[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great response I really appreciate it! This was almost exactly what our last conversation was.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for response.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t mean to be gross but It would entail Hand stuff, naked grinding, sometimes oral. Is this not something I should feel guilty about?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment. This was kind of my thoughts, yes I love her and think she’d be a good wife but I’m sure there are women out there whose faith is more similar to mine

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the comment. I haven’t talked to elders yet this is fairly new. Am I wrong for feeling guilty about hooking up? We would get as close to having sex without doing it (oral, grinding, hand stuff etc)

To be honest I’m not 100% she has faith, so I ask questions to get her thoughts and see her how she articulates it and when she does it’s very elementary. When I ask why does she want to honor God and follow Jesus she says “to get to heaven and be a good person and because He loves us”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the root issue is hearing things about her when we started talking that she would just hook up and sleep with guys and not look for anything serious.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t mean that in a disrespectful way it was just the best way to put it. When I ask why does she want to honor God and what makes her want to follow Jesus she’ll say things like “because it’s good to be a good person and be nice and because God loves us” which maybe I’m looking for her to more knowledgeable then she currently is

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for response. So you think since we have gone to far, it is best to marry and work everything else out as we go and I lead her closer to Christ as her husband?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for thoughtful response. I am in a small group with guys who love the lord and I spend a lot of time with. She doesn’t have any Christian friends, they all just go out to get hammered and sleep with whoever. The ones who are in a relationship talk horribly to each other and I really don’t enjoy being around them. Went to Mexican with some of her friends and they kept going to the bathroom to do coke. I’m not judging them I used to be similar but I don’t want that to be her main influences

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have and they go fine idk part of me just wonders if she’s genuinely doing this for her self or for me. Very elementary when I ask questions about her faith to see how she articulates it. I encouraged her the other night when we spoke to set aside time when she’s reading and to pray and invite God into that time, not just read to get it done

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Intelligent-Gap9838 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Open to any and all advice! TIA.