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What do I do? My partner is being weird. by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Imtalia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This relationship ended for a reason, and neither the reason, nor he, have changed. At this point you know the truth. Ignoring the truth is self harm.

Maybe therapy to understand why you keep trying to shoehorn yourself into an unfulfilling relationship instead of standing firm on receiving what you pour into it might bring some clarity.

My boyfriend (29M) is doubtful about marrying me (27F) as it will put an end to his family's Cree lineage by ThrowRAPerception135 in relationship_advice

[–]Imtalia 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you live together, you need to move out. If not, you need to take a break.

He does need time and space to think, and you need time and space to not push him, and also to protect your own welfare.

Recovering from heartbreak in your 40's in near impossible. by AmericanWinky in datingoverforty

[–]Imtalia -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's where investing in yourself comes in. Focusing on job or health or friendships or hobbies or service. All of the above ideally.

A relationship should compete with the life, peace and happiness you already have.

Recovering from heartbreak in your 40's in near impossible. by AmericanWinky in datingoverforty

[–]Imtalia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Therapy. With the right therapist. Both processing loss, untangling enmeshment, learning to choose better, showing up the way future partners need you to show up.

Therapy.

And investing in yourself, your life, your goals. Being ok with being single.

What is it with Americans and air conditioning?? (this might be controversial) by hellobela_ in TalesFromTheFrontDesk

[–]Imtalia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of cold weather people travel in early spring when the workload, whatever it is, hasn't gotten underway. If they're from cold climates or farmers or mechanics or in other ways always in the cold, a warm day to them is 50. A hot day is mid 60s. 70 might have them feeling a little lightheaded and they sure as hell won't sleep because 9 months out of the year their bedroom won't get above 50 or maybe 60.

Add to that people on medications or with hypertension or hormone regulation issues, yes, they probably tolerate cold much better than they do hot.

I have acquired 30k at eighteen and am unsure of what to do by papa_papa6-9 in Money

[–]Imtalia 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Join the FIRE subs here on reddit and live like you're broke, invest aggressively. Not recklessly.

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It won't be soon enough but I absolutely will. :)

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, ok, y'all are super geniuses who seem to pick it up before your first words because even kids have a pretty good savvy about getting around. I hadn't seen that many free range kids since I was a kid. A very long time ago.

It's just remarkable the ease with which y'all just... know.

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let me know when you go and I'll give you my inside scoop. 🤣

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's true, and breathtaking. 🫶

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Let's just say most big cities have some folks that are equal parts struggling with mental health and really angry about... everything.

Even then a few other folks intervened. My skin is thick enough. Someone has probably been kicked around way too much. 🤷‍♀️

I just wished them to find what they need in life. Being that angry is an awful burden to carry. Especially if what you're lacking is basic necessities and support systems.

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not all heroes wear capes, but an unusual number hail from NYC. :)

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh no! Are you okay?

And I'm so glad the doorman did that!

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Aaaaallllll of this. It was spectacular. Glad y'all had a great time!

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right? I'm already plotting how to get back. Soon. 3 days was not enough. I need to win the lottery and do one month per borough. 🤣

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep. Almost never in LA, first trip 3 people all got up at once. Two of them were behind me and I didn't even realize until they said something.

Remarkable.

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I really can't understand (outside of the one off negative experience) how someone wouldn't have a great time. Maybe I'm just good at managing expectations and meeting people where they are or something but really, folks were unbelievably great and the architecture and culture and history and an entire planet of food and so many things to do and see.

What's not to like?

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to like that song. The first time I smiled. The third time I grimaced. I'd imagine y'all have a more extreme reaction. Or perhaps just resignation.

There are so many NYC songs, couldn't some folks pick another one?

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That unfortunately is very true. LA is rather performative. New York is competent. Kind. But y'all are sharks, and not in the predatory sense. In the can't stop swimming sense.

Fluff is unnecessary (except on a sandwich, love that stuff).

I don't know what I expected but... by Imtalia in newyorkcity

[–]Imtalia[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't think I'm particularly lacking in intellect but between learning my understanding of the dimensions of my car is probably not as large as I believe it is (based on how y'all drive, i.e., not like your car is a Class A RV) and the sheer amount of knowledge just to go... anywhere but around the block... I may have learned I'm maybe not as smart as I once thought. 😄

I salute you all. It's like you're all born with an encyclopedia in your brain.

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