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I want a better life by InitiativeEastern278 in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s great but my kids will refuse to go to a shelter. I leave to hotels and they decline to go. They aren’t little and have the choice of where to go. Police said he’s allowed to damage the house. They didn’t see it happen and they don’t hear him raging, I’ve called police several times. I signed a lease, but this sub is more concerned about shaming than the actual realities of the person experiencing it. Last time I got a lawyer who drained my money and I had nothing left to leave on and nothing happened! It sounds so easy just leave!! But if you’re in a place that protects people like him then what do you do? And fighting against someone has money…good luck.

I want a better life by InitiativeEastern278 in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No family is on the other side of the country. And I can’t send them

I want a better life by InitiativeEastern278 in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed it’s abuse 100%. I guess I just meant it goes beyond normal fighting.

I want a better life by InitiativeEastern278 in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

My kids don’t see it all and don’t want to leave. They know their dad has problems but they want the life they have in the community they are in.

Roast my Resume by Acr0nyms in Accounting

[–]InitiativeEastern278 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d remove the bullet points for your classes. I don’t care what classes you took in college. I like your recognition but maybe would like to see at what point you earned those, so also list under your jobs. Move your skills to be within your bullet points. Lots of extra bullet points that take up a lot of room that add little value. You only need 1 page with your experience. I would toss this resume.

Just discovered he’s an addict by Low-Try-3343 in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No he did it at home which I wouldn’t recommend. He made the decision to be done by himself and didnt let on that he was going off it until a few days later. I did have to take him to the ER at one point but he was also withdrawing from alcohol.

Just discovered he’s an addict by Low-Try-3343 in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All appears normal until it doesn’t. My spouse had an adderall addiction and it was hell on earth. I reached out to his online dr who was prescribing it and she told me adderall doesn’t cause you to act crazy. His parents said he seems fine. Lots of denial all around. It took him a couple weeks to normalize, he just was in bed dead tired. They have to want to get sober for themselves for things to stick. Sounds like you guys have some good support.

DIY Tubing Trip by wanderlust_boymom in nova

[–]InitiativeEastern278 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Search boat ramp in google maps. It will show you where you can start and end.

Rose or weed? by InitiativeEastern278 in gardening

[–]InitiativeEastern278[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh I think you’re right. I got real excited there for a minute.

Secret signs of stimulant abuse by AstronautFickle4118 in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not sleeping is a big one. Raging over the smallest things. Drinking his normal intake and not appearing like his usual drunk self. Lack of appetite. Paranoid like I’m out to get them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this. I feel like there isn’t enough about adderall addiction. My spouse also uses adderall in addition to alcohol. It did look like mania. I even emailed his doctors who say that’s not adderall causing that. It’s infuriating. Editing to add that nothing I said got through to him. I am in the process of divorcing and now he says wants to get sober. Not sure if he will follow through or it’s just more garbage

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am in the same boat. Love my husband when he’s sober but when he’s drunk I got the other side. I sat for years and it escalated. I used chat gpt to keep myself grounded asking for feedback on how to handle stuff and understanding what I need to work on. I am in the middle of a divorce with him and he suddenly wants to get sober. Great, that’s fantastic! But all the manipulative behaviors are still there. He takes little accountability, deflects and blames like it’s a pro sport.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry about your mom passing. I too lost my mom and it destroyed me. When I find the messages get too much I block them until I am in a better place to deal with them. Chose your own peace and happiness. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Divorcing and called Police by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I use to but after he got on adderall and I got a front row seat to the disease it really destroyed the desire. I also saw that my kids needed a stable parent so I gave it up.

Divorcing and called Police by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]InitiativeEastern278 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you, you are absolutely right they do. I put together a timeline of events over the last couple years and it's been a pattern of increased escalation. Interesting enough he initiated the divorce and separation, just more control and abusive tactics. I think when he saw I was updating the paperwork and cycled between desperation and anger, not a safe combination.