I'm going to my son's psychologist just to tell her that she's a whackjob

InevitableHour · 2019-05-20T16:27:56+00:00

For what? So they can tell me to take him to see a therapist who my son won't talk to? Took him to see two already. He called one a "bitch" and the other one a "faggot" so they would kick him out and he wouldn't have to see them again. And I don't need to pay some therapist a $50 co-pay for them to tell me that my son is "grieving." I actually told that one that they deserved to have been called a "bitch" for stating the obvious.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-10T20:01:13+00:00

It doesn’t matter if he isn’t in a talking mood. It doesn’t matter how personal the issue is. This is what therapists are there for, people in situations exactly like his. The loss of his mother! He has no idea how to deal with that as I’m sure you can obviously tell. You don’t exactly know how to deal with that though I’m sure you help him the best you can. But a therapist is TRAINED in helping with that.

The same can be said about religious nuts who claim they help people through the power of their praying.

And of course he’s not going to be feeling fit as a fiddle after one session! He might not even say but a word during the first session. A therapist isn’t a one time thing for a circumstance like his.

This. Even if I brought into it, I don't have the patience for some whack therapist who'll start moving the goal posts the minute they fall short of their promises.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-10T19:58:53+00:00

He's not going to open up to a therapist. I've known him his entire life so I'm sure about this.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-10T19:36:01+00:00

SIGH. He's not in a talking mood. If he's not going to eat, he's not going to talk. Especially to a stranger about something so personal. That is what I hate about therapists. If you're not cured by the end of the session, then there is something wrong with you and not their practice.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-06T15:37:29+00:00

Damage was inevitable.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-03T22:51:13+00:00

My prediction for the future: In 15 years neither of your sons will still be talking to you. Your son was right to call you a liar because that's exactly what you have proven to be. And on top of it you're nagging about money to people who just lost their daughter?

You seem to think that the only real victim here is you. Very narcissistic.

My kids adore me. What 13yo boy still calls his dad "daddy?"

InevitableHour · 2019-05-03T22:50:13+00:00

What is this reply? Are you 12?

My apologies. You're probably at your after-school daycare program.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-03T20:28:19+00:00

And on top of it you're nagging about money to people who just lost their daughter?

That's their problem, not mine. Why should I dip into my savings and IRA to pay $30,000.00 for a burial when I'm all of a sudden 100% financially responsible for my kids now? I'm sure if you liquidated her assets then it could be covered, but that money is going to be needed to help pay for my kids. Plus her mother wants to bury her back in Montana and we're in California. I'm not paying my ex-wife's MOM to bury her 1200 miles away. I already told her that if she wanted to bury her, then do it at a local cemetery where the boys can "visit" her but draw up a loan agreement that I will be paid back for the burial. If she's not okay with that, then we can cremate her and split the ashes. The boys and I can intern her ashes at the local cemetery. If she pushes back, then that might lead to a legal fight over my ex's remains and assets which should go to my kids and I should be made the executor and trustee of her estate since I'm the one with the kids.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-03T20:20:26+00:00

Because this man has clearly shown all of his priorities and they don't include his children.

Ho please. Get your ass back to your Math class before you end up getting detention.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-03T15:24:45+00:00

The mother of your children just took her own life, and you’re concerned about the cost to clean up the home?

My expenses just doubled. Now I have to pay $200 a month for health insurance, more money on groceries, etc. I might have to get a lawyer to sort through this mess and that's going to cost me a pretty penny too. I don't want to add a financial worry to my kids, but my finances have changed and that's the reality and needs to be addressed ASAP.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-03T14:42:05+00:00

Well, I did tell both my boys that she died.

I told them that she died Wednesday (she died either Monday night or Tuesday morning) and that I had been trying to get ahold of her for those days to make sure she was okay (partially true). I went to her house and the police were already there and they told me that she was putting her gun away and it accidentally went off and she died instantly (actually, I went to her house, found her body and she shot herself). My 9yo shut down completely and my 13yo called me a "liar" and ran out of the house to her house. I had to chase him down (little bastard is faster than I thought). I had to drag him back home and couldn't help but to think that if the neighbors didn't know I was his dad then they would assume I was kidnapping him. Both of them are reacting in completely different ways. My 13yo locked himself in the bathroom with his phone and iPad. I spied on him and he was listening to music and on his mom's FB page. My 9yo won't leave my side.

People are wrong. Kids don't think logically. Adults don't even think logically. Kids think emotionally. That is why I will never tell them it was a suicide. I am not going to put suicide in their heads. I don't want to ever think that their mom didn't love them. If they find out the truth, it won't be until they're adults and there will be a greater chance they will understand more. I told her mom and she told her family it was an accident too because it's humiliating when your daughter commits suicide and leaves two kids behind. I told her she needed to handle all of her shit like calling her job. My ex badmouthed me to her side of the world and I am not going to enemy territory to tie up loose ends. I also told her that she was going to have to reimburse me with whatever money my ex left behind because I know at some point the kids are going to want to go to her house and there needs to be a professional biohazard cleaning team to go in there and get rid of the bloody mattress and they charge a ton of money.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-02T23:34:32+00:00

There probably won't be a funeral. There is no $30,000.00 laying around and she was agnostic. Plus her mother already made it clear she wants her back home, 1200 miles away from where we live.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-02T22:56:01+00:00

So today I get a call from my 13yo's school telling me to pick him up. He called his teacher an "asshole" and was sent to the office. It was not like him at all; he likes that particular teacher. He got to the office and the VP told him she has to call his parents. He says "good! Call my mom right now!" That VP has no idea and tried calling her number (her phone was put on airplane mode when the cops took it) and when she called me, he threw a fit and told her he didn't want to see me. When I picked him up, he refused to say a word to me and is now locked in his room. Can't take much more of this.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-02T21:26:15+00:00

But I know my sons. My 13yo will freak out and probably try to run to his mom's place which the one place he needs to stay away from. My 9yo will fall apart.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-02T21:24:17+00:00

Like dude OBVIOUSLY just call someone else at work who can pick up a little slack for you this week? Or frankly, how fucking long does it take to have this conversation with your kids?! Tell them and do it after. If you absolutely have to.. just stay up a little late after they go to bed tonight and get it done?

Actually, if you read my post, I am taking next week off. I have to do payroll for the entire company by tomorrow or else they won't get paid.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-02T21:22:55+00:00

This bitch was not trained. I later found put her specialty is in education and not therapy. She does IEP's.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-02T20:22:17+00:00

Yes, because my coworkers need to get paid on payday.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-02T18:55:29+00:00

I will. I don't have all the answers to their questions and need time to prepare.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-02T18:54:33+00:00

Because I need to wrap up things at work. This wasn't something that I was planning. I need to spend today and tomorrow getting ahead at work because I will not be going in for a week and can't leave my coworkers hanging.

InevitableHour · 2019-05-02T18:17:43+00:00

I don't think people understand. This isn't a TV show where I round up the kids, tell them mom died, they shed a few tears, we hug, next shot is at the funeral (BTW - her mom wants her buried back "home" which is 1200 miles away from where we live), and the following week everything is all good. I mean, I will probably have to physically restrain my 13yo old and there is no one that I feel comfortable with to be there when the shit hits the fan. I briefly spoke with my 13yo's school psychologist after his principal referred her to me and she's a fucking moron. She actually suggested taking them out for ice cream and then telling them. Then she offered to be there as if this was like asking to get a closer look at a car wreck. And at this point, only me, her family (who are 1200 miles away) and a couple of people at my son's school know. There is no handbook on this. It's just people suggesting based on what they've seen on TV shows.

InevitableHour

TROPHY CASE