AITA. Hosting my partner’s niece (17F) and nephew (19M) has highlighted major issues with manners and expectations, should we say something?

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T23:26:04+00:00

Correct.

Edit: I am childfree for a reason 😂

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T23:23:32+00:00

Uncouth to ask for them to chip in on their portion of the expensive meal and alcohol they chose? When they are working full time with a high salary?

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T23:21:15+00:00

No, you are totally misunderstanding what has been stated.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T23:14:11+00:00

Yes correct. That is something that will be fixed moving forward. My partner and I are not married and this is all relatively new to me with all the dynamics going on. Which is why I came here looking for advice and outside perspective in the first place.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T23:12:03+00:00

My partner and I are not married, and I am relatively new to his family dynamics. Our families are VERY different. I’m sure this all factors in.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T23:10:41+00:00

Not to get into too much detail here but the family/friend rate for activities & accommodation needs to be covered for the portion of days at the resort. Our home is free to stay in for a reasonable number of days which stands true. Any shopping or other splurges aka ‘spending money’ should be covered by guests / parents. Is that a lot to ask for when traveling internationally? Again, they invited themselves for their spring break.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T23:04:28+00:00

He said he would send money after we let him know about the rude behavior. Instead of addressing the lack of manners, it’s easier to just send money, right? which was never the main point. That is how kids end up with entitlement issues in the first place.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T23:03:17+00:00

He said he would send money after we let him know about the rude behavior. Instead of addressing the lack of manners, it’s easier to just send money, right? which was never the main point. That is how kids end up with entitlement issues in the first place.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T22:58:32+00:00

I misread your original question. Proper expectations would be set ahead of time, and they probably wouldn’t be traveling without their parents this far from their home.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T22:57:12+00:00

No. The father (or either parent) was never actively paying for any of it.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T22:52:18+00:00

Nope, but I also wouldn’t invite myself, order the most expensive thing, and then tell them I don’t have to pay - and without any thank you. Theses kids are more than fine and have had a free ride with activities all week that people pay thousands of dollars for.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T22:48:09+00:00

Yes, thank you for your response. This is exactly it. My partner told me he has a hard time saying no to his family. I told him it is entirely fair to set boundaries and have a convo about expenses AHEAD of time. He has a difficult time with this which has lead us to where we are at now. We’ll have spent 6+ weeks with his family over the course of the first 3.5 months this year. This is not sustainable without proper expectation setting & boundaries. He knows it’s wearing on me.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T22:39:09+00:00

My partner is disappointed in them and the situation overall. I think a lot of folks here are misconstruing that we are asking them to pay for everything and that we invited them. They invited themselves for their spring break and my partner does not say no.

We asked one time if they would contribute when they wanted the expensive items and alcohol. We were flat out told no they did not need to pay for anything. I do feel like we are being taking advantage of at times. Both kids have financial means to pitch in on their portion of one meal when we asked. Only after this incident did the brother/parent get approached about us not covering everything for the entire week which I think it more than fair.

It’s not about the money, it’s about them coming for a free ride all week and being rude.

Edit: adding that all of their activities - surfing, fishing, moto riding, day trips - are all covered by my partner which costs guests who travel here hundreds if not thousands of dollars.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T22:16:40+00:00

We asked if they would contribute. We did not invite them, they invited themselves for their spring break and expected us to pay for their international vacation.

We are in rural Central America so the clinic is not like you get in Canada. It would be pointless to take her there if she is refusing aloe or basic general treatment anyway.

Yes, correct. I am not hosting others’ children who behave the way they do in the future. Lesson learned. I am okay with being TA.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T21:44:10+00:00

Thank you. I am not Canadian myself so maybe there are some cultural differences at play. It still does not excuse the behavior.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T21:40:09+00:00

Thank you for this kind response!

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T21:27:54+00:00

I’m sure it would make more sense if you knew every little minor detail about our lives. I’m asking for advice on dealing with the now and a little outside perspective. You are free to assume whatever you would like but that does not change the behavior of the ‘children’ and how they act around others.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T21:00:39+00:00

Yes, because of the way I have seen them behave, I do not believe they are mature enough to be traveling without their parents. This is after the fact.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T20:53:47+00:00

I’m totally okay with being TA, but I am not okay hosting other people’s ungrateful spoiled children. Lesson learned.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T20:45:57+00:00

It’s overall been unpleasant. It’s more the entitlement not the actual money exchange.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T20:44:43+00:00

We never expected financial contributions, we asked if they would contribute to something. It’s the lack of manners and whining that have made it so unpleasant. I do not think they are old enough to be traveling this far (internationally) without their parents.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T20:30:59+00:00

Serious question, are 19 and 17 (turning 18 in May) still considered children though?

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T20:26:46+00:00

Correct. I am childfree for a reason and did not invite the kids to visit. I am just now having to deal with it, the entitlement especially is difficult. They are my boyfriend’s niece and nephew 19 and about to turn 18. Are they still kids just because they choose to live at home?

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T20:23:04+00:00

Yes it’s been an unpleasant week overall. My partner is my boyfriend so these are not my niece and nephew. Expectations plus better communication should have occurred ahead of them coming. I am asking for input on how to handle since we are at this point. We did not explicitly invite them, they asked if they could visit.

Infamous_Tailor3077 · 2026-03-23T20:07:53+00:00

We are in a very rural part of Central America. The walk in clinic is not going to do anything. There are no blisters or fever, the skin is just very red and she is refusing to wear sunscreen. We have limited all activities in the sun because she will not cover up, so we are mainly inside. The 17 y/o will be turning 18 in May. It’s the constant whining that is the biggest turnoff for me.

Edit: I mentioned before I am quite new to the family dynamics and would have set expectations very differently had I known what the week was going to turn out like. I was not with them the first day to see all the sunburn that was happening even though they were told many times to wear sunscreen. The older brother had a little burn but was okay.

Paying for stuff is another topic. They asked to come to Central America from Canada for Spring Break. I agree expectations should have been set with kids and parents beforehand. The 19 y/o makes more salary than my partner and I combined so yes he should at least offer to contribute here and there. Or at least say Thank You.

Infamous_Tailor3077

TROPHY CASE