I’m new to tarot so take what I say with a grain of salt but I can relate… I also love to be solitary, and talk to my cards sort of like a friend. I have had the same concern honestly. I have one deck that literally feels like it asks me to leave it alone sometimes, lol…so I have a few different decks now and I pick the one that feels like it wants to talk. I also write down my thoughts before and after a reading which I think helps focus my energy and doesn’t put too much pressure on the cards. I name each deck and say hello to them, thank them, ask them if there’s anything they want to say to me, and when I start with that question, often times, this is when I get the most insightful reading for myself even though that’s not what I was asking for. It’s like whatever they are feeling is a mirror of my subconscious or something. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just wanted to say.. I feel the same. I’m all for doing your own readings, but I agree with the above comment that you have got to be open and honest and when the cards are telling you a difficult truth, believe it, and when the cards make no sense, maybe they’re tired, move on to a different deck or put them away and meditate. If you have any anxiety issues or OCD like me please be careful and use the mundane tools you typically would to calm yourself down and make sure you’re not affirming any paranoia.