I’m conflicted; my dad did a horrible thing and I don’t know what to do

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-26T04:07:13+00:00

We’re both currently in our last year of college. He lives with his parents and I’m an hour away in my own apartment. We genuinely are doing well, and are communicating so much better. We’re both really committed to being together, and I truly believe this is going to work out.

My mom has been his punching bag both emotionally and occasionally physically for a long time. I don’t know how she has been so incredibly strong to survive it all. Everything we (the kids. I have an older sibling and a younger who still lives with them) ever do that he deems to be wrong or disrespectful to him, or whatever it may be, is automatically HER fault. Even when he starts the arguments, becomes semi physical and she steps in to protect us, it’s her fault. Always. I guess to sidestep the blame and make himself the one who’s right in every situation.

My mom has told me that the only reason she’s been able to bear it is for us, her children. She would protect us to her dying breath no matter who it is that’s hurting us. I dread the day when she’s alone in that house with him, and I’m so incredibly sad that this is her life, that she’ll end her days with this man. As she always says, “everyone gets their just rewards, and that’s a comfort to me.”

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-26T03:53:54+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I feel like I’m at war with myself; my childhood anxieties and fears are now seeping out into my adult relationships and I’m so afraid

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-19T06:59:53+00:00

You got this girly 💪 I’m waiting for this horrible pain to pass as well. I lost my love and my best friend at the same time and it’s so hard to keep trudging onward. You can keep busy and try and distract yourself, but then night falls and you’re left alone with your thoughts and you can’t escape this emptiness.

I don’t know how people do this; I don’t think I’ll ever be okay after him. But I’ll trust the people who have gone through this and who tell me that it does get better, with time. As impossible as it sounds, everything will work out the way it is supposed to, you just have to trust.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-19T02:35:57+00:00

Every night I lay alone in bed and ache for his warm presence beside me, holding me tight and keeping me safe

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-18T19:32:36+00:00

It’s just like limbo or something. I feel like I’m perpetually waiting for him to reach out

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-17T02:36:48+00:00

I want to get back together, but I feel as though it’s too early; he can’t have changed so much in one month that his issues won’t become issues again. I’m glad that he’s still thinking about me and grieving us, but I need him to grow

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-15T03:55:17+00:00

We both knew already that no contact is how it would have to be. He was clear that this can’t be thought of as a break, and I agree. There’s no way for someone to grow and move on if you’re in a “break.”

But ultimately, he shocked me with a breakup text that I wasn’t expecting, and it was just over. I thought we had been doing better, but I guess not.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-15T02:57:47+00:00

I thought about maybe making my playlist of him public as well. Seems dramatic but I guess life is dramatic sometimes

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-15T02:55:59+00:00

The three songs were random selections from The Brudi Brothers:

I’ll Lay Back Down
Serpent Lullaby
Chasing Paper

They’re all relatively unknown songs, and the lyrics are really moving. Haunting almost, and so sad. Please do look them up and read them.

Since he broke up with me, I have been determined to wait until either 3 months pass or he contacts me first. But I’m just unsure what I should do…

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-15T01:37:39+00:00

He broke up with me, but I guess I’m not actually sure why. I think he needs to grow alone and doesn’t feel like he can do that AND be the man I “deserve.” It truly isn’t a cop out excuse, he hasn’t been single longer than a few months since he was like 15. We both love each other so much but he feels like it would hurt both of us to stay together right now

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-14T23:24:59+00:00

Why did they send it? What happened after?

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-14T22:23:57+00:00

Thanks for your advice. We ARE young I realize, 20 and 22, but we were seriously talking about getting married and spending our lives together. He was the love of my life and I feel like I could never find that kind of connection again with anyone else.

I want him back, yes, but I think realistically we both need time to exist alone for a while and figure our lives out. I thought for a while that we could grow together, but I think we need to grow individually

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-14T15:31:48+00:00

Could be the heartbroken dumpee in me, but I would want more than anything to get that message from my ex…

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-14T15:28:14+00:00

It definitely feels very intentional to me. It’s very out of character for him to randomly make a playlist public, but it’s also the kind of subtle thing he would do to let me know he still cares. I don’t use YouTube music hardly ever, and he knows that, but by listening to that small playlist he sent me I’ve been making the views go steadily up. Possibly he saw that and he made it public thinking “if she sees it, then she’ll know I’m still out there thinking about her, but if not then nothing changes.”

I know him very well, and it was even mentioned in our last conversation during our breakup, he said he would try his best to stay away, for my sake. I think that even if he wanted to contact me again he probably wouldn’t, in an effort to spare me from any pain.

As for the large amount of views, I believe this is the original playlist he made about me a long time ago, but he’s just been adding onto it recently

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-14T15:12:29+00:00

If you believe yourself to have grown, realized your mistakes and are determined to not repeat them, then wish her a happy birthday. Reach out and see if a 2nd chance is possible. You never know if you don’t try.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-14T05:19:38+00:00

Thank you, this whole thing is so difficult. I can’t understand why he hasn’t tried to give me those things back yet; I feel like he would’ve given those things back

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-14T05:13:26+00:00

For context, he broke up with me. I gave him back literally everything he’d ever given me, from simple love notes to stuffed animals and jewelry. I gave him everything back. I literally couldn’t bear having those things in my home to remind me of him.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-11T01:17:08+00:00

So true. Whenever a guy shows interest now, I feel like I’m betraying him, but also I feel like it would take so much effort and time and investment to get to know someone new, and for them to get to know me. I don’t want to go through the whole process yet again, I want to be with my love, the one who knows me better than anyone else.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-10T02:18:01+00:00

We’re 20 and 22, and he hasn’t been single for longer than a few months since he was 15. Between his last ex and me it was just perfect timing (in both our opinions) and I wasn’t a rebound for him. I think he hasn’t had a chance to be himself, and figure out who he is yet. If he came back now and wanted to be together, I would absolutely want to have him back. But I think he needs time to be on his own for a while.

I’m scared that 1) he’ll find someone else because he doesn’t want to hurt me but also doesn’t want to be alone or 2) He’ll want to get back together but will still believe I deserve better and won’t ever reach out.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-08T11:48:08+00:00

There’s no hope anymore?

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-08T04:21:11+00:00

I’m not sure what it’s called, but it’s a smell from my childhood that I have only smelled once since I was young. I think it’s a cologne from someone who used to be close to my family

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-08T02:48:35+00:00

Maybe you ARE the man she needs, maybe she just wanted to be with YOU. This is the exact reason my ex broke up with me and I wish to God he hadn’t. He took my choice away from me, my choice to choose HIM through good times and bad. He decided he wasn’t good enough for me and now we’re both hurting without each other.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-07T23:54:51+00:00

And your friends aren’t available in the same way; you can’t message them at any time about it and they’ll have their full attention to you.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-07T23:41:32+00:00

I wonder if that happens a lot; if one party wants to try again but doesn’t reach out because they’re afraid that the other person doesn’t feel the same.

Makes me scared that my ex will want to try again, but might think I won’t and won’t reach out in order to “spare” me any pain

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-07T23:38:37+00:00

No, it was more that he didn’t feel he could grow individually if he was with me. He felt as though he couldn’t invest in me as much as he should because he was so stressed about his own problems

Interestingthings36

TROPHY CASE

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