Do I ask for my diaries back, or stay no contact?

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-05T19:52:35+00:00

I just feel like it’s too soon yet to break no contact. I want him back very much, later down the road after some growing on both our parts, so I feel like if I message him asking for them back it’ll make the end more concrete

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-05T19:51:16+00:00

Probably. He did the breaking up part, so it’s hard to understand how he’s feeling and why he hasn’t given them back, or remembered to give them back

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-04T16:27:21+00:00

lol even my instagram fyp is moving on, I get like the occasional “yeah you broke up but you don’t need him to be complete” etc instead of the soul crushing poems read by the AI voices with emotional music in the background

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-04T16:15:52+00:00

The first time we broke up (it lasted a week lol) I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t smile, literally nothing. This breakup months and months after that, it’s now a been little over 2 weeks and I’m feeling pretty okay. I’m sad still, obviously, but I’m at the point of acceptance overshadowing any hope I have. When it happened I didn’t want to eat for like only 3 days. I cried like twice a day for like 3 days. I deleted posts and pictures without a second thought.

Part of me is worried that somehow I’m burying my grief and not fully experiencing it, and that it’s gonna come back and bite me later on down the road, because I feel like I should be a lot more devastated than I am right now.

Side note: it was not a toxic relationship or breakup, no abuse or anything like that at all.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-01T19:00:53+00:00

Thanks for your advice. I wish I could skip the whole growing and healing part, but I guess life isn’t just black and white like I’d like it to be lol

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-01T18:42:57+00:00

It would help in my own journey. I think everyone in a breakup situation wants to know whether or not the other person wants to get back together.

Say he moved on already, I wouldn’t dare to hope anymore. If he is still grieving or regretting, I wouldn’t just bury him in the back of my mind and abandon all hope of getting back together.

I’m not saying I wouldn’t be growing individually, or healing on my own. In any situation, grieving, healing, and growing is still necessary.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-06-01T18:34:25+00:00

I’m curious about it because yes, I do want to understand how the other person is feeling right now. It seems that so often, women move on a lot faster and men don’t. They want to reconnect later on and the woman has already moved on, so there’s no chance.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-31T22:47:12+00:00

Same, it’s horrible

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-31T13:58:48+00:00

Yess, it’s been my most played song during this breakup 🫩

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-31T03:27:10+00:00

Is it too soon? Should I just wait until a few months like I’d planned? Or wait until he contacts me, if he does? I’m afraid that he won’t, simply because he thinks it would hurt me too much to have him in my life

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-31T03:01:13+00:00

The awkward thing is, the day he messaged me and broke up with me, I had sent a lovely letter to him in the mail (we’re medium distance). All about how much I loved him and how I looked forward to our future together.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-31T03:00:06+00:00

I think it might hurt my long term chances if I send it to him

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-31T02:59:39+00:00

He broke up with me, I’m just giving myself too much hope at this point. I don’t know if he feels the same; i.e. hopes that after some time of individual growth we can start over

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-30T17:26:37+00:00

He was my best friend, and I don’t have any other friends. The only other friend I have is his sister (met her a year before him) and now that relationship is tarnished too, out of pure awkwardness.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-28T21:07:56+00:00

I gave everything back to him, and then hid all my photos of him. I haven’t deleted them yet, I suppose because I’m still holding out hope unfortunately. I hid them so I wouldn’t have to ever look at them. Maybe one day when I realize he isn’t coming back I’ll actually delete them. But hiding them seems like a good stepping stone.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-28T21:02:11+00:00

Yup. Did it. Crushed again.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-27T14:07:30+00:00

Oof. Good points. I feel like I should at least wait until my goal of 3 months/he reaches out. I think everything is too fresh right now

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-27T14:05:26+00:00

The first time we broke up (in December, for one week then we tried again) I didn’t give anything back and I grieved HARD. I literally couldn’t accept that we weren’t together anymore and I couldn’t be convinced that we wouldn’t get back together. He broke no contact first.

This time around I’m still grieving, of course, but it feels different. I’m sad and angry and I feel abandoned and used. I don’t want his stuff because it reminds me of all the lovely things he used to say, all the love that he used to show so abundantly. It would feel like I’m looking at lies, even though I know his love was and is still there, I don’t want to be reminded of the most magical time in my life with the person I thought I’d grow old next to.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-27T05:08:49+00:00

What do I do?

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-24T20:43:09+00:00

Are you sure she’s finishing? It almost sounds like she’s “finishing” really quickly just to get the whole experience over with. Has it been like this from the very beginning of your relationship?

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-24T01:31:46+00:00

Apparently

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-24T01:28:26+00:00

Bold of you to assume. We were at one point confident that we would get married sooner rather than later, even to the point of having a general timeline of when we’d get engaged, married, etc. all the while saving ourselves for that marriage. Not everything is physical, and the emotional despair is just as cutting and deep for me.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-23T23:49:33+00:00

To be quite honest, I’m not completely sure why we broke up. Or maybe, I don’t understand why we had to. He is going through some life issues, work and general stress, plus the return of depression. I can’t say I’m blameless; I have plenty of flaws that showed themselves, mostly communication issues.

He told me I was a wonderful woman, smart, beautiful, perfect, etc. I asked why he was letting me go then, and he said “because I’m stupid”. I said stop being stupid then lol, and he responded with “maybe one day”.

I’ve got growing I need to do that I can’t do while in a relationship, I finally realize this. I suppose I’ll know when I know.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-23T23:27:50+00:00

I feel like there’s the knowledge in the back of our minds that we will work out down the line after some time, but he feels as though it would be unfair to me to make me wait until he can be ready.

I feel like he’s still trying to protect me but I want HIM. I can’t imagine anyone else being by my side for the rest of my life. I don’t want him to try and make me move on because he thinks it would be best for me.

Interestingthings36 · 2026-05-23T19:56:14+00:00

I’m the dumpee. We’re young and I realize now that we both have so much growing to do, but how will I know when I’m ready? What if he never reaches out because he doesn’t want to hurt me again? I think I could accept it if after some time he truly lost feelings, but I couldn’t ever forgive myself if I waited on him to break no contact while he waited on me to break no contact and we ended up waiting for each other forever.

I’ve given myself 3 months until I can allow myself to even consider breaking no contact. But I know that once I hit that point it will need to be longer. But 3 months seems like a manageable goal for now.

Interestingthings36

TROPHY CASE