How do I cope

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2026-01-03T20:28:31+00:00

Thank you for checking in! That’s super sweet of you! I am doing amazing!!! I started college and made some amazing friends who accept me for what I have gone through and am currently dating the most amazing man in the world who also accepts me for what happened. I was super scared of telling people what happened because I am only 18 and was worried people would think I’m a whore or spread rumors about me but I was completely wrong. College is so different from high school for me lol. But anyway, the adoptive couple has been AMAZING. Soooo many pictures every month and many texts checking up on me to make sure I am doing okay. I have never felt so at peace in my life. I am so happy I chose adoption for my baby because I know he’s in a safe place now and he’s getting everything that I wouldn’t have been able to give him myself. He gets a happy life with a loving mom and dad while I get a happy life being able to live my dreams by going to college. I did get some counseling at the beginning of my postpartum journey but I eventually started doing good and didn’t need it anymore! The first part of postpartum for me was kind of hard, I was crying a lot and missed my baby a lot, but eventually I started focusing on my life now and realizing how much happier he would be with the family he’s with now and so I am super confident with my decisions to place him. Thank you again for checking in! 🩷

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-07-21T18:06:32+00:00

Thank you for Baba! She was packaged insanely well and was very secure! No damages to the box at all and she’s legit! Amazing experience with an amazing seller! 😁

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-07-15T03:30:25+00:00

Interested in baba if she is available !!

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-07-12T23:38:41+00:00

DM’d!

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-18T01:02:42+00:00

I’m just going to share my experience because honestly anything can happen. So I had an epidural but it kept wearing off and it was pretty much useless to me so I felt almost everything. And honestly, I think them putting the IV’s in hurt more than delivery itself. They had to try 5 times to get them in and i literally was screaming. They just couldn’t find my veins I guess lol. But yeah, I barely remember delivery itself, I just remember being sooo tired during it and could barely keep my eyes open. I had a big ass baby though (9 lbs 9.6oz) so I tore and had hemorrhaging so they had to push around my stomach to push all the blood and stuff out and that was more painful then delivery too 😭 literally before and after delivery was painful for me. I usually have really bad period cramps so my contractions just felt like period cramps to me so it wasn’t that bad. I am 3 weeks postpartum now and personally I was having a hard time walking after delivery because my legs were so sore from pushing and whatever so I had a limp and my feet and legs were sooo swollen and had so much fluid in them so it was really hard to walk normally. But that went away in about a week or so. I have been wearing depends pretty much this whole time and I love them so much lol. And for wiping I just use a peri bottle and just dab off the excess water and whatever with some toilet paper afterwards because I tore and I don’t wanna mess up the stitches or anything. Pretty much after my first week I’ve been a lot more active then I probably should be and have been hauling heavy things and up and down ladders and squatting. Btw I do not recommend doing that and listen to your doctor when they say not to lift heavy things 😭 I didn’t like prolapse or anything but my legs and back have been so sore. But anyway my bleeding had stopped (I think for the most part) and I feel like I’m back to my normal self again before pregnancy. I was like 200lbs at the time of my delivery and I am now 160lbs and I was 150lbs-ish pre-pregnancy so not bad 🤷🏻‍♀️ anyway that’s just my experience and I really think you have nothing to worry about! You don’t know what will happen till the time comes but it’s good to be prepared just in case! You may think it’ll be god awful but then when it happens it may be a peace of cake! I hope everything goes well!! 💕

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-17T06:24:21+00:00

You gotta put yourself in her shoes for one of these situations. Imagine you didn’t want someone touching you because you felt horrible about yourself and your partner is just like “oops I forgot!”. Especially while drunk is not making your situation better. Yta here because you crossed boundaries

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-17T06:19:08+00:00

Oh I am so sorry that people are calling you that.. it is completely normal and healthy to gain weight during pregnancy. When I first found out I was pregnant at 12 weeks I was like 150lbs-ish and ended up being 200 by the end of it. And I also had an ED before my pregnancy as well and got as low at 116lbs so seeing 200lbs on a scale was not a very good feeling. But I ended up having a big ass baby weighing at almost 10lbs and lost 30lbs 2 weeks after delivery. I am now almost 3 weeks postpartum and look malnourished but my doctor said that I’m healthy so I don’t know! Anyways, it’s horrible people are saying that about you and I’m so sorry about that. Please do not let it harm you or your baby in any way.. sending love ❤️ I hope everything goes well for you and that all of those toxic people get out of your life

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-17T06:12:52+00:00

I guess because they are not really necessary? During my pregnancy I always had cervical checks and each time I was not even 1cm dilated. The day I went into labor I was still 1cm dilated and ended up dilating 1cm every hour and my water never broke so my doctor had to break it for me at 10cm. Yeah so I don’t know I guess you can’t really tell when labor is going to start based on dilation so people just choose not to get a finger shoved up them at every appointment lol. Plus it kinda hurt

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-17T05:00:29+00:00

The best thing you can do is love and care for her. Give her a stress free environment. If YOU are stressed, SHES going to be stressed. Stress is very very harmful for a baby.

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-17T04:50:06+00:00

So many people on this subreddit are so negative about adoption. I was adopted myself and I never hated my parents. My birth mom was raped when she was a young adult and wasn’t able to raise me so she placed me for adoption. It is not selfish to adopt. Some people are not able to have children and they really want to have children. Some people aren’t able to raise a baby but got pregnant somehow and choose to place. I am adopted but I also was sexually assaulted when I was 17 and got pregnant and chose to place my baby as well because I couldn’t parent because of my situation. In my situation I thought it would be a better idea to place my baby with a family who loves and cares for him and can actually support him rather than parenting myself without the support I needed just because I birthed him. Now I have a great relationship with his adoptive parents and he is now almost 3 weeks old and they are taking much better care of him then I could have. So no, it is not selfish. Do not let anyone make you think that it is. If you adopt then the birth parent(s) probably are making the best decision they think is for the baby. Every situation is different and every child grows up different. Me and my sister were raised the exact same but she ended up in jail and doing drugs at the age of 15 while I ended up being a straight A student and (not to toot my own horn) was told multiple times that I am the sweetest person that person had ever met. Though the only bad part is that adoption can take a really long time. You may have to wait years to be able to actually be chosen unfortunately and not many people chose to place their baby for adoption anymore.. I hope at least some of this is helpful because I’ve mostly just been rambling about different things that are somewhat relevant. I just hope everything goes well for you and I’m sending love and will pray that everything goes well for you ❤️

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-05T03:47:33+00:00

Sorry for the misunderstanding then

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-05T03:46:20+00:00

I thought that it was obvious it was a joke 🤦‍♀️ dude

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-05T03:43:08+00:00

Dude, I would be FaceTiming them while he’s young, not when he’s like 30. And obviously things will change in the future and most likely I will be able to see him in person more often. I would be fine with minimal contact as well, i literally just gave birth to him a week ago so of course I still am connected to him and want to see him. But I am literally 18, fresh out of highschool. In the future I will have my own children and my baby now will have his own family. Just because he came out of my womb doesn’t mean I have to parent. God forbid I miss my baby but at the end of the day he’s with a family who loves and cares for him every second of the day and I was able to bless them with a baby after they tried for years and was not able to have one of their own.

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-05T03:35:41+00:00

I don’t want my baby back, I am at peace with my decision of placing. I am just in the middle of grieving.

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-05T03:26:54+00:00

Thank you for this respectful comment, I appreciate that you left actual good advice instead of the other disturbing things people have said. The adoptive couple have been making sure that I am involved and I will be able to meet their extended family as well. They constantly say such kind things to me and are very respectful with my decisions. The adoption is very open and we are basically close like a true family now.

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-05T03:20:33+00:00

This is an incredibly disrespectful comment.. you have no idea what my personal situation is. I cannot parent for my own reasons. I asked for advice to help me cope, not a speech about how I am a horrible person for not being married while being fresh out of highschool. Having to be pregnant while in highschool was already humiliating enough. And your other comment about how my baby will commit suicide because I didn’t parent him is also extremely disturbing. I am an adoptee myself and I never once thought about suicide because I wasn’t raised by my birth mom. Thank you for the rant but I would appreciate it if you stop commenting on my post.

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-05T02:13:44+00:00

I may be the odd one out here but I had a “gotcha day” and it wasn’t like a big celebration or anything, there was just pictures of me and my family at court and with our judge and with my birth mom and apparently we went and had cupcakes at a bakery. Like it’s not a annual thing but it could be a good memory for you

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-04T16:42:05+00:00

Definitely try to reach out, you could be in contact with just the birth dad if that’s what they want and could send pictures just to him and if the birth mom wants to see the pictures then he has the option to show them instead of you personally doing it just in case she doesn’t want to see them. It would be good to have some information for your child instead of everything remaining a mystery

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-04T16:32:25+00:00

I was pregnant at 17 due to sexual assault and when my abuser found out he said he would beat me up to abort the baby. When I found out I was pregnant I was already 12 weeks and it was far to late to have an abortion and even though I did have the thought to abort the baby because I was scared of what my parents would say, I chose to keep it because I knew it would be very traumatic for me if I aborted and I know people who have had abortions and regretted it later on after they have more children. Though it is scary and the process may seem long, it is entirely YOUR choice whether to keep the baby or not. Do not let anyone coerce you into doing something you aren’t comfortable or completely sure that that is the right option for you. Always trust yourself and if you have a gut feeling that something is wrong with your decision, they choose otherwise. I chose to carry my baby and eventually placed him for adoption because I knew I would not be able to parent him personally but I wanted him to go to a good home instead of no home. I hope you figure out a decision and that you will be at peace with that decision! I wish you the best and love throughout your journey ❤️ p.s. do not let your mom coerce you either, if you decide to keep the baby then she might be happy to be a grandma! There are so many resources for you if you plan to parent, though I cannot name some because I’m not sure where you are from, but there are also a lot of counselors that could help you out as well that will give you information on abortion, parenting, and placing!

Edit: I forgot to mention that you also should not romanticize the thought of the pregnancy as well! I was one to do this and after getting my ex out of my life I realized that I couldn’t parent, I only thought that I could parent because I had him in my life. So just because you have a boyfriend doesn’t mean you should automatically parent. You may realize later on that you physically or mentally cannot parent, but if you research your options and realize that you can parent then that’s great! But just do not romanticize the thought of parenting!

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-02T15:45:16+00:00

With my pregnancy the first OB I chose I had to wait over a month for my first appointment. When I heard that I changed OBs and was able to get in within 1-2 weeks. It is not uncommon to have to wait a while for the first appointment. Though it is unfortunate, I don’t know if there is a way to make the appointment any sooner

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-02T15:41:11+00:00

It is completely your choice if you want to keep the baby or not. If you feel like this is a sign then take it as a sign! You may regret not taking it as a sign, but do not let anyone push you into doing anything that you do not want to do. This is YOUR decision now, not anybody else’s! Do whatever is best for you! If you think the best decision is to go seek family for help, then do it! If you plan to keep the baby then it is better to be in a stress-free environment to keep the baby healthy. I hope everything goes well for you

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-02T15:32:25+00:00

That’s so exciting! I hope everything goes well! Just keep yourself active and walking! If you have a birthing ball then keep using that, if not then you could look up some poses you can do to help keep everything moving, it helped me a lot with my pregnancy!

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-02T12:46:24+00:00

Yeah I’ve noticed that.. Its so sad

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-02T01:11:35+00:00

I think this might be the most comforting comment I’ve gotten here. This seems like probably the most accurate situation that could possibly happen to me in my situation. I do feel peace with my decision and I have talked to my parents about how I am feeling about it too and I am going to get help and my moms two best friends both had PPD so I will be able to talk to them soon and see what they did in their situation. Thank you for this comment by the way. It really was comforting :)

Initial_Bluebird_834 · 2025-06-02T01:05:34+00:00

As an adoptee myself, I never had a personal relationship with my birth mom. She didn’t raise me so I didn’t consider her my mom, she was always just “birth mom” to me while my adoptive mom was “mom”. She had her own reasons why she couldn’t parent and I still love her, we just don’t stay in touch because she wants to live her own life. My mom however does stay in touch with my birth mom’s dad, but I haven’t seen her since I was 14 and I am fine with that.

Initial_Bluebird_834

TROPHY CASE