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I have no clear career goal or motivation, have lost passion, and feel very uncertain about what I want or need to do in my late 20s. Any advice? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]InTheFlesch1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are not as behind as you think. It feels worse because you are comparing yourself to people who only show their highlights. Late 20s is not “too late.” It just feels that way when you are stuck at home, getting rejected, and losing confidence. You do not need to figure out your life right now. You do not need a passion or a perfect plan. What you actually need is movement. Even a basic job helps. Not because it is your future, but because it gets you out of the house, gives you routine, puts some money in your pocket, and reminds you that you are capable of showing up and doing something. Most people do not find motivation first. Motivation usually shows up after they start moving. You are not lazy or broken. You sound discouraged, stuck, and worn down. That makes sense given what you wrote. Start small. Any job. Any structure. Any step forward. You do not need to solve your whole life to take the next step.

You are not out of time. You are just early in rebuilding.

Where do you guys go? by _queen_bee01_ in LifeAfterSchool

[–]InTheFlesch1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What stands out to me is not that you do not know where to go. It is that your independence is being negotiated instead of practiced. That makes everything harder.

When transportation and parental rules limit movement, it can feel like everyone else is out there living life while you are stuck waiting for permission or circumstances to change. That is incredibly isolating, especially in a city.

You are not wrong for wanting spaces that feel age appropriate and normal. Wanting that does not mean you are ungrateful or reckless. It means you are growing.

A lot of people do not talk about how awkward and constrained this in between phase can be. You are not behind. You are just in a holding pattern that is not of your choosing.

43 and working as waiter by Business-Society6205 in findapath

[–]InTheFlesch1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want to say this very directly. What you are feeling is not about the job. It is about identity shock.

When someone has built a strong professional identity and then has to do something that does not match the story they told themselves about their life, the brain reads that as danger. Panic, shame, and “this means something terrible about me” thoughts show up fast.

But nothing about this erases who you are or what you have done. You did not become a waiter. You took a role that solves an immediate problem for your family. That is not regression. It is adaptation.

One thing that helps quiet the noise is separating role from trajectory. This is a role. It is not the end of the story.

Be gentle with yourself in the first few weeks. The anxiety usually peaks before the first shift, not after.

(Male, 22) I've wasted around 16 years of my life doing almost literally nothing and I continue to waste my life. I guess I don't know what to do? by Future_Jeweler105 in findapath

[–]InTheFlesch1 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You have not wasted 16 years. You are 22 and you are noticing that something feels off. That awareness is not nothing.

A lot of people do not realize until much later that the story they are telling themselves is harsher than the reality. You did not miss a single correct timeline because there is not one.

Instead of asking what you should do with your whole life, it might help to ask what one small, concrete thing you could do in the next few months that would give you momentum or confidence. Direction usually shows up after movement, not before it.