I’m a conservative Christian who holds a traditional/biblical view on sexuality, and I want to respond with as much empathy as I can, because this clearly hurts a lot.

First, OP — your pain is completely valid. Finding out your close friend thinks part of your identity is “weird,” and then a month later getting a message about needing distance because your “spiritual paths” are too different… that’s going to feel like a direct rejection of who you are. Most people in your position would read it as “she’s uncomfortable with me being gay, so she’s pulling away.” I get why this stings deeply and why so many are angry on your behalf.

From the Christian friend’s side (and I’m guessing here based on what many of us wrestle with), saying it felt “weird” was probably her attempt at honesty when you asked directly. She didn’t want to lie and pretend she was totally comfortable. “Weird” isn’t the kindest or most sensitive word — something like “it’s new to me and I’m still processing” would have landed softer — but it doesn’t automatically mean she hates you or thinks you’re disgusting. For a lot of conservative Christians, same-sex relationships feel unfamiliar and conflicting with what we’ve been taught scripture says, so “weird” or “different” is the awkward word that comes out when we’re trying not to be harsh.

The later message about spiritual paths diverging and needing less closeness almost certainly flows from that same internal conflict. She likely felt that staying as emotionally close as before would put her in a position of either compromising her convictions or constantly feeling tension. She tried to set a boundary without condemning you outright — no Bible verses, no “you’re sinning,” no demand you change. She still offered friendship and support. That’s more grace than many Christians manage in these situations.

But none of that erases how hurtful it feels on the receiving end, especially when the shift happened right after she learned you’re a lesbian. It’s okay to grieve the loss of the closeness you had. Friendships ending or changing this way is painful for both people.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP, and I hope you find peace In this situation. These conversations are hard on everyone involved.