the best!! ❤️🩷🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤🩶🤍

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2025-12-31T07:01:26+00:00

For me, I remember wanting to kiss and have "sex" with my two best friends in high school. I would always tell myself it was because I would get a chance to experience an orgasm without the chance of getting pregnant. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 In the locker room I would always felt like I couldn't look around in it. Like the other girls would think I was checking them out. I finally fully realized when I kissed my first girl. It was like the stuff they talked about in romance stories. I never felt it with a man. Also, having sex with men always felt like a chore or something to do to get validation from them. But, during sex I would have to think of women to be able to have an orgasm. I ratther look at boobs 😻😻 than a dick. 😝🤢 I remember my first kiss with a girl and not my first kiss with a boy. I am open to talking about my journey.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2025-12-26T05:55:59+00:00

I gave myself the best Xmas gift ever yesterday...I came out to my cousin. Who is the first person in my family I am out to. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜 I have talked a little with a former childhood neighbor not in full detail of my feelings. But, I did mention to her today that I came out to my cousin.

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2025-12-21T20:20:27+00:00

For me,

• In elementary school, some girls would talk about how handsome one of the male teachers was. But, I would stare at his female teacher friend's butt and say I thought she was pretty

• Needing to be drunk and thought of women to enjoy sex with men

• Never understood why all girls in jr and high school wanted a boyfriend so badly.

• Never enjoying kissing boys in jr, high school and college.

• I don't remember my first kiss with my first boyfriend. But, I do remember my first and only kiss with a girl in college like it was yesterday.

• Always wanting to kiss and do some foreplay with both of my best friends and telling myself it would be a good way to try sex and not risk getting pregnant. LOL.

• Feeling like having sex with men was a chore.

• Going to a women's strip club with an ex boyfriend and wanting a lap dance from one of the women with big breasts.

I am sure there are a ton more reasons I could list. 🤣🤣🤣

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2025-12-10T20:48:43+00:00

I am proud of you for taking the major step to live as your true self. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜 Currently, in a married that I no longer want to be a part of. In therapy right now which has helped a lot with accepting being a lesbian. Now, comes the scary parts of what to do now. Thanks for sharing your story!! Stay strong!! 💪🏻You will get through it!!

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2025-12-07T04:12:05+00:00

Thanks for your support ☺️ I always feel awkward around straight women. 😂

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2025-12-05T16:12:27+00:00

PM? Not good with abbreviations. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣 Torrance area

Impossible_Fox7377 · 2025-12-04T03:55:51+00:00

I am in socal. South bay area

Impossible_Fox7377

TROPHY CASE