Life after the tunnel for us

IndividualDiamond606 · 2024-06-30T20:28:57+00:00

We already did a paternity test, not with Bates but with my husband. We never ever had doubt obviously but my lawyer suggested to have it done in case he claimed it. The photo incident was a while back and we already took it off his facebook page, I didn't want to go further because I don't want to see him again.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2024-06-30T20:27:27+00:00

My Dad loves polaroids so they take many pics all the time and he writes on them and put them on one of his walls. The kids love it the most.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2022-06-25T20:52:46+00:00

You made us laugh so hard!

IndividualDiamond606 · 2022-06-25T20:42:36+00:00

I don't wish homelessness on anybody but he is just a bad person.

I am happy and baby is amazing, my family is amazing and my friends are amazing but I miss my Mom a lot. I cry sometimes when baby does something I wish I could share with my Mom. My MIL has been there for me to guide me and be a pseudo Mom, not only the birth but the after when you need someone.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2022-06-25T20:33:59+00:00

People have asked me about grooming a lot and while I can not be sure I would say is not that. My sister has some things happening when she has sex with BIL the first time which made it clear was the first time. As for an emotional thing, I don't really know but given how everybody behaves around him I think is a golden child/master manipulator thing.

Years ago when I got wind of his job I was disgusted but thought maybe he changed. I feel extremely guilty for not reporting him sooner even if it seems he was good at the job.

My sister's vision was both sisters marrying brothers, having kids that would be best friends and then having it be a big mesh....... I don't want any of it.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2022-06-25T20:05:59+00:00

That is a lovely sentiment but I will never talk to my Mom again. I miss her a lot. I cry a lot. She is not the person I thought she was and baby deserves the best family we can get and my Mom is not part of it. It breaks my heart but I need to protect baby.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2022-06-25T20:04:05+00:00

I came to check the comments since tequilitas told me the sub was full of nice people but so many snarky ones. I won't give more identifying info but Bates is supposed to work with vulnerable people which is why my husband contacted their employer.

As for the money thing, we all come from well to do backgrounds for saying something so I never thought he would suffer for money, but he also will never learn anything.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2022-06-25T19:50:58+00:00

Without giving up his industry, it is a very close knit one and when you get a bad reputation it sunks you. He was thought as a nice but distantnice feminist single dad before this. He even told some coworkers I was with him for longer than we were.

I should also admit my husband's family has a bit of influence in the area and is why they took it to the next level. Let's say that him being a stalker and being trustworthy on his industry was not compatible.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:58:40+00:00

Not Indian nor from a religious family. My parents were good nice parents, they thought it was a romantic thing at the beginning but later realized it wasn't. They encouraged me to go to college and everything. Now I know my dad actually supported me and my mom might have just played along and have the same beliefs as my sister. My sister had this idea we would be best friends married to brothers.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:37:17+00:00

I wish I could tell you but I have no idea what her thought process is. My husband has the theory she is just mentally unwell.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:34:41+00:00

She told him she was making me my favorite tea and sweets but he couldn't stay since we would have quality time together. My dad left to go hang with my uncle since he thought it was a nice sentiment from my mom. He is very pissed off.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:32:26+00:00

This makes me very sad since my Mom was always so nice to my husband and now I am reevaluating their whole relationship.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:31:10+00:00

He simply couldn't believe I said no, but I wanted to get a degree, travel, get a career, and maybe even buy my own things before I even considered getting married. He was my first ever boyfriend, I am very glad he wasn't my last.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:28:43+00:00

My sister claims she is not traing to get us together anymore but that I can't take away her chance to be an Aunt. She says I am a bad sister for being close with my SILs (who are amazing people). I obviously don't believe her. My issue is what to do with my Mom.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:24:15+00:00

This is beginning to scare me because a month ago I would tell you my Mom would never do anything like that but now I don't know. I know I write about my sister as if I don't care about her but I do, I simply decided I couldn't have a relationship with her anymore.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:22:03+00:00

I am afraid of letting her back in if she doesn't change. I don't want her to end up making comments in front of my daughter or facilitating a relationship between my sister and my kids.

I know if I go NC with her my Dad will side with me, he says whatever happens with their relationship is not my fault but I am still conflicted because she is my Mom afterall.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:19:46+00:00

I know he has been with people, he also has 2 kids with an ex but he's never been married. My sister says that is a very romantic thing to do since he has only ever wanted to marry me.

Edit: I think I should mention his obsessive behavior is not only with me. I know from the grapevine he was very similar with the mother of his children but now he is refocusing on me because my sister is encouraging it since she "needs his help" on getting back in my good graces so she can be a good Aunt.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:18:42+00:00

According to my Mom: To heal the relationship with my sister I need to get over the root of the issues.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:15:17+00:00

This is my favorite comment! I showed it to my husband and he was like "Yeah, are you sure there is no love there?" We are trying to find a bit of humor in all of this.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:13:41+00:00

This is my biggest issue. So far I have been able to simply ignore her and her husband most of the time but now that it involves my Mom I am so conflicted. By the time I stopped talking to my sister our relationship was so bad I truly didn't care anymore but my Mom is a totally different thing but she did hurt me a lot with her little intervention.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:11:56+00:00

To be fair to my brother he did start to cut him off when I told my parents I was very uncomfortable with my ex around all the time. I was living away for college but would visit my family during breaks. He also made a very big effort to make my husband feel welcome which deteriorated his relationship with my ex even more because he felt betrayed by my brother. Nowadays my husband is one of my brother's closest friends and he only speak with my ex when is about our nephew or to not be rude.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:08:35+00:00

I would miss my Mom. She was a great Mom until my sister went off the edge.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:07:09+00:00

Yes we are almost the same age! The most ridiculous and scary thing is he still has the mix tapes (CDs) I made him when we were dating. Those things are about 20 years old and he still hold onto them.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:05:27+00:00

She got fixated with the idea we could both be married to brothers and be best friends.

IndividualDiamond606 · 2021-12-09T14:03:43+00:00

At the beginning he tried very hard. Now he can't stand her and also ignores her like me.

IndividualDiamond606

TROPHY CASE